Finance's sister

I am not using my soon to be sister in law either. We also don't have much in common and I feel like she might be a bit hurt bcuz fiance nd I have been together for 10 years but I choose my four closest friends/siblings. Luckily she hasn't said much about it but it ultimately is your choice. Good luck!

If you don't want her as a bridesmaid, don't have her. Honestly, asking her and having to deal with her maturity level will be more of a headache then guilt trips.

View Quoted Comment You are so right, and we've only been together three and a half years so I don't quite have the weight of 10 years knowing her

View Quoted Comment Yeah my fiance and I've only been together three and a half years so it's not quite as bad, good luck looks like this is more of an issue than I thought. Makes me feel better I'm not the only one

I don't have any sisters, only a step sister and she isn't going to be my maid of honor or first bridesmaid. My fiance's sister is someone I actually like more. Of course my own family doesn't agree with my choice but it's your wedding and your wedding party. If you don't want her to be your bridesmaid it's your choice. You can be honest, or find a reason to back you up. Say you already have picked your bridesmaids or you want there to be an even wedding party or you don't want more than x amount of Bridesmaids. Either way it's your choice, your day, and they will respect your decision in the end.

View Quoted Comment 👍😍 thanks

Aubrie,

I am in the same exact situation. Things have happened with my one future sister in law & at this point it will be easier to just not have her in our wedding. Except not everyone is understanding that. I've been kind of ignoring the topic, but me and my fiancé agree and that is all that matters

View Quoted Comment That is exactly my situation, I feel like I'm going to get pushed back from my future mother-in-law. But I'm just going to have to Stand My Ground, my brothers aren't a groomsman and they aren't whining about it. She shouldn't just get what she wants with some tears. It's not her wedding she needs to understand

Why didn't fiance have her on his side? She's his sister, after all.

My FH isn't including my brother in his wedding party and I wouldn't ask him to. The two of them are great, among the most beloved people in my life, but couldn't be more different in a lot of ways and my FH feels a little awkward around my brother because he struggles to make conversation happen between the two of them. I would not ask FH to include my brother because the groomsmen are his decision, hopefully your FILs will give you the same respect.

View Quoted Comment They don't get along, like I said she's like a 12 year old in a 26-year old body, he's a grown-ass adult police officer. She still calls him her baby brother for goodness sake

Yeah my fiancé doesn't talk to his sister either. His other sister is a bridesmaid though which is making it tough. & we are asking the sister who we dont talk to daughter to be a flower girl. Guess well see how that goes. But his sister did it to herself. After everything she has said and done i dont even know how she could possible think she was still in my wedding. I'm really close with my future mother in law so it has been very tough. I have just been having my fiance deal with it. We have been engaged since may and I have serious anxiety about this issue daily.

I guess at the end of the day it is what it is and you just have to stand your ground

My FH doesn't have siblings but he grew up really close with his cousin. She expected her kids to be in the wedding (we said no) and she acted like she expected to be asked to be in the wedding party. She is very immature and I don't trust her at all. She's also still very close with FH's ex-fiancee and I am not about to involve myself in any way with that whole mess. I've been told multiple times that he should still be with her and I'm not dealing with that on my wedding day, or any other day for that matter. As far as hearing emotion stuff, we were told that we must not value family if we don't have her and the kids in the wedding, but like my dad always told me, let it roll off your back. Be gentle if you want to keep a relationship with them but stay firm for your sanity's sake.

Doesn’t sound like FMIL is very mature either. Stand your ground girl!

My future sister in law is upset with me for not asking her too. I explained it as nice as I could that I am not having a big wedding party I'm only have 1 bridesmaid and my maid of honor so of course it's going to be my best friends.

View Quoted Comment How did you explain to her, I don't want to dig myself a hole

It's your wedding day your not obligated to have her in your wedding party. You want people who are truly happy for you, people you are close to by your side not someone just cause they are related to the groom.

You are so right, all of you. I just know that if I cave I will regret it and I only get one shot at this

You don't have to have your own sister in the wedding party, this expectation from your FMIL is ridic. Also, from your description-I bet FSIL doesn't like your company that much either She's probably cringing at this too if she knows her mom is trying to make it an issue.