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Ceelie
Expert August 2019

Fiancé wants a motorcycle...

Ceelie , on May 12, 2019 at 6:24 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 15
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My fiancé has been talking about buying a motorcycle nonstop the past few weeks. We are 3 months away from our wedding and moving in together. With the honeymoon, wedding, and deposits for the apartment to pay for I don’t see how this is a good idea right now. I understand it’s cheaper than a car, but he wants to keep his car, so he’ll have two vehicle payments. So this wouldn’t be “saving” us any money.. there are things I’ve wanted to buy but held back knowing we have more important things to worry about. Obviously I feel bad if I put my foot down and ask him to wait until next spring when we’re settled, because I know he really wants it. But over the course of 3 months he’s bought a gun, a bow, and now wants a motorcycle. How do I know he’s not gonna want another expensive toy after this one? I feel like he’s just going to get bored of it after a few months and move on to the next thing. On top of that, I’ll probably be put on the back burner because he’ll be so obsessed with this thing. It’s also dangerous and I’m terrified. I dunno. I’m just torn.. I want him to be happy, I really do, but this doesn’t sit well with me. Advice?

15 Comments

Latest activity by Allie, on May 13, 2019 at 5:47 PM
  • Formerbride
    VIP June 2019
    Formerbride ·
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    I think all you can do is communicate that you're worried about your finances as a couple and his safety. I don't see the harm in asking him to wait for a little while.
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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    I agree with Steph. Also, it may be a good idea for you two to have an in-depth talk about finances in general. This is the biggest point of contention between couples and one of the biggest reasons for divorce. Have you guys discussed a plan for finances? Will you keep separate money? Do you have a cut-off point where any purchase over x amount needs joint approval? This seems like it's a but deeper of an issue than specifically wanting to buy a motorcycle.
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  • Ashley
    Dedicated August 2019
    Ashley ·
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    Lol its only dangerous if he doesnt know what hes doing. Does he have his motorcycle permit or license yet? We have a motorcycle. I love it. We go on rides all the time, it's a fun way to relax together. Make sure he gets you a backrest lol and my FH has bought hmmm..
    About 3 or 4 vehicles since our engagement and were only 110 days out. We like buying vehicles.. plus on top of all that were in the middle of a complete house remodel.. just try and relax.. if I can do it, anyone can.
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  • Christina
    Dedicated July 2019
    Christina ·
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    My fiancé LOVED riding but 2 months ago he got hit right down the road from our home and is now casted on both his arms... Not trying to scare you more but you have every right to be terrified of those things and I definitely think you should express those feelings to him. In regards to finances, you should really have a sit-down conversation. You definitely don’t want to start your marriage with financial issues. I agree with what Hannah said.
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  • Hailey
    Savvy October 2019
    Hailey ·
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    My fiancé bought a motorcycle after we had just bought a house, and got engaged. Honestly I love it, we have so much fun and it’s a nice stress free activity we can do together. He is so happy riding it honestly makes me happy. I think you shouldn’t take it completely off the table but maybe wait until some of the big stuff is paid for? It’s definitely worth it!
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  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    Being able to discuss finances is essential for a marriage. I would just sit down and talk about the reality of wedding spending and ask if he is able to wait until you’re financially settled for this level of discretionary spending— not a matter of can or can’t, just a matter of *when*



    ....hah but also in the meantime you can spam
    him with motorcycle safety details Smiley winking
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  • Susan
    Expert August 2019
    Susan ·
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    We are 96 days out and my fiancée just bought another bike last Thursday. We love riding together, and plus he looks so hot on his bike. 😉

    That being said, it was a financial decision that we made together. You should absolutely sit down and have a conversation with FH about it especially if you’re that concerned for multiple reasons.
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  • D
    Super July 2020
    D ·
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    If he wants it so bad now then he'll want it as bad later. You mentioned taking on the payments were a concern to you with everything coming up. If it were me I wouldn't take on any more debt than necessary or wanted 😊 until after the wedding or even securing the apartment.
    Me and mine both have cars that are 10+ years but unless we HAVE to buy a new car we plan on waiting. We are saving for the wedding and house hunting. Even though taking on a payment or two is affordable we want to start both ventures debt free. Especially when renting or buying they look at loans and payments for things like motorcycles.
    Ride into the sunset as Mr and Mrs.
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  • Ceelie
    Expert August 2019
    Ceelie ·
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    Haha yeah it’s not something I was gonna completely say no to, because of course I want him to be happy! I just figured it’d be more ideal after we’re settled. But maybe I’ll just let him do it and call it a day haha thinking about stressing over it just hurts my head
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  • Mandi
    Master October 2020
    Mandi ·
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    Absolutely speak up. This is a financial decision and it needs to be made together.
    Also, if he bought a gun and a bow, I can only guess you're in the country, and motorcycles plus deer are a terrible combo. I understand your worry.
    My fiance and I had to have the no new car for a while talk recently ourselves. He is going to need one, but we are in the middle of purchasing a house, so a big purchase like that could really mess that up for us.
    I asked him to start saving and see if he could wait til after the honeymoon, maybe even after his large credit card bill is paid off.
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  • Autumn
    Dedicated September 2019
    Autumn ·
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    Like everyone said definitely need to talk to him. Personally I am very open about finances and have been talking to my fiancé about them for a very long time. And after he went out with his guy friends and randomly ended up buying a $700 gun when he was supposed to saving for a new car, we had a talk about impulse buying lol. Both of us aren’t allowed to make any big purchases without discussing with the other first. That could be a good place to start.
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  • Lexi
    Dedicated August 2020
    Lexi ·
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    I would sit down with him about finances. That way you both are on the same page about money. One idea the my FMIL (who is very amazing with money) gave us when we got engaged is to have 3 accounts. 1 for each person and then a joint. A majority gets deposited into the joint for things like bills, savings, etc and then a small amount gets put in the other accounts.If one of you wants to buy some thing big (ie. a motorcycle) and the payment will be more then whats in your personal account then it needs to be passed by the other person. This method of spending might be good if your FH loves to shop. And as far as motorcycles being dangerous, they are but to ride one in most states you have to go through a class to ride one. My FH has one and he loves it! But he had to go through a class. I was petrofied for a long time of him getting hurt but some how he convinced me. I ride with him every now and again. If he is dead set on getting one, id just make sure he takes a class and then give him time to get comfortable with the bike. Everything will be okay Smiley smile

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  • Emly
    Expert June 2020
    Emly ·
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    My Fiance literally just did the same thing LOL! We both love riding, its just a part of our relationship so I let it happen. Do I wish he would have waited until after the wedding, of course, but I thought hey this is his last big purchase before hes locked down, why not ;D. If you want to talk him down just tell him how you feel and tell him you would feel better if he saved for at least six months so it wont be such a shock to your budget.

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  • Kimber
    Devoted June 2020
    Kimber ·
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    Suggest he take a license course first. He may not like it. Also, used motorcycles can be very affordable. I got mine and all the gear I needed for about $2,400, because I set a budget for myself. FS and I both want another motorcycle (a Ural, they are so cool), but are waiting until after the wedding. Ask him to put together a budget to see if it would fit in your finances right now. Definitely agree with other posters that finances are such an important part of marriage that you both have to feel comfortable with big purchases that will affect both of you. Best wishes!

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  • Allie
    Master August 2019
    Allie ·
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    You guys just need to have a discussion about finances. My FH is always talking about what things he wants to buy. I just remind him anything is fair game after the wedding. We have agreed not to make any big purchases until after the wedding. Especially now that we are buying a house this month. He understands.

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