Fiance doesn't have a best man

Hi there!


My fiancé and I mutually decided not to have a best man or maid of honor. We both felt everyone in our wedding party means a lot to us. We just couldn’t pick one person to be put above the rest. I know it’s a bit untraditional but it’s what personally worked for us.

View Quoted Comment I appreciate this more than you know.. but I have a busy friend since we were 3 and its always been a thing. Maybe I can talk to her, I know that she'd understand. But either way he doesn't have a lot of friends. He has one that he can see in his wedding party and I just am not sure what to do.

Best friend** lol

My husband had a best man and I didn’t have a maid of honor. It wasn’t a big deal. My sister gave a speech at the reception. Besides the title it isn’t any different.

We opted not to have bridesmaids or groomsmen. I’m a wedding planner in my regular life and honestly they’re more hassle then they’re worth plus there’s a lot of additional expenses in having a bridal party. Clothing, hotels, make up and hair, transportation. It can be a lot. Plus if you read the feeds on here about bridesmaids you may not want any after all 🤣🤣🤣. As a second thought if you opt to skip them you could always have the person you would have chosen do a reading during the wedding.

Yes; not a big deal at all.

View Quoted Comment How would that work? Just not have anyone stand up with us? But have one person give a speech at the reception?

Either you are marrying a very independent and self sufficient young man, or a very lonely one. There is no need to cover up or provide cardboard figures for appearances. He is who he is and that is fine for getting married. Don't worry about it. As for speakers, they are optional. Each side usually has a host or parent, or a BM /MOH or a general friend speak. All are not necessary, and none is required. One or two people can speak for you both, or you as hosts can speak. I have heard simply one of a couple speak of their hopes and dreams as a couple. All are fine. Don't be choked or ruled by the format of what is commonly done. There is no right or wrong in this, and nothing religious. It is a social event to shape to suit who you are. Huge numbers of people stand together every year, marrying their best friend with no one else on one side, or either side. It is fine. Relax.

Could he choose his dad? Ultimately I don't think its a big deal to not have a BM

View Quoted Comment No one would stand on either side it would just be the two of you at the altar and have someone come up during the ceremony not the reception to give a reading. If your spiritual it could be something from the Bible or so on

View Quoted Comment I think that’s a great idea! Talk to someone who would be understanding. Have you asked your future husband his opinion on it? At the end of the day it’s about you and your future husband. Good luck to you! I know you guys will make the right decision for your special day!

Is your fiancé ok with not having a best man?
Either way it's not really a problem to be solved.

View Quoted Comment Hahaha, same, my husband and I both didn't have a maid of honor or a best man in our wedding, because we didn't want any conflict. But we both had people work and act a MOH and best man that it just ended up thatnway

View Quoted Comment Exactly! It just made sense for us not to “chose” . We personally feel that unless you have someone EXTREMELY close that the whole labeling of best man and maid of honor is a bit like putting someone above the others on a so to speak “pedestal”

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much for this. I'll talk to him and everyone here is right, we will figure out what works best for us! He's just a little down about it but all will be okay! 💜

My husband has a best man, I do not have a MoH.i couldn't choose so I am pairing them up by height for walking down the isle. Probably won't ask any of my girls to give a toast because I didn't pick a MoH. It's not a big deal to us

View Quoted Comment This has not been the best time for making new friends. But take this as a heads up. When you are vaccinated, and seeing more people, make a concerted effort as a couple to meet some couples, live and in person. Join a club or an activity. Pick someone nice at work, and do thongs together. Invite some couples over for a cookout, or dinner party with games or going out. Not his friends alone, or yours, but some mutual friends. And maybe a few more, his coworkers, someone in an activity or class he takes. Not for the wedding, but for after. It is easy when you fall in love, or move, to let go of other friends. And stages of life, school graduations and changing jobs, do it too.
But long term, most people benefit personally, and it helps their marriage, if both have friends.