Fiance pushed the wedding date back.

Not overreacting. That is so devastating that you cant get everyone together for something as big as a wedding that you want everyone there for. Is there a deeper meaning for him wanting to set the date back? Do your families get along well enough? Is he self concious (after all, it is a huge event centered around the two of you)? Is the budget tight?


Im just saying he may very well have something going on besides "its just too soon" if hes willing to have venues cancelled and such

I understand where you are coming from. Did your fiance give a reason why he wanted to postpone. Maybe it's finances if the two of you are paying for it. Has he been sympathetic about wanting to move it up some for your family to be there?

View Quoted Comment We originally had an argument that caused him to want to postpone, we resolved the issue and were trying to select a new date or decide if the original date would be fine. I have tried to plead my case but he says there's no downside to pushing back the date. Gives more time to plan and the potential my brother would be there. I'm just sad cause I didn't want to push it out that far to begin with.

We pushed our date, but it was because I really wanted my sisters to be there. I had to work around their schedules. It devastated me, but after a good week of sulking I realized it was for the better cause it gave me more time to plan and more time to save. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but you’ll be able to save more for your wedding!

If you mutually agree to push back a wedding date because of finances or logistics or whatever, that's one thing. Your wedding date is something you work out together, as a team.


If I am reading your update correctly, it sounds like you had an argument, that caused your FH to want to postpone the wedding because it's "too soon", then you had another argument. The argument has been resolved. Now he refuses to keep the original date and wants to push it out a YEAR. Is that correct? I am a little confused re whether your FH wants to postpone because of the argument or because the wedding is too soon. Either way, I say this is a very big deal and a very red flag.
Why exactly does he think it's too soon? Why would he agree to the date in the first place if he thought it was too soon? Why would he have agreed to get engaged if he does not want to get married in the near future? Pushing the wedding out by a year, without your agreement, is significant. Worst case scenario, he is having doubts about the relationship. Best case scenario, he went along with an engagement and wedding date despite not feeling ready (rather than communicating his reservations to you like a grownup), and is now using this opportunity to backtrack. Neither makes a good partner.
Is he going to push the wedding back every time you have an argument? If he feels that there are things you need to work out in your relationship, he needs to be honest with you. Instead of being honest, he is ducking behind lame excuses.
From my outsider perspective, he's acting like he has cold feet but is too wimpy to do more about it. Couples have arguments. That alone is not a valid reason to push a wedding back. What would he have done if you had already sent out invites? What's he going to do if you have an argument but you're already married?
I would not put up with this. He's in or he's out. He does not get to mess with your head like this and do a slow burn. Keeping the wedding date is not something he gets to dangle over your head as a reward for not arguing.
I'd sit him down and have a serious talk about whether he really wants to marry you, and will stick with you through thick and thin. Pushing back a wedding because of an argument is even worse than kicking out a bridesmaid over an argument. As they say, removing someone from your wedding party means the end of that relationship...
I am sorry to say all this, but I see many red flags. You are a grown up in charge of your own life, you are not stuck with whatever he wants. Best of luck.

View Quoted Comment Everything this person said. I think there's a bigger issue at hand. An argument should not cause the wedding date to change. Maybe he's having second thoughts. Would ask him what he's really feeling even if that is a hard conversation because of he's not fully invested then don't marry into that.

What about a small family-only wedding in May so your brother can be there (treat guests to brunch or dinner at a restaurant) and a reception party for friends & extended family in 2021?