Cassy
Savvy October 2019

Finances after marriage with children from previous marriage

Cassy, on August 1, 2019 at 1:09 PM Posted in Married Life 0 12
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Hi!

Looking for advice on how others have split finances with their spouse when only one spouse comes into the marriage with children.

I have 3 daughters from a previous marriage. I get a small amount of child support a month, $200 a child. I currently pay for all the kids needs, school expenses, clothes, dance classes, most entertainment. But wondering how bills should be split. Should it be 50/50 for our mortgage and utilities?

Thank you for any advice!

12 Comments

  • Kayla
    Savvy October 2020
    Kayla ·
    I have 4 kids and my fh has one but his kid is already grown. We put our money together and pay the bills and then whatever money is left over is for both of us to spend.
  • Kelly
    VIP October 2020
    Kelly ·
    Well I don't have this problem but I will suggest another method you can think about.
    Total up what you and your spouse make a year and see who makes what percentage of the total. Then contribute that percentage towards bills.
    So if you make 40% of the income you'd pay 40% of the bills. It's an unusual way to go about it but it's an option.
  • Caytlyn
    Champion November 2019
    Caytlyn ·

    You should do whatever works for the two of you. There is no right or wrong. You need to have a very open and honest conversation about finances and how you feel comfortable handling them, include a counselor if you feel uncomfortable. There are so many factors; current income, savings, debt, etc. No two couples do things the same.

  • K
    Beginner October 2019
    Kimberly ·

    My fiance and I have bought a house 3 years ago and after 6 months put our money in the same bank account. There is no "mine" or "yours"...its OURS.

  • Cassy
    Savvy October 2019
    Cassy ·
    View Quoted Comment

    Hi! Yeah, we are planning to sit down and talk about it and figure it out. I'm just trying to get some ideas of what some people do in the situation. Thank you!!

  • Cassy
    Savvy October 2019
    Cassy ·
    View Quoted Comment

    I agree. Thank you!

  • Cassy
    Savvy October 2019
    Cassy ·
    View Quoted Comment

    I actually did find a calculator that does just this. If we continue to split out income, I think this is a good compromise.

  • Cassy
    Savvy October 2019
    Cassy ·
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you for the insight!

  • Jessica
    VIP September 2020
    Jessica ·
    I don’t think there’s a right or wrong way to do it, but to me he’s not just marrying you, your kids come with you. Early in our relationship we split things, not 50:50 because he had a bigger income than I did, but we agreed who would cover what. After a while we decided that wasn’t working for us and just combined everything, we viewed every dollar earned as our combined resources. He would spend money on stuff he needed, going out with friends, etc, and so would I. We set a threshold we were both comfortable with and expenses over that required discussion, otherwise we are partners and working toward the same ultimate goals. I’m currently not working, having just finished my degree and staying home with our kids, but we still have the same mindset- it’s our money even if he’s the one bringing it in because what I do for the family is just as important. Different couples manage finances differently, you two will have to decide what works best for you to accomplish your goals.
  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·

    Once you are married those become his daughters too. So I'm not sure why y'all wouldn't just split everything as normal. Me and my husband combined all of our finances, and get a weekly allowance for spending. The rest of our money goes to bills, house, kids, etc.

  • Erin
    Super April 2021
    Erin ·
    My FH and I joined our bank accounts (he joked it’s so he can’t run away). But it takes the stress out of covering the bills for our daughter. We won’t be living together until December, and we have a 2 year old. It’s a lot easier to just go to the store and buy diapers than argue over whose turn it is to pay for them.
  • Future Mrs. Polar Bear
    Super April 2019
    Future Mrs. Polar Bear ·

    This is just my opinion and everyone has their own, but personally, once you are married nothing is split. What yours is his and what's his is yours. You have a bill that's $500? Great, now he does too.

    In our minds we are married, we are one. Our finances are each others finances. We married all of us not just pieces of us. When he married he took on your children as step children, so he takes on the financial burden as well as a father ally burden as well.

    Good luck.

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