Finding someone to officiate

Women officiants are pretty much the norm now, as much as men.

If you want a non-religious wedding, google secular officiant and your city/region.

Best wishes!

@MCB1218: Just be aware that Virginia does not recognize people ordained online as officiants. An officiant must be:

* any judge or justice of a court of record

* any judge of a district court or any retired judge or justice of the Commonwealth

* any active, senior or retired federal judge or justice who is a resident of the Commonwealth

* an authorized minister of any religious denomination

* a “one-time” marriage celebrant (must be a resident of the Commonwealth, and pay a $500 cash bond)

So even if you want a completely secular ceremony, if you don't want a judge or a "one-time" marriage celebrant, you're going to need an ordained minister.

As Celia says, there are people who are ordained, but are willing to do completely secular ceremonies. So don't rule out someone who is a minister just because you want a secular ceremony.

Virginia is tough. But I think Judith went through all the steps to be legal there.

In addition to searching for "secular officiant" also search for "civil wedding officiant."