Fiance keeps adding guests

Ahhhh I would be losing my mind. FH tried for that and I told him our STDs go out next month. If he adds anyone else he needs to take someone away. Lol so he stopped 🤣🤣

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I'm so frustrated. When will it end?! Our save the dates have been out for 5 months and our wedding is in June. I'm a pushover and I really want to stand my ground on this but at the end of the day I want him to be happy so there isn't much middle ground here haha.

View Quoted Comment I totally get it but at the end of the day he knew who he was inviting so are these new friends that he has made and wants to invite them… I guess the situation on adding guess would be different depending on the relationship with the people he wanted to invite last minute

Oh man... I have no idea what you should do in a situation, but I'm definitely taking this as a cautionary tale! My FH And I are going to go over our guest list this week, and once we've decided, it's decided!

You need to seriously talk to him and remind him that this is not only causing stress but each time he invites more people that it is another person to feed. STD's have already gone out and it is rude to invite more people. Maybe happy compromise is no more people invited to the wedding as you prefer to keep it small and have a party when you two return where he can invite all the random people. Also, tell him that he should discuss these decisions with you before making them. I would put my foot down and make him agree to no more people or he will need to call the venue to make the changes and pay for them.

I have a similar situation. I estimated 150 at our wedding and our guest list is now 165 not including his friends, and our parents family friends. We have only sent save the dates and he ended up sending a bunch on Facebook to family who we aren’t close to. Unfortunately some of them just might not get an invite.

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I have suggested that he and his mom plan a big reception where they can invite anyone they want for when we get back home. And that she can pay for it. So we'll see if they decide to put something together or not!

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If it's not an official invite then it doesn't count! Haha. That will stink to bite the bullet and tell them no when they ask where their invite is though, make him do it since he invited them! And since our wedding is small, adding 10-15 people really makes a difference.

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Yes! I do understand certain exceptions but I'm to the point where if they haven't been thought about until now, they shouldn't get an invite.

My FH was doing the same thing! He started after I sent out our save the dates. We planned on our invitations going out on November 29th of 2019. We had our guest list set and I had all of the invites just about ready to go. His sister got married on November 2, 2019. At her wedding, he decided to invite about 10 other people to the wedding and told me about it the day before I was going to send out our invitations. The 10 he added were okay b/c we both knew them and we were not at our max capacity for our venue. After those 10, however, he came to me again the middle of December and said he invited more people and asked me to give them an invitation. That's when I had to have a sit-down with him. I had to tell him that we were getting close to our max number and he couldn't keep inviting people. I told him if he kept adding people that we would have to cut the alcohol budget and go to only a beer and wine bar and use the liquor money for their food, lol. That's when he stopped - he loves going out to get a drink with his friends. He's not a huge drinker but having full open bar was the one thing he asked if we could have at the wedding b/c he hates going to weddings and having the pay for his own drinks. I'd 100% say, unless it's family, draw the line. If they were not on his mind when you originally made the guest list, they shouldn't be an addition as the wedding gets closer.

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My friends inlaws are Dominican and they are known for inviting tons of people to parties lol. Put the fees on him and he will change his tune when he knows how much it is lol. I would say yes it is his day but it is yours too and tell him you do not want this to get bigger and you're asking him sternly to not invite anyone else.

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It is family, but not super close. His aunt just doesn't like that one of her kids got an invite and one didn't (he actually spends time with the one we invited outside of family events). It's not necessarily a space issue but we already have our food ordered. There are so many more people I could have invited and didn't! I want our favorite people present, not a cousin that he felt guilty about not inviting.

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I think the deciding factor for me will be if he actually wants them to be there or if he feels guilty for not inviting them because of what his aunt said. Because it's not a space issue but we do have our food order already put in. I think he learned from the last time when he invited his friend without telling me so he told me right away about this.

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I would ask him. When it comes to weddings everyone has an opinion and if you do not want a lot of kids you have that right, His aunt is not paying for your wedding so she can have all the opinions she wants but it is what you TWO want. She will get over it. I would have a serious sit down with him and express how him adding all these guests makes you feel and ask him why does he keep adding more?

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Then I'd say tell him that. I agree that weddings should include the people most important to you both. When my FH and I were making our guest list and he wanted to invite everyone he ever walked by in life (lol), I asked him if he looked around at the wedding and didn't see them if he would be upset that they weren't there, or if he would even notice. If he said he wouldn't notice, they didn't get an invitation.

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My fiance also wanted to invite everyone he's interacted with he's since come around after discussing budgets and planning. Like I said to a previous poster, I've told him from the beginning that he and his mom can plan a big reception at home after our semi-DW and they can invite anyone they want if they pay for it! They haven't planned anything yet so we'll see!

View Quoted Comment Yes definitely for you those extra ppl make a difference. Im hoping some ppl RSVP no! Lol but seriously in our family & friends ppl are really bad. They either dont RSVP or they do & don’t show up. My bridal shower was last weekend & I sent out invites personally via text and everyone RSVPd. I had to reach out to ppl again because there was a discrepancy in the invite & literally talked to ppl 1week prior and a few days before. Theres about 10+ ppl that I can count off the top of my head who said See u on Saturday but never showed up. Honestly for the wedding im hoping a handful of ppl do the same lol.

Oh god my fiance was doing the same thing. He comes from a large family with alot of divorced people and new spouses and step children! He wants to invite them all. I have a small family so im keeping my list small. He kept adding people and saying oh one more, or dont they need a plus one? Oh if we add more at least we will grt gifts.
Im like no! Not necessarily. I showed him the cost of adding all these extra people and he stopped adding people

I'm glad that I'm not the only one that this is happening to!

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Well, there is middle ground. You could work together to agree on a cap. At that point, he'd need to stop inviting people until you are ready to send out invitations. He could add them to a list so he wouldn't forget them in the interim, but then at the end he'd have to choose which ones to invite while staying under the cap.

There really is no reason to invite people between sending out save the dates and sending out invitations.