Fh’s sister plus one

I would tell her he can't come. Not because you don't like him, but because when the RSVP deadline rolls around she'll give a yes or no for him and by the time the wedding rolls around who knows what the situation will be.

I'm having the same issue, I wanted to give my friend a plus one for the father of her son, but they are literally so back and forth it's not even funny. At least every other month he's kicking her (and their son) out because he wants to fool around with other girls and won't commit to her. Then again, she won't just stay away from him either. Their whole vibe is a bad one and I don't want any of it involved in my wedding.

It sounds like she isn't seeing the abusiveness of the relationship which means you do need to proceed cautiously or risk pushing her away from family and right to him. I do think she needs to be sat down and told why you and your FH feel strongly against putting him back on the list. Tempers need to be left outside the discussion and prepare for her hurt to spill over onto you. I know people say that if it's his family he should deal with it, but if you are close to her she may appreciate you acting as a friend here. Just remember to keep her feelings and health primary, the wedding secondary without sounding like anyone wishes to control her choices in partner. I wish you all a happy outcome here.

I would most definitely not invite him... not worth the risk of potential drama!!!

In this situation, I think it's okay to keep her BF off the list. He's clearly abusive and you don't want to see her be put through all that pain!