Fiancé Wants To Cancel Our Wedding

I don’t think you’re being irrational but I can understand him not wanting a wedding when he feels he can’t financially contribute. Is his inability to contribute temporary (still in school, out of a job due to COVID)? Perhaps postponing for 1-2 years to allow him to get back on his feet? He may also be worried about being able to help support both of you too, and throwing a wedding on top might be stressing him out.


My husband is on temporary unemployment right now and even though I’m making a lot more money than he planned when doing our budget last year, he’s insisting this will delay us moving/buying a house for another 1-2 years! Ugh. It’s pointless for me to bring it up until he goes back to work and reruns the numbers.

Definitely not irrational but I don't blame him for feeling the way he does. I am not working right now and I feel so lame. Despite the ability to cover all my personal bills, I still feel like I am failing to contribute to the household.


I think you just need to sit down and have a talk. Show him the cost of all the deposits you have already put down. Let it be known that if you change your mind, that money is most likely gone. Also remind him that his circumstances are not because he is lazy, but there is a pandemic going on. His inability to contribute is not his fault. Part of a marriage is that you help pick up when needed, and vice versa. It sounds like you know this but he may need to be reminded. My guess is, he is also probably depressed to some extent so make sure you know how to communicate this without a fight. I think you can handle this by a really deep and supportive conversation.

I don't think you're irrational because sometimes losing money already invested is just as bad. but i can see his worries here. it sounds like he's worried that the funds needed for the remainder of the wedding may be something he doesn't have. maybe talk to him and run some numbers by him for scenarios such as if you scaled the reception down to x amount of people how much would it cost and would that be more doable for him financially?

It's not being irrational at all, but I understand his point of view too. I think the best thing to do as pp have mentioned is to sit down and talk it out. Talk with your vendors. I wouldn't worry so much about the time lost that was invested into planning your event. I'd be more concerned about the mental well-being of your FH. I know that I'd probably feel the same way if I were in his shoes.

Talk it out, be open and honest and most importantly, LISTEN to his concerns and feelings. And hopefully he does the same in return. It will all work out.

You're definitely not being irrational Chelsea, but both of your feelings are valid! You two definitely need to be on the same page for your wedding plans so I think you should talk more and listen to each other's concerns and feelings! I agree with everyone that laying out existing costs that have already been paid and the remaining costs could be helpful.

I also want to second everything that Jennifer said!! 🙌 These are INSANE circumstances that we are all living through right now and so many people are unemployed through ZERO fault of their own. It definitely sounds like he needs to hear that again!

View Quoted Comment Yes ! All of the COVID-19 has everything financially out of whack... but I appreciate your input !

View Quoted Comment I absolutely agree maybe a convo can solve this, thank you for your input!

View Quoted Comment Yes! I am down sizing and changing a whoooole lot in order to save and still not loose! Thx for your input !

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your input! Fingers crossed This will go great