Fiance having issues with wedding

Maybe couples or premarital counseling. The fact that he’s getting angry seems like a red flag and if you’re going to get on the same page, you’ll need to be able to talk about and consider what each person wants...what’s important to you as well as him.

It’s understandable to not want all the attention on you. I don’t like being center of attention and I hate giving a speech. But knowing that my fiancé is there as well as my wedding party I’m not as nervous. I’ve opted out of doing our own vows as well. My fiancé understands but there’s no need for him to get angry. I really like what Marisa suggested. Premarital counseling could definitely help.

If he doesn't want to be the center of attention, he's allowed to feel that way. All he has to do is use his words and say so.


His avoidant behavior and being quick to anger are red flags. What is there to get angry about?
I think individual counseling for him is more appropriate than couples counseling because of the anger. Most therapists won't do couples counseling until you've addressed your own issues individually

Maybe a courthouse wedding and then a reception with everyone you would want at the wedding. That way the intimate, attention getting stuff is done just between you two and then you can celebrate dress up and party the night away.

I agree with PPs and maybe try premarital counseling or individual counseling. It's one thing to be shy & not want attention on you (I don't like it much either), but to get angry & avoid the topic feels like it's something deeper that he's not saying. Tell him you both need to sit down & discuss this because no matter what type of wedding you choose, both of you need to be on board & it can't be something you feel like you can't discuss around him.

My fiancee and I got engaged last year May, he really didn't get fully engaged in our planning until about 6 months out. But we both agreed early on that a small wedding is what we wanted. I think you two have to find a happy compromise one that meets both of your needs and wants. This ceremony doesn't have to be all about him but yes, it does include him. Both of you shouldn't settle, but finding that happy medium is always key.

I suggest premarital counseling for every couple, but it’s because we often come from different backgrounds and ways of communicating. Early on my fiancé felt I was pissed at him when I never remembered feeling such towards him. And I know we only see your side here and I know people see the phrase “he gets angry” and interpret it as many different levels. Counseling can help both parties learn how to better communicate.


Back to the wedding thing, talk with him about finding a compromise. What do you want as far as numbers and location, what has your dream wedding looked like? My fiancé doesn’t care for all the attention but he told me early on to plan what I wanted, this was my first and only wedding. My mom still has a sore spot when reminiscing on her wedding because she had wanted to invite her whole church and dad only wanted the required witnesses. The compromise was about 20 close family and friends, but mom still regrets it.
There’s got to be a way to compromise with you and your fiancé, somewhere you can both find a happy medium.