Finding a venue, but not yet engaged!

Go look! your vendors don't need to know you're not engaged yet! Happy Planning!

I know someone that did this, they wanted a fall 2021 wedding and just started looking around. They had it narrowed down and he proposed before they signed any contracts. Waiting until May or June to get engaged might be stretching it to find something for summer/fall 2021. They don't necessarily need to know you're engaged either. Just make sure your boyfriend is on board so you're not coming across too pushy if that makes sense. I had ideas of where I wanted to get married but never pushed it with my boyfriend until we got engaged.

If you’re planning your wedding then you ARE engaged. An official “proposal” isn’t necessary to get engaged. If you’re venue hunting (and especially booking) and planning your wedding, that’s what being engaged is. The proposal is just a formality but it’s not even necessary to be engaged.


If doing an official proposal is that important to you guys then I’d either have him move up his timeline and come up with a different plan he can do sooner, OR don’t start looking at venues because if you do that then you’re engaged with or without a proposal.

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Agree with all of this. As long as your boyfriend is aware that you're looking at venues and is okay with starting to book things for a wedding, congratulations, you're engaged.

I agree, I got engaged at the end of May 2019, and our wedding is September 2020. That’s only 15 months. Honestly you need all the time you can get when planning a wedding.

Vendors don’t care about an engagement story, and they won’t ask to see a ring. As long as you’re both on the same page, it’s not weird to meet with vendors about planning a wedding

I started wedding planning before being officially engaged too aha it feels a bit odd just because you know you’re not there yet but will be but I think it’s ok to start planning

I booked my venue before we were engaged. I didn’t tell them I wasnt yet engaged. My FH and I were serious about getting married and had our date picked out. We checked out 2 places and booked one of them in Sept 2019. There were so many places already booked for October 2020 so I didn’t want to wait til the last minute especially since we’re on a tight budget. We knew we wanted a short engagement, he wanted to finish school, and we were getting through premarital counseling before he proposed. Tbh I just put a ring on my left hand and they just assumed we were already engaged. If you have a budget it’ll help to shop around early, get some prices and think about how soon you want to commit to a venue. Places do book quick!

Im sorry not trying to be judgy but seems crazy. Ive been with my Fiance for 11 years he purposed on our anniversary. I had nothing planned we went with a 2 year engagement so i can enjoy the engagement and plan the wedding. We weren't in a hurry when we already know we want to be together. It seems crazy to me to even be thinking of that when you have all the time in the world to enjoy life.

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My brother and his fiance are having a fast engagement, only 6 months. My fiance and I will be engaged for 1.5 years till our wedding. Both of us were done planning and had everything locked down within a month of being engaged. Both of us are getting married in California.

I would talk with your fiance about this and be open. He should be part of the venue finding for the big day anyways.

I say go for it - it’s better to be prepared and plan ahead!

I'm old fashioned I guess. I did not plan(except for dreaming in my head) or book anything, until we were officially engaged.


We knew after a month of dating that marriage was our goal.To me, it kind of takes the magic out of an engagement, if you feel like you must rush to book a venue before you are engaged.
Just my opinion and my two cents. Forever is a long time, rushing doesn't change that.Just like a perfect venue doesn't change the outcome of your wedding.
The place doesn't matter as much as the fact that I'm marrying my soul mate.❤

Thanks everyone! I feel a lot better about this. Both of our parents are older and a few are not in great health...so we don't have the luxury of having a long engagement in both our opinions. I feel a lot less crazy now!

My whole wedding was planned before my fiance proposed. Not just ideas on a pinterest board planned, but full on payments and contracts type planned. We had 7 months to plan a wedding, the ring wasn't done yet, and he still wanted this to be special for us. So we agreed that I could start planning due to the time restraint. I don't think it is pushy unless you are giving ultimatums and timelines for a proposal. I wouldn't book anything if he is uncomfortable with that, but if he isn't...go crazy. Lol Just communicate your thoughts and start saving up!

View Quoted Comment I think there’s a big difference between rushing into a thing and doing a little pre-planning to ensure that they’re able to get the things they want, especially when there’s a target date. This timeline is still talking about a year + engagement. The flipside is I have friends that were engaged over the holidays that wanted a wedding in this calendar year so were aiming for late fall, but also wanted a specific area and it’s totally booked up for the fall so they ended up with a summer date and now they’re in a whirlwind of planning— so a little pre-planning will actually function to help enjoy their engagement. I definitely agree with the general concept of why rush when you have your whole future together (though to me that’s usually a chord that’s struck when it’s a young couple with a short relationship), but I think there’s a big difference between that and the practicality of planning ahead , when you’ve settled on a general date and don’t want to lose the opportunity for dream venues.

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I do see eye to eye with you but also You truly could be on a different page with your partner than you really know. I was ready to get married i would say 21. He always and kept saying he wanted to too. Always thought i would be married and have at least one child by 25. My fiance and I got into many arguments because i felt like he wasn't ready because he took forever asking. He wanted to wait till we were both financial okay and both done with school. We arent even getting married till a month after my 25th. Life goes unexpected and im now happy he waited until he felt that we both were ready and financially. Before I knew i wanted to marry him and he wanted to marry me but i didnt plan my wedding till we got engaged to sit down and talk about it and plan together. I just feel like booking a venue before is making him feel rushed. If anything than you should purpose to him.

I guess I just dont see it being why it has to be this certain date and this year... Like we got engaged June 2019 and because we finally got accepted on our house two weeks later we decided our wedding on whats going on with our lives now verse months before being engaged. We both agreed July and was either 2020 or 2021 and because two weeks later we bought our house we decided 2021. because of us buying a house. You never know what pops up in life.

This is not at all a matter of if we are ready to get married. We are both very much on the same page. We both want the wedding to be next spring/summer for many reasons, I just wanted opinions on booking a venue before the actual proposal takes place since most people do it the other way around.

View Quoted Comment Good point, thank you! I appreciate the feedback. I want to make sure we get the venue we want without rushing his proposal plan.

View Quoted Comment Totally agree you should be financially stable & personally settled. I get the impression that the OP is and that they have mutually discussed the timeline. If the situation was one sided, I would certainly discourage it— and ive seen those posts on here , like “my guy won’t ask but I am ready can I start booking things?” And that is like “heecckkk no girl, slow down!” ...but when it is We know what We want and when We want it, can We book without a ring to make sure we get it— no biggie.


Timeline wise, it’s different for everyone, and life does pop up. If it was up to us, we would’ve gotten married the same year we got engaged because we didn’t care about a long window there. We had already built our lives together pre-engagement and were settled and secure and just wanted the technicality. We weren’t in a rush, but were excited for the party. Life got in the way, and we were delayed by a year. No big deal, nothing changed for us, but it also wouldn’t have been a crazy rush if we hadn’t delayed for those family health reasons. We were already a family and the ceremony didn’t change that, but, the duration of the engagement didn’t either.
So I agree there’s no reason to rush. But also think there’s no reason to wait (haha), as long as there actually is no reason to wait. And there are PLENTY of great reasons to wait! Money, housing, financial stability, family issues, just needing a little independence, simply needing time to commit, just plain scheduling issues. It’s different for everyone. All that matters is that the couple is on the same page.