Fiancé not doing his part

Oooo ok girl good luck!

Some fiancé's are good at this some are not and sorry to tell you but all I can say is "MEN."

Be persistent! He would hate for the whole guest list to be your guests only. Go for a nice dinner and break out a notebook and pen. Time to change your approach lol!

Well he tells me that he's done all this and I get to my aunts with the invites and instead of seeing the names of the girlfriends and wives, he just added "+1" like I specifically told him not to. It was really upsetting and I was pissed he was wasting my aunts time and being disrespectful to her by not trying hard enough to have everything done in time.

Also, his sister moved recently and he never got her address. When he was supposed to go around dropping off the invites, instead of getting her address he decided to drop off her invite at his moms house and let her pick it up there whenever the next time she stops by is. I found that incredibly rude to his sister and really lazy on his part. And his sister already has an issue with me and I'm sure she would find that to be my fault and use it to say I was trying to leave her out of the wedding.

Even though my fiancé is super nonchalant and wants the wedding to be really casual and informal, I think he needs to realize that there is a level of etiquette required so that you're still not rude to your guests even if they are your siblings! They still need an invite!

I honestly think that men are just bad at this sort of thing to be honest with you! I just let it go til the last minute I possibly could until he actually seen the list and most of them I had invited and put in them he went on and did it himself! Another thing I did was try to make it fun! Men are terrible at guest list and all that especially if he's anything like mine and don't know where to start and gets overwhelmed easily! Just try to make it fun let him out his own touch on the envelope to his friends, show him exactly how to do one of them...from the phone call to the document to the envelope, there often feel like we've got it all under control when we don't express nicely how much you need his help and that you are concerned his friends and family won't make it if he doesn't do his part and then say if you need help I'll help ya

Ooh that must be frustrating when you're so on top of things and need this information. Is it worth asking him if there's something else going on? My FH has had a lot of anxiety around the guest list and keeps putting it off. He's a people pleaser and doesn't want to upset anyone, so basically just avoids thinking about it.

@futuremrsb you might be on to something. Our wedding extremely small so we both had to cut down on a lot of people that I know we would both have wanted there. But I don't get how he doesn't realize he's being rude to those that we actually are inviting by not including their guests names or sending them out at different times. I'm just kind of worried that he has the invites sitting in his glove compartment and won't get around to it for another 2 weeks and those people will feel like they weren't as important as those who got their save the dates 3 weeks ago...

I think this is a universal problem. I've given FH the easiest, "don't have to lift more than a finger" tasks and gave him a ton of time to do them. Stuff the envelopes, put a stamp on, lick them closed. Our invite was ONE PIECE OF PAPER. It wasn't a folder, no response card, nothing. 1 piece of paper. It took him two weeks to stuff 100 envelopes. And that's after I asked him for 2 or 3 weeks to start it. Similar situation with his suits -- Memorial Day we looked at suits and decided what we wanted. He's had all this time to just input contact info for his groomsmen into the website and then the groomsmen will take it from there. Still not done.

"If you want it done, do it yourself," has been my motto.

Listen, my FI is super detail oriented and analytical, so when i felt like i wasn't getting his input/full attention in the beginning, it really upset me. i found that over time, i learned how to be strategic in getting him to fully focus on it. i would say things like, "hey babe, after dinner, can we take 20 minutes to look at the guest list together?" pour a glass of wine, and show him line by line what you needed to see, etc. then once i got us talking about things, i would usually try to add something else in, like, while you're here, let me show you through some invitations i was thinking about....etc.

don't let wedding planning dampen your relationship. i totally understand you need to get sh*t done, but try to spoon feed him if he's not jumping into it.

I got fed up with asking and took his cell phone and messaged to all his friends asking for their address and their girlfriends name if I didn't know it

I had the same problem with my Fiance. It took him 2 months a little bit of nagging to finally get him to do it. I think many guys are just not as interested in the planning part of weddings as a lot of women. Of course that does not apply to all men. Lately, my fiance has been way more interested in planning like with catering, DJ, photography than things like flowers and decorations which I totally understand.

There were times that I felt the same way about FW. It's definitely not just a 'men thing'. Luckily she was very receptive to our conversation about wedding planning and she has really stepped up.

If he can't manage to give you names and addresses then his guests don't get invited. Easy.

Omg! I think we are marrying the same man. Finally I said any names without addresses / so names simply aren't getting and invite. And he knows I don't bluff. Amazingly he had addresses in 1 day.

"If their names and addresses aren't on the list, they won't receive a save the date." That would be one method. Of course STDs are obligatory and you could still just send them an invite when the time comes if the list is updated by then.

I asked my mom and FMIL for lists since I knew FH and I know very few addresses of family and their "local" friends (we do not live near either of our hometowns). So FH only ended up reaching out to maybe 2 or 3 friends to find out an address or a SO's name. Any of his friends who I am friends with on Facebook I reached out to myself that way. In one or two I included a note saying something like "Of course your SO is also invited, please let us know their name and we will add it on the formal invitations."