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Mackenzie
Just Said Yes May 2021

Fiance's Friend Staying with Us After Wedding

Mackenzie, on October 4, 2020 at 8:50 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 23
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My fiance's friend and bestman is flying in for our wedding. My fiance told me that even after the wedding the friend will be staying a few days with us. This bugs me because it is the very start and first days of our marriage, and we'll never get those days back, so I definitely don't want to spend them sharing my time with someone else. With that said, I really don't want his friend to be staying with us right after the wedding. My fiance doesn't agree with me. Am I overreacting?

23 Comments

Latest activity by Adrienne, on October 5, 2020 at 6:13 PM
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
    • Flag
    I think staying is okay if he does his own thing or understand that two will be. Now staying and being with you guys the whole time I would personally have a problem with!
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    I don't see an issue with it as long as he's doing his own thing. Do you currently not live with your fiancé?
    • Reply
  • Apryl
    Dedicated March 2022
    Apryl ·
    • Flag
    I don't think you're overreacting. Maybe there's some compromise where the friend can entertain himself while y'all are in your honeymoon period
    • Reply
  • Kimberly
    Super March 2021
    Kimberly ·
    • Flag
    Why can’t he stay in a hotel? If the money is an issue I’d offer to pay for the hotel for him. I don’t think you are overreacting at all. I wouldn’t be happy with the arrangement either.
    • Reply
  • C
    Master January 2019
    Cassidy ·
    • Flag
    I would not be ok with this either, even if he did his own thing during the day while you had time with hubby.
    Your husband is still going to want to hang out with the friend and the friend will still be there at night. I think your right to want to enjoy those first few days with your new spouse. The days following my wedding are some of my favorite and i am so thankful we got that time to be together and alone.
    • Reply
  • MLS
    Dedicated September 2021
    MLS ·
    • Flag
    I don't think you're overreacting. I would front the money to put him up in a hotel. A gift for being in the wedding. I wouldn't be okay with it.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar April 2021
    Michelle Online ·
    • Flag
    I definitely don’t think you’re overreacting- I would so NOT be ok with this. This is your first couple of days as being a married couple, who wants a 3rd wheel around??
    • Reply
  • Jai Butcher
    Rockstar May 2020
    Jai Butcher ·
    • Flag
    I agree with you. His best man can stay in a hotel or air bnb. We didnt have anyone stay with us and I wouldn't be comfortable with that. He can stay with you guys another time
    • Reply
  • Emily
    Expert September 2020
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    For me, depends on which of his friends. 😂 There's one that wasn't even in the original guest list, whereas there's others that are our dear friends - and I think there has to be a root cause beyond convenience for the friend. Maybe see if something else is up, and if not then really piece out what is bothering you so you can try expressing it to your partner. Good luck!
    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Rockstar July 2019
    Hannah ·
    • Flag
    That would be a no for me. I agree with everyone else that you want to spend those days after the wedding alone as a newly married couple. Also, my husband and I are a bit more on the introverted side, so this may not be the case for you. But, we were so drained by the end of the weekend (rehearsal dinner Friday, wedding Saturday, and breakfast in the hotel with some people who happened to be there at the same time) that we were both just....done with people for a few days. We adore our friends and family but so many cumulative hours of being the center of attention was just draining and we needed to recharge lol. I would not have had it in me to host someone in my home afterward.
    • Reply
  • Jr
    Dedicated November 2020
    Jr ·
    • Flag
    Why cant he stay with someone else?
    • Reply
  • L
    Expert September 2020
    ·
    • Flag
    Ummm no I would not want this either. He can get a hotel.
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Rockstar August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    I would not be ok with this at all.

    Who thinks it's a good idea to crash with the newlyweds??

    • Reply
  • B
    Super July 2017
    Becky ·
    • Flag

    That's a hard no. All of our guests came from out of town - some of them driving 12 hours - and all of them left the day after the wedding after staying in their own hotel rooms. It is inappropriate for him to think this is okay, and your FH is wrong.

    • Reply
  • Annika
    Expert November 2020
    Annika ·
    • Flag

    My bridesmaid is staying with us before and after the wedding because she cannot afford a hotel, however my FH and I will be staying at a hotel for two nights after the wedding (for our mini-moon) to have our alone time. Maybe this is the compromise you could suggest with your FS, then the friend isn't put out, your FS can still spend some time with said friend after a couple days alone with you, and you get some alone time with your new spouse! I may be biased since my Fh and I already live together but I don't feel like it would be rude to allow your friend to stay at your home as long as they know that they aren't your priority? Does that make sense?

    • Reply
  • Nadia
    Just Said Yes November 2020
    Nadia ·
    • Flag
    The friend should know how inappropriate this is. Just pure classless. I’d tell your fiancé you two are going to stay at a hotel so the friend who for whatever reason is butting in on your beginning, can have the house. Maybe then he’ll get the memo and offer not to stay. It snds like a necessary life lesson for this friend as well. I can’t believe how some People are sooooo inconsiderate!
    • Reply
  • Margaret
    Master October 2020
    Margaret ·
    • Flag

    Does it suck, yes. But is it going to ruin your newly married days, no. This is a minor hiccup in the grand scheme of things. I just found out yesterday my FH is planning on a fishing trip with his son, and 2 brothers on the day after our wedding because we will all still be at our familymoon resort. I was a little irked, but you know what, I have the rest of my life to enjoy, what's a little inconvenience.

    • Reply
  • Katie
    Expert January 2021
    Katie ·
    • Flag

    I would not be okay with this. If he wants to stay in town after the wedding, he likely knows other people in that town that he can stay with. If you can afford to offer a hotel for him, that's very generous but totally unnecessary. I think it's right to have him stay before the wedding but after... he needs to get out.

    • Reply
  • Soon To Be Mrs. Stewart
    Devoted August 2022
    Soon To Be Mrs. Stewart ·
    • Flag

    Yeah I don't think your over reacting at all, I would feel the same way. I would want to spend the days after my wedding alone with my husband and him only.

    • Reply
  • Tonilynn
    Dedicated September 2020
    Tonilynn ·
    • Flag
    I told mine the same thing about his cousin and his cousin tried again to weesle his way back in to the point where he asked to stay the night of our wedding at our villa... that was a solid no thankfully bc we didn’t have room in the car to drive him back 4 hrs with us the day we left the resort so he had no choice but to stay with my sister inlaw and come back with her not us. The day we got home he texted me in which I ignored asking if we were home. I simply explained to my husband this was OUR honeymoon. His cousin then texted my husband who than texted him back and told him he was spending time with me for our honeymoon so he could not stay with us. He did invite him for dinner one night but was clear just for dinner not to stay.
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