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Just Said Yes March 2021

Fiance is hurt her family doesn't want to attend shower

Steven, on February 23, 2021 at 5:09 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 11

Hello everyone,


So our wedding shower is this Saturday and my fiancé's family isn't going to come. She also doesn't have a huge friend group so she only having a couple of her friends and members of my family at the shower. She is just so hurt that her family is not there for her in any way, and I think she is feeling more and more like the only people who even care we are getting married are my family and friends. I feel awful for her and I don't know how to help her. Any advice would be great thanks!

11 Comments

Latest activity by Rebecca, on February 24, 2021 at 3:30 AM
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    There is nothing to do. I recommend if she starts to have sadness often and for a long period of time then she may want to seek counselling
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  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
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    Remember that no one will care about the wedsing as much as the nuptials. Coming ob here and asking about what to do shows uou care and support her.
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  • A
    Expert September 2020
    Amanda ·
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    You sound very supportive, I think that’s a great first step! Maybe if you can let the host know she’s feeling a bit down about it? I would think regardless she’ll be showered with love and hopefully will feel better after but she’ll still be sad her loved ones weren’t there. My husband always told me that our families don’t matter and we’re marrying each other to start our own family together and that’s all that matters. That helps me.
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  • Lauren
    Expert July 2021
    Lauren ·
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    I think that’s most important. You guys are starting your own family and those who want to celebrate will be there. Great point Amanda! I hope you continue to be her pillar when she needs it!
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  • S
    Just Said Yes March 2021
    Steven ·
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    Thank you for the kind words.

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  • S
    Just Said Yes March 2021
    Steven ·
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    Thank you for the reply, im gonna try those things out.

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  • Michelle
    Master April 2021
    Michelle ·
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    There really isn’t anything you can do except be there for her which clearly shows. My daughter & her wife had this same situation. My daughter’s father & her wife’s mother didn’t attend the wedding. I told them both “it doesn’t matter that they don’t attend. If they did, they’d make this day about them. The people who are here, the people that love & support you, they’re your family. We might not all be blood but we’re family!”
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  • CountryBride
    VIP April 2022
    CountryBride ·
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    Why don’t you throw her a surprise shower with your friends and family she will feel how much she is loved
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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    Try to help her focus on the people who do come to the shower. It's easier said than done, but it doesn't do anyone any good to dwell on who doesn't come to any event. Are those family members coming to the wedding? That is by far the more important event of the two.

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  • D
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
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    Wow! You sound like a really great guy. You sound like you really care about her and love her a lot.♥️ Coming from someone that has unsupportive family members, I understand what she’s feeling. Especially when we’re the brides. She may feel embarrassed/like a loser, so it’s important that you stress to her that it’s not her fault, and that she’s not a loser (or however else she may be feeling). Maybe you could even talk to some of your family members in private and explain the situation to them and that way they can show her extra support. She has a new family now and that is with you. She also has your new family now which is now her family. Think of it as a really great way for her to bond with your family. Good luck Groom and congrats!
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  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
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    So, my mother and her side of the family refused to come to our wedding, because my mother didn't like the invitations.

    Your FW is not alone.

    I'm very sorry her family is toxic. This is where "chosen family" comes in - you, your friends, and those who are supportive.

    I cannot recommend counseling enough for her (I'm speaking from experience). Maybe you could also gently ask one of her closest friends to quietly spread the word to be extra supportive.

    Also, and this is the honest truth - I had so much more fun at our wedding, *because* my toxic family wasn't there. (My mother did come to the shower, and it was a *nightmare*.) If they can't be supportive, it's best they aren't around.

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