Fired Matron of Honor Etiquette

Hi wedding peeps, I have a question about etiquette after being fired from my position of Matron of Honor. The bride knows I have anxiety, a newborn and other such stressors, and said she was understanding. Fast forward to a disagreement about the shirts for the bridal party; I was going to do the whole bridal party as a gift to the bride and groom, shirts already ordered and all. But the other bridesmaids were basically telling me that they had talked to the bride and wanted to do something different. It hurt and when the bride got wind, she asked me if I was ok and what could be done to make things ok again. I said I had unrealistic expectations of what I wanted after we’d know each other for over 10 years; but what I really wanted was an apology from the maid of honor and the bridesmaid who I felt were the ones responsible for the disagreement. I left the conversation open for a while but conversations just moved on so I silenced notifications for the massive group text (that was receiving 30 plus comments about nothing that was life or wedding related) I would open them every other day at the longest and catch up. Eventually my husband said to accept the fact that I wasn’t going to get the apology I’d asked for and to either be the bigger person or step down.
I decided to suck it up.I unmuted fully and took tons of pictures of shoe shopping and dress shopping. I was invested. Then the shirts got brought up again. I figured that the ones who took over shirts had a plan in mind, come to find out that they really didn’t, and they kept asking me ideas. I eventually wrote to the Maid of Honor that I didn’t care what they did for the shirts, it wasn’t my wedding, and honestly, I was still a bit sore about the subject. The conversation was a long one and shouldn’t have taken place over text. I reached out to the bride and asked if she had mentioned anything to the others because I was feeling like we were back in the other conversation months prior. She said that I was unjustly defensive and the girls were just doing what they thought she wanted. That “to be honest the way I was talking made her nervous about how I could get along with the other gỉrls” I said I would make it work. After calming myself I asked the maid of honor if we could talk on the phone instead of text. Three hours later, we both apologized for miscommunications and I felt the two of us were in a good spot to truly move forward.
Several days later I get a call from the bride (who I’d talked to on a number of occasions and got no frustration vibes from) and she stalls the conversation by telling me that my anxiety made me self-centered and she didn’t want to deal with my drama on her big day. Which is still three months away. She said she didn’t want to deal with a breakdown on my end (which honestly only would happen if I couldn’t make her day perfect) between now and then when it came to the bridal shower and bachelorette party (both in the planning works). But apologies for her meant very little at this point.I’ve already bought the dress, shoes, and plane tickets ($2000 plus) all of which are non refundable at this point. I’m not saying the bride was fully in the wrong (honestly I wish I’d had the courage to ask my own MOH to step down when she had her own breakdown), and I wished she’d just let me sit with my tail tucked for a minute after my apology to her and the MOH. I’m wondering what my etiquette is at this point? Do I still attend the wedding? Do I not go? I don’t know if I want to see some other “friend” standing in my place. She’s a close family friend but my family doesn’t want to go if I don’t. Help!!!