C
Just Said Yes April 2018

Fiance does not want a wedding!!! Help Im in tears!

Christen , on July 11, 2017 at 8:12 PM Posted in Planning 0 26
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Today I found out my fiance does not want to have a wedding. Orginally we had both agreed on a small backyard wedding. Now he is saying screw everything and that everyones going to judge us. Ive been dreaming of this day forever like most woman. I feel so disapointed. He gets angry everytime i talk about it. I have no idea what to do. Any suggestions?

26 Comments

Latest activity by Olivia, on July 17, 2019 at 9:51 AM
  • Leeann
    Super August 2017
    Leeann ·
    • Flag

    Couples counseling. Him getting angry and you in tears is a sign that something is seriously wrong with communication and compromise. Address these issues now before you're legally bound to one another.

    • Reply
  • J. Clo
    Master May 2018
    J. Clo ·
    • Flag

    Couples counseling. What exactly is he angry about? Having a wedding, getting married in general or something else?

    • Reply
  • RealLindseyO
    Master October 2017
    RealLindseyO ·
    • Flag

    What is he angry about? Definitely go to couples counseling and learn some communication strategies.

    • Reply
  • RZ_ToBe
    Master July 2018
    RZ_ToBe ·
    • Flag

    Ask why he's so frustrated. Most people get into the "screw it" attitude during planning at some point. If he's worried about people judging, ask what specifically makes him think that way. A small backyard wedding should cut those judge-y people out.

    • Reply
  • C
    Just Said Yes April 2018
    Christen ·
    • Flag

    Im thinking hes upset because we dont have many friends. That what i was thinking. A small wedding will keep the drama at bay lol. I just dont want to have a wedding and him be sour the whole time

    • Reply
  • MnmsMonique
    Super June 2018
    MnmsMonique ·
    • Flag

    A lot of people want to skip the wedding when they start seeing prices and have to plan, but he shouldn't be angry about it. He should definitely not be making you cry. I think counseling is a good start. It would provide you both with an opportunity to give your standpoint and not argue or get emotional.

    • Reply
  • Mrs Richmond
    Master June 2017
    Mrs Richmond ·
    • Flag

    You guys need to be on the same page about the wedding. I can see him being frustrated with everything and wanting to say "fuck it" (I went there a few times during planning too), but H and I communicated what we really wanted to each other and we made it through.

    Sounds like you two need to learn how to communicate with each other a little better.

    • Reply
  • TheHamWhites
    Super March 2018
    TheHamWhites ·
    • Flag

    Counseling!!! It's nothing to be ashamed about. The counselor will give you tips on how to better communicate with each other and "games" to get you guys closer. It helps!!!

    • Reply
  • FutureMrs.L
    Master September 2018
    FutureMrs.L ·
    • Flag

    My FH doesn't have many friends, at least none that will fly in from Canada. So I understand completely. I'm really wanting to do something small. I feel bad because it'll be pretty much all my friends and family attending the wedding. Smiley sad I've talked to a few of my friends, and they want to plan double date nights, when he's back in town next month, get the hubbies together. They said they embrace him and will rally behind us and make him feel welcome. Two have offered to be groomsmen for him. We may not have many friends, but those we do have are amazing. Smiley smile don't focus on numbers so much, that's what I'm doing. I'm focusing on who we want there, and taking it from there.

    I agree with PP, counseling will be good. Communication is so important.

    • Reply
  • Chantelle
    Devoted September 2018
    Chantelle ·
    • Flag

    Is a destination wedding possible? If you are worried about attendance, maybe have a small group (family, closest friends) join you for a destination wedding, and after that you can take your honeymoon in the same place? I know a few people who have done that.

    Definitely would suggest counseling to help both of you get on the same page and help with communication! Wedding planning is stressful, for sure, but should be fun for both of you!

    • Reply
  • L
    Devoted July 2017
    Laura ·
    • Flag

    Oh no! You should tell him that it doesn't matter what other people think, no matter what you do people will always find something to judge about your wedding as long as it makes you 2 happy. Perhaps really listen to the reasons why he doesnt want a wedding and offer options of how you two can fix those reasons.

    • Reply
  • Leelee
    VIP September 2018
    Leelee ·
    • Flag

    How long have you been engaged? How old are you guys? Are you in a pretty solid position financially?

    • Reply
  • Karla T
    Devoted November 2017
    Karla T ·
    • Flag

    Oh no! So sorry to hear about FH... his anger towards your feelings is unfair. He needs to communicate the WHY.

    Ugh.. I would have cried too!!

    • Reply
  • Powers2
    Master April 2018
    Powers2 ·
    • Flag

    He doesn't want to get married, or he doesn't want to have a party?

    • Reply
  • Christina
    VIP September 2017
    Christina ·
    • Flag

    Don't let this overwhelm you. Talk to him and see if maybe there is another reason why he doesn't want to have a wedding. It's just as much his wedding as it is yours. Just because you've been dreaming about it doesn't mean it's something he wants. I hope things work out

    • Reply
  • B
    Devoted July 2017
    Brea ·
    • Flag

    If he can't do something small when it's obviously something so important to you, maybe this isn't for you too. Your spouse should want to do anything for you and visa versa.

    • Reply
  • Vanessasaurus
    VIP June 2019
    Vanessasaurus ·
    • Flag

    I sometimes feel like you can either have something very simple with a very small group or you have the whole big wedding. A lot of these low budget weddings look cheesy and it seems like he'd rather use the money for something more practical than risk putting so much money into something half assed. You have to communicate to figure it out though. Pushing back your date will give you more time to save for what you want, but you really have to figure out what it is he wants too.

    • Reply
  • Jessica
    Super April 2018
    Jessica ·
    • Flag

    Sounnds like he wants to marry you, but is overwhelmed with the planning aspect of it and being judged by others. Maybe settle on something super small, with only people you know would NEVER judge and tell him you'll handle the bulk of the planning.

    • Reply
  • Jacks
    Master November 2054
    Jacks Online ·
    • Flag

    Can you compromise?

    • Reply
  • FutureMrsR
    VIP May 2018
    FutureMrsR ·
    • Flag

    Just breathe and give it a week or two. He may just be stressed or burned out. Then approach it rationally and explain what you want. If he isn't willing to compromise or doesn't care what you want, that's a bad sign for things to come.

    • Reply

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