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Jenna
Just Said Yes July 2021

Fiance thinks wedding planner is not worth it?!

Jenna, on March 6, 2020 at 12:17 PM Posted in Planning 0 18

Hi all, Looking for some guidance!

In summary, my Fiance thinks that a wedding planner is going to "nickel and dime us" and will end up making our wedding cost more than it would then if we (aka ME) planned it on our own. (He is on board if it will take stress off me, but he is in negotiations for work so he has an *interesting* perspective on wedding planners)


We are just starting to plan our wedding. We live in Minneapolis and are planning a destination wedding, most likely in Park City. I have already spent hours researching potential venues, locations, etc. and feeling overwhelmed (especially without being local) on where to begin planning! I found an amazing full service wedding planner who will help us plan for $3K (flat fee, not hourly or project based). Our budget is $25K (for a more intimate wedding of around 50 people), so this is a decent chunk of our budget.


My question for you is: is a wedding planner worth it? My fiance's perspective is that a wedding planner only has relationships with more "high-end" vendors, and is ultimately going to make us go over budget by "convincing us" to use the more expensive vendors because she gets a cut/commission from them. I feel that part of a wedding planner's job is to help keep us in line on budget, and she is fully aware of what our budget is. Anyone have perspective on this?


Thank you!!!

18 Comments

Latest activity by null, on March 9, 2020 at 11:19 AM
  • N
    Master January 2015
    null ·
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    I think 3k out of 25k budget would be worth having a wedding planner, especially since you're having a destination wedding. But at the end of the day, you and your fiancé will have to agree on this one way or the other. You are right though, a large part of a wedding planner's duties is to plan a wedding within your budget. Best of luck!

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  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
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    So a wedding planner won’t save you money but to me my time was worth something. It also took a lot of stress off of me! Wedding planners don’t usually get a commission from vendors so I would tell your fiancé not to worry about that.
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  • Katie
    Expert January 2021
    Katie ·
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    Have any of the venues you looked at had a coordinator? Our situations are nearly identical: destination wedding, similar size and budget. The venue we found includes a coordinator who has been AMAZING in helping with everything else. She's super responsive (most important to me!) and has vendors she regularly works with. I'd try to go that route, we're pretty much done planning 2 months in.

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  • M
    VIP October 2021
    Monica ·
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    I wanted a wedding planner because I wanted an all inclusive venue but FH said no and didn’t like the price. We are saving about $5k or more not going all inclusive which is good but we still spent more than we thought we would save. I planned the whole wedding myself. I am organized and Im a Superb decorator. I usually am great at executing my vision. Planning myself has allowed me to do whatever I want decoration wise. It takes time and researching to plan. Its not like its not doable it definitely is. If you can set aside time to figure out what you want to do any your options for everything then save the money & do it yourself. Make excel spreadsheets, make checklists, set deadlines, organize your time based on tasks and you will be ok. Spend the money on a Day Of Coordinator thats where you need it the most.
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  • Shelby
    Expert November 2020
    Shelby ·
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    My venue is all inclusive, which also includes the coordinator! I think for me it has been so worth it because the venue/coordinator has all the main things I would need to worry about but now don’t have to. All I do is let her know when I’ve made a payment lol.
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I didn’t get a wedding planner. I still went over my budget anyway AHAH but I do kind of agree you guys could do it all yourselves for cheaper but as pp have mentioned it would take a lot of your time
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  • Jenna
    Just Said Yes July 2021
    Jenna ·
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    Thanks Amber! I totally agree - I think it would be worth every penny for the stress I already know it will save me from. ;-) Ultimately he is on board (because he knows it will save me time + stress) but I want to make sure he feels confident that that $3k is going to a good place!

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  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    My suggestion would be to possibly find a venue that provides wedding planner and day of coordinator. My wedding venue provides this free of charge. If you fall in love with a venue that does not provide this then I would suggest you assess everything your vendor provides and does not provide ieLinens, plateware, tables and chairs Etc. it is extremely difficult to contact all of these different vendors and coordinate on your own. Let’s face it, it’s hard enough just to coordinate a DJ and a photographer and a florist at times never mind your own hair and make up, then the limousine service… I think 3K for a wedding planner is a lot of money personally. I do think you’re $25,000 budget for a small wedding is perfect, but I think one of the biggest things to keep in mind is how much your venue/catering vendor will provide.
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  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    I think planners are worth the money because of the time and stress they save you. And honestly, $3,000 for full service is a pretty good price! If your wedding is not local, I almost feel like a planner is necessary. I would explain to your FH that unless he wants to take over 50% of the planning (with you having the other 50%), then he needs to get on board with the wedding planner idea.

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  • C
    Dedicated April 2020
    Cindy ·
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    We are using a planner who is also going to be our officiant. A lot less stress for me and at the end of the day, I still have to approve budget items. So for someone else doing the leg work and presenting to me for review and a decision is a win win.
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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
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    In summary, my Fiance thinks that a wedding planner is going to "nickel and dime us" and will end up making our wedding cost more than it would then if we (aka ME) planned it on our own.

    Obvious solution: He plans it on his own. That way, either he does the work or he realizes he needs a wedding planner. Either way, you don't have the stress.

    If he's not willing to do that, why should he expect you to?

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  • A
    Super August 2020
    Alex ·
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    This completely depends on the wedding planner. I met with one that was exactly like your husband is describing. They were saying you need to spend $XX per head. It was crazy money. I ended up finding my wedding planner and she is the exact opposite. She was like "I can plan a $5,000 wedding or an $100,000 wedding or anything in between". She is always so respectful of our budget and treats are money like it is her own. She has shown us places to save money and places to splurge for max use of what we have. She has made this planning process AMAZING for us and so stress free!

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  • Taylor
    VIP October 2020
    Taylor ·
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    I didn't do it because I didn't feel like it was worth my money. That being said, I work with retirement planning so the entire "planning" aspect didn't intimidate me at all. I'm also the type of person that can make a decision and move on without second guessing myself. It get's much easier once you make the big decisions of venue and guest count. In my mind, the planner isn't there to make decisions for you but more so to coordinate with the vendors and give a few recommendations. I was more than happy to skip the middleman and save my money to use on something else.

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  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    At the very least you need a day of coordinator. My planner sends me referrals, she doesn't pressure me to go with anyone. I don't get any discounts through her. She's going to help us create a timeline and will go to 2 vendor meetings with us
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  • A
    Dedicated September 2020
    Alys ·
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    If your fiancé isn’t going to be very helpful during the process then I suggest hiring the planner. Seems like you’re already familiar with her work and are comfortable with using her. It would save you a lot of time and stress. In general, planners are pretty good are staying within the budget. You can emphasize that your budget is strict. And often planners can help you save money by telling you this isn’t necessary or you only need that for 2 hours not 4 or they can negotiate better rates than you could have on your own because you didn’t realize that was negotiable or you’re back just a one time customer so they have no incentive to negotiate with you vs. she has ongoing relationship and may refer future clients. One of my favorite weddings was in Deer Valley. Park City is so relaxing, you’re going to a great wedding!!
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  • Jenna
    Just Said Yes July 2021
    Jenna ·
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    Totally agree. Thank you so much!!
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  • Jenna
    Just Said Yes July 2021
    Jenna ·
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    Thank you all for your responses and guidance! We talked through it further and decided to go with the planner and he is totally on board, just needed to confirm that the planner is legitimate and won’t encourage us over our budget! 😂
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  • N
    Master January 2015
    null ·
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    You're welcome! Glad I could help Smiley smile

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