Firing Vendor...

Eat the money and go with another officiant.

Just simply tell them you don't believe they will be a good fit for you and you have decided to go with someone else and that you understand and are not expecting to get your money back. Thank them for their time and move on.

Nooooo, hearing this is giving me mild panic attacks. Find someone else and good luck!

That sucks, go with the person that is going to abide by your wishes. It's your day, get what you want.

I would let them go as well. Why send someone anything when you know it's not what they want to the point where they would freak out? It seems like they know you're not on the same page and don't care.

"Dear Officiant person,

We received your sample, and we are concerned that the text did not reflect our many conversations about our preferences. There are many elements that we specifically asked not to be included.

We do not feel comfortable going ahead with our partnership. Please let us know if any or all of our retainer/fee can be refunded.

Thank you".

I have read more than once about weddings where the officiant seems to change the ceremony script and suddenly include religious stuff that was previously expected to be excluded. I'd say even any red flag is too many and to inform them you'd like to go with someone else.

Thanks everyone.

@Celia, I was hoping you would post a reply. That language is extremely helpful!

I'm not normally a wimp about confrontation, but the situation is so uncomfortable and awkward, I wasn't sure how to approach it.

A couple came to me because the officiant they originally spoke with said that she didn't have a script, she'd just say whatever the spirit moved her to say on that day!

I showed them samples and reassured them they could have the totally non-religious ceremony they wanted. The groom asked, "Will you say anything else?" I replied, "I'll only say what we agree upon in advance." They booked me.

While they of course can change the script to accommodate wht youve discussed, its strange they wouldnt make those changes before sending it to you. Like they sent you a rough draft. You could always reply that youre unable to comment in it until you have a copy that addresses all of the things you have already discussed, then see if they send a better on that has all of your points. If theyre still lagging, then I would definitely get a different one.

Don't be uncomfortable about it. Every professional is used to being told we're not a good fit (though usually it's before, lol) And truly, it's not YOUR fault, it's really hers.

What celia said lol

I had at one point hired a reverend that I've known my entire life. He then refused to send me any paperwork stating that I had secured the church as a venue after multiple requests.

He sent me a email stating something along the lines of 'we could keep going back and forth with these emails, but I'm sure we would both agree that is ridiculous, so I plan to not hear from you again until sometime next year'

Keep in mind the wedding was in October of said 'next year' which would have meant not having a secured venue until maybe 8 or 9 months beforehand. Even then there was nothing saying he would send me written verification that I had the venue secured. No way was I going to trust not having things in writing, and since this Reverend had known me since I was 12, I'm surprised he thought I'd go along with it.

So I sent him a letter very much like the one Celia mentioned, and just 'released it to the universe' and took it from there.

Follow you gut.

Well, I had the awkward phone conversation. Now off to drink wine and calm my nerves!

Wait not religious but you are having biblical readings, am I missing something? I'd be confused too.

@Kathryn, we are both believers but not active church goers. More of the spiritual christians - what some call Christian lite. lol. With biblical verses, we are comfortable with the standard corinthians readings, not the full Genesis readings, etc.

We have another meeting with an officiant this evening who seems to get our "vision" much more clearly.

Sounds sloppy to submit to you a script with elements you specified as out of scope. Borderline unprofessional.

Stitching, as usual, I have no idea how your post remotely addresses the OP's inquiry (it's okay...no follow-up explanation necessary).

When the question is officiant related, Celia is the go-to person.