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Just Said Yes April 2022

Fiance doesnt see the rush

Kat, on April 1, 2020 at 6:54 PM Posted in Planning 0 6

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I really dont know what to do, my fiance 44, proposed at xmas 2019. I am 35 and we gave been dating 4yrs. He doesn't see the rush in setting dates, or getting married. I know getting engaged was a big deal for him, but at the e same time, i have this massive fear my parents who are in their 70s wont be around for my wedding. His parents are over 10yrs younger and he isnt as close so doesnt understand why i get upset, he just says they will be fine and not to worry and wedding 5 yrs away will be fine. How do i make him understand how it makes me feel or am i being irrational pushing for a wedding within next yr or so

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Latest activity by Hannah, on April 2, 2020 at 3:29 PM

Legend June 2019
Melle · on April 1, 2020 at 6:58 PM
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I don't think you're being irrational. is it the WEDDING he says can wait or the act of marrying? for instance, can you guys just elope or have a small ceremony and then do a larger wedding celebration later on?
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Just Said Yes April 2022
Kat · on April 1, 2020 at 7:05 PM
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Thanks i think the full thing, he isnt big on being centre of attention, which i get so we wouldn't have anything big at all. He just says there is no rush at all and my parents will be fine in 5-6yrs. So we are now butting head as he feels im nagging him regarding the issue, i feel he isnt being realistic when it comes to age, both parents are 73/74 so woukd be pushing 80 by then, if still around
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Dedicated August 2020
Tiffany · on April 1, 2020 at 7:06 PM
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I don’t think you’re being irrational!! Having your parents there on your wedding is so special, and I think you should keep voicing how important that is to you to your fiancé!
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Savvy November 2020
Ashley · on April 1, 2020 at 9:53 PM
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Does he seem hesitant about commitment in general? What I’m thinking is he could be afraid of making the official commitment. He loves you and wants to put a ring on it, but might be afraid to take the next step of actually getting married. If he’s just afraid of being the center of attention you could always do a small wedding with 50 or fewer people (or even just elope with immediate family).
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Just Said Yes March 2022
Kylie · on April 1, 2020 at 10:34 PM
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I would definitely feel the same way so I understand where you're coming from! I would try to find out if there is some underlying issue- whether it be commitment, money, or something else. Before my fiance proposed he was hesitant and I eventually figured out it was because of the cost of a wedding. If it's being the center of attention maybe he'd agree to an elopement or smaller wedding?
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Master July 2019
Hannah · on April 2, 2020 at 3:29 PM
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I guess my question to him would be what's the difference between getting married within a year or so compared to 5 years. You said that it was a big deal for him to get engaged. What does that mean?
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