Fighting Fair

Respect is definitely important! One thing that we have learned to do is leave the past in the past, it’s not fair to constantly bring up past hurts that you’ve already worked through. We also try to explain the way we are feeling rather than make accusations, “I feel _____ when ____” rather than “you never _____” or whatever. Lastly, we do our best not to let things fester and to tell each other when something is bothering us so it doesn’t escalate into a fight.

We break apart. Cool off, then we come back together and listen to each other. I know it sounds stupid but we hold a heart in our hands, when we want to say something that’s on our heart/mind. We also have agreed not to say anything until we give to heart to the opposite person. That way we listen without speaking.

View Quoted Comment Omg I agree. I hate when I husband says " you never ..." Or "you always..."

View Quoted Comment Waiting until cooler heads prevail is always helpful.

View Quoted Comment Most definitely!!!

Respect giving each other space to think of how we want to say and phrase things. Is huge with us.

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I think having the time and space to get your thoughts together could eliminate a lot of problems in a marriage.

I tell my husband that it's about hearing each other out and never attacking one another. We are adults so we are capable of clearly stating what we feel, how we feel, why we feel it, what we want, etc. We are capable of coming to a solution together. I told him I will never attack him just because. It's immature to attack one another and do low blows when that won't get you anywhere