Fiancee vs wife

I got my court legal documents almost a month before my actual wedding. We also kept it a secret and I was afraid I’ll feel what you’re feeling now so I tried seeing it as just a paper and nothing else. We did not call each other husband and wife after that day and it felt pretty normal because I wanted to be like that. I only felt like a wife the moment I said I do at our actual wedding ceremony. Difference is I had time to prepare for that moment, to process and it was only a month before the wedding not a whole year. In the end I think is all up to how you see it and how you want to program your mind.

I would think being a wife is more special than a fiancé. While it’s completely your right to keep the legality a secret, I don’t know if I would be able to keep it for a year. I also don’t think it’s plausible that no one would spill the beans beforehand since you had six witnesses. Furthermore, if you needed to marry to travel, someone’s bound to figure it out. I’m not judging either way, and you should do whatever makes you and your now husband the happiest, but I do think you should consider the probability of keeping the legal ceremony a secret vs your guests finding out otherwise and getting upset or angry. Congratulations on your marriage.

You really shouldn't deceive your guests. Since you are already married, your "wedding" would actually be a vow renewal rather than a wedding. You can still have a traditional ceremony and reception, but please don't lie to your guests. People talk and someone is bound to tell others that you guys are already legally married. I know I would be upset if I wasn't told the truth.

Only thing that will change for me is my last name to his n I'll have a paper that says I'm married.


Life will go on I'll still be here doing the same stuff I've been doing for years and etc only thing that'll change is I'll be his wife..

Perhaps this is counter-cultural, but my fiance and I wanted as short of an engagement as possible. Aside from the first week or so of being engaged, it's mostly the same as dating - but with the added stress of planning a wedding. Your journey is unique to you, and you shouldn't think less of it just because it's different than other people's journeys. You also shouldn't feel any shame by your decision; the people in your life who know and love you will support you in your decision. They may have an initial emotional reaction to it, but give them time and they'll settle down.

Some of the greatest married couples I know were only engaged for a few weeks! Being a fiance is special, but being a wife is far, far more important than being a fiance.

You feel like a wife because you are one. It's not just a piece of paper, it's all those little legalities and additional responsibilities towards your spouse once you seal the deal. If something happens to you, legally, your husband is responsible for making decisions on your behalf and vice versa. Legally you have to file taxes as married. Now I'm not sure what your belief system entails but most religions also carry that extra weight of fiance vs. wife.

I know I felt a shift in our atmosphere after we were married. One of the reasons why we kept our engagement short was because we placed a high emphasis on the marriage and not the party. We dated with the end goal of being married. Because of our religious beliefs we didn't live like we were married prior to actually being married. I think that cultural shift we've had in the last couple decades has really blurred the lines of marriage and has turned it into all about the party. I think it's a lot more than that. Being in a marriage is special. It's a covenant.