Hi all. This is my first post, and I'm hoping to hear from others who may have experienced something similar, if for no other reason than to let me know I'm not alone in this.
My fiancé simultaneously has lots of strong opinions about our wedding yet gets so stressed out by any planning discussions that 95% of the time, it's completely impossible to talk to him. I've told him I'm perfectly happy with whatever level of participation he wants to have in planning, especially since his job is really draining right now, so I'm happy to take on the bulk of the heavy lifting. When I try to loop him in for big decisions or ones I know he feels strongly about, he either refuses to engage in the conversation or gets so frustrated halfway through that he walks away.
If I ever try to engage in a discussion about a particular thing he has an opinion on (e.g. informing me this morning he wants the ceremony to start around noon...which threw me since we also talked about an after party going from 10pm-12am, so I have no clue what sort of time line he's imagining since that would be an 11-12 hour event...), he often reacts by saying I'm just trying to tell him why he's wrong. I feel so frustrated, because that couldn't be further from how I feel. I want us to be able to talk through our own thought processes - maybe there's something he's thinking of that I'm not, and vice versa - to figure out what we both agree works best for us.
I feel at a total standstill. We're less than a year away with no vendors locked in (we're having a backyard tented wedding, so all we have is our "venue"). We're in the process of finalizing contracts with our wedding planner, but even that's been like pulling teeth - he didn't like a lot of the contract language, but didn't actually finish reading it yet, so I went through it with a fine tooth comb (I'm a lawyer), drafted an email with edits, sent it to him to review, and he's still sitting on it. I can't do anything until we lock in our planner, since I want to do a detailed budget breakdown with her and have her be the one to negotiate with vendors. I'm stressed, and I know the longer we wait, the more stress there'll be for both of us.
