Fiancé's Sister

I would only choose people you are ALREADY really close with, not people you feel an obligation for or are trying to fix or create a new relationship. People can hint but you don't have to take the hints. Your finance can have their sister stand on their side.

Your fiance's sister does not get to decide who you include in your wedding party. If you didn't plan on including her, don't include her. Your fiance can have her stand on his side if he wants to include her. Only those who you are closest to should be in your wedding party. Don't choose anyone out of feeling obligated, or because someone else wants you to include them, or because they asked you to be in their wedding party, etc.

View Quoted Comment I agree that your fiancé can make her a groomswoman. Or you can just say that you won’t choose your bridal party until 6 months out, as is often recommended here.

Ultimately it’s up to you. I don’t know the back story of y’all’s relationship but you could use this as a way to help build y’all’s relationship. But only is that’s what you want. At the end of the day this girl will be a big part of your wedding experience if you ask her. So think about what’s best for you

She should stand on his side

Yep she should stand with him!

Definitely up to you, but she doesn't have to be in the bridal party just because she's family.

So, I do agree with the others - there's no obligation to have her if you don't want!

But, for context, and to provide a different point of view...

I asked my SIL to be my bridesmaid - my fiance has 2 brothers, 1 sister, and I have 1 sister, so it worked out really well for each of us to just have siblings (both of us were kind of dreading how/who to include, and being able to say 'oh, we're just having siblings' made things so much easier.)

I'd also say that we have definitely become closer, and I am so glad I asked her, because she has been an angel throughout planning whereas my own sister has not been the easiest. That said, I didn't have a difficult relationship with her to start with - she's always been lovely, but we just weren't particularly close.

If your relationship has been in any way painful, and you think she's likely to make this process harder, then definitely don't do it!

But, I am really grateful to my SIL, and it feels really nice to include her, and I do hope this makes us even closer by the time the day rolls around.

Is fiancé’s sister your BFF? If not, then don’t ask her. Your bridesmaids should be your closest supportive inner circle and if you don’t have a great relationship, ann tension will show. Let her enjoy herself without responsibility beyond having fun.

You are not obligated to have her stand on your side, BUT if they both feel so strongly...she can stand on his side

Lol sooooooo I was in the same boat you are in. My FSIL and I are NOW very close but we didn’t have the best relationship before. Just one of those incidents where she is used to her brother dropping everything for her or just being able to be in his business 24/7. After my son was born (about a year after our crazy roller coaster ride of ups and downs), we were able to talk out our differences and really get to the bottom of things (her brother has his own life and she needs to butt out). After that, honestly our relationship got better. Now we are BFFs lol.


But, to answer your question, you should put her in the bridal party only if you want to. Your fiancé and his sister should support your decision either way. Even if you don’t make her a bridesmaid, maybe she can do something for your fiancé instead!

So this may be the unpopular choice, but I put my FSIL in the bridal party to appease my FMIL. This was a “fight” not worth dealing with so we put FSIL as a bridesmaid and FBIL as a groomsmen, then paired them together. I can’t imagine the drama that would’ve ensued if we had excluded his siblings! If you guys get along okay and the numbers work out it might not be that bad to include her, but totally depends on your situation!

Could go one of two ways: she could make the whole process miserable and not be helpful at all.. or it could build a bridge between the two of you that could last a lifetime. Only you know her and your history with her well enough to make that call!

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I completely agree with this! I think if you do decide to ask her it would be a good idea to know what your expectations of her are in terms of what you believe your bridesmaids should be doing/helping with. There have been so many posts on here about people who asked out of obligation not having a good experience because the people they needed to ask wasn't on the same page. Only you know your relationship and know the type of person she is. If you believe it could be an experience where you two are able to connect a bit and have a good time then ask her. If you think certain things would push the two of you further apart then I'd say tell your FH that she can stand on his side if it's that important for her to be in the wedding.

I did ask my FSIL to be in my bridal party, but it was for a couple of reasons. So first, I have one brother and he has one sister so it made some sense for us just to include the other's sibling on our side. Plus, I get along with his sister and he gets along with my brother so we already know that we won't be worrying about relationship strains. We also wanted her kids in our wedding and it felt weird asking if they could be in it but not her lol.

It’s your wedding. You do what you want girl. If your fiancé wants her in the wedding that bad she can stand on his side.

I would just suck it up and let her be a bridesmaid unless you’ve had some real issues in the past. If you’re just not that close, i don’t see why not. It’s more of a respect thing in my opinion, like you’re about to be family and it’s nice to have everyone involved

So this is up to you but i put her at his side or she can meby be you're flower girl (just fvi i have no problem with mine but then she still be in the party but i defiantly think on the brothers side for you) i had the same problem with my fiancées brother but lucky for me we resolve the problems and he is now my ring bearer and in Danish traditions that's is one of the best things you can be in a wedding to me if i could i have my own brother do it sadly he lives in Denmark so this is gonna be a symbol of me the brother and trusting him to keep the (promise) rings safe

so if you resolve the problem or at least try to it can be awesome and the brother is still on the male side but are now sitting at the main table and i think in future we can become good friends

Honestly don’t. If you don’t want her don’t include her I’m seriously regretting some decisions I’ve made.

I did this for the simple fact I knew it would make their entire family feel good and now we're three weeks away and I regret it. She has done nothing to help, won't communicate with my other bridesmaids and has missed everything I have planned for us (including almost the entire bachelorette party). I think she thinks because she is his sister that her spot is saved regardless, which sucks because there isn't much I can do about it now with only a few weeks away.

If you aren't close, I'd recommend not having her as a bridesmaid. If your fiancé wants her up there, she can walk as a grooms-woman.