Fiancé wants a bigger and more posh wedding... Than I do

Compromise? I wanted a much smaller wedding and I have a HUGE extended family. My fiance has a much smaller grouping but they're all super close. We compromised...instead of the all out "invite ALL THE PEOPLE" weddings that he was looking into...I found a venue that won't allow more than a hundred and ten and we're inviting 90. Still more than I wanted, but it's mostly family anyways.

You may need to meet in the middle somewhere with your fiance. You could do what we did, also. We knew we could only accommodate around 100 people at our wedding. That even cut out some family. My FH's family friends ended up planning an engagement party and that's going to allow more people. It's better than not inviting them to anything, in my opinion.

You will ruffle some feathers no matter WHAT you do, big or small. It's you and your FH that need to be happy and comfortable with what you are doing.

Even if we were brimming with wealth I still wouldn't want a large wedding. I really like the idea of small, private and elegant. I am not the kind of person who needs to impress others, I just want the day to be special for those who

Are invited, as well as to us. I feel like he wants all his distant friends there and so forth, and I don't know what to do. It seems like such a waste of money:/. I want him to be happy but I also need to be content with wedding as well-

Those are good ideas (finding smaller venues). Thank you, I think u are right about the ruffling some feathers, unavoidable thank you i needed that bc I have just been really worried about offending people :/. Which I may just have to get over and do my best-

It was the same with FH and me.... He wanted a "nice" wedding with everybody there, I wanted to fly to Maui and get married on some cliff or beach. Well, I decided to give in because I noticed that he would get upset about me suggesting to elope, and I came to the conclusion that this is really important to him. I am ok either way Its not like I am not getting to marry him anyways

Same situation here. I wanted to marry him more than fight so in exchange for the big wedding, I got my wish to get married in my hometown.

Miss s. I feel the same way--- I am trying to figure out who this is more important to, or if it means more to him than me... If it means THAT much to him it's gonna be a financial compromise... So not sure to give in

I am the same as you, but my fiancé loves big wedding and has a very set idea on what he wants. At first we went back and forth about it, but ultimately he cares more about the wedding than I do, so I am letting him have what he wants. In the end it may not be what I would have done, but it will be amazing because it is his dream. Also I didn't realize how much fun it is to have a big wedding. I did not want a bridal party, but he did, so now I have an MOH and two bridesmaids. Going shopping with them and planning has been a lot of fun I would have missed out on. I am also very practical like you and think it is a crazy amount of money for one day, but if you really look at it is not just one day. It is all the planning, conversations and excitement you get to share over the next year with the people you love, which I think is half the fun. Best of luck to you!

Compromise. You must compromise. That means that you might have a bigger wedding than you wanted, but he would have a smaller one than he wanted.

If you can't compromise, then don't get married.

I can relate sort of. I want to elope so that I don't have to have the small wedding he wants. He has less people to invite to this small wedding, I have lot more aunts and uncles, he has two aunts that he would want to have there, so I would have to invite all of mine, plus I have twice as many first tier close friends than he does, so this small wedding is big enough that we would still have to pay for things like a DJ that costs the same no matter the size...and if we want a small real wedding I really want the dancing. Because he has fewer important people or must be there people than I have, I would rather just eliminate those decisions altogether and elope, but he doesn't want to elope. We are still trying to figure it all out. I've been doing the pricing of things so once I show him that he may change his mind on just eloping. Lol.

Compromise. Invite those you are closest to or stop at first cousins across the board. Find a venue that is small but beautiful. You can have a super posh, but smaller wedding. Do what feels comfortable to you both.

FH had to do some compromising of his own because he wanted a small beach wedding, but his family made up 130 people on the guest list (first cousins only) and he knew he would hurt a lot of feelings if he invited only certain people. I let him work it out when I showed him guest list numbers and venue prices.

You never know, the huge family you may think will all attend may not. We started with 130 on his side and our final number is 135, total. Lots of declines, it's great!

I'm with you on having a DW wedding that is small and intimate. We should have done that.

My hubby and I wanted it to be small. His brother and sister in law were our witnesses and then we through a party a week later. Since everyone loves a party we supplied sheet cakes, and the rest was pot luck for the afternoon. No Keg, no alcohol were served, unless they brought there own bottle. It was very nice. The first 1/2 hour I dressed as the bride, then I changed into comfortable clothes.

DW's are very nice and only those who really want to be there, will be. Good luck on your final choice.

Be Blessed!

Cindy

revcindylee.com

OhioWeddingOfficiants.com

I'd talk this over with FH again, and instead of saying "This is the wedding I want" try saying "these are the components I want"-- intmacy, saving money, whatever. That may bring you closer to a compromise. Also, have you considered doing a semi-destination, as in-- some place far enough to discourage casual friends but close enough that serious friends and family would be sure to be able to make it-- I was think someone a 2 or three hour trip would thin people out considerably. Also, what does your budget allow? That might decide what kind of wedding you get, right there.

I agree compromise meet in the middle he wants large you want small do a medium one. Most importantly enjoy the day!!!!

I originally wanted what you do...small, intimate, a destination that would weed out the extras. He of course wanted big and fun. We compromised on a smallish wedding in wine country...still a destination of at least 3 hours or more for most guests. We are inviting 105 (no kids except bridal party or siblings of) and I think maybe 85-90 will show. If it's less he's ok with it. International travel was out from the get go (his grandma can't make the flight) and my idea to elope/honeymoon and then do a cocktail reception was vetoed as well. What can I say I'm marrying a romantic that wants to share our love with as many friends...as I will let him lol!