My FH's mother died when he and his brother (his only bio sibling) were 11 and 12. When FH was 19, his father got remarried to a widow who met me through a church support group that was focused on widowers/widows. FFIL's second wife is 14 years younger than him. At the time they got married she was 31 and and he was 45. Her twin sons were 3 and she was pregnant with her daughter when her husband died. The kids were 8 and 5 when FFIL and FSMIL got married. FFIL has been the only father they have known and they call him dad. FSMIL has a close relationship with her deceased husband's family and as a result of that she didn't allow FFIL to adopt her kids because she didn't want to be disrespectful to her former in-laws. FH's step-siblings are now 22 and 19.
FH and I decided on 5 people on each side for the wedding party. FH is having his brother as best man, a female cousin as a groomswoman, two lifelong friends, and a friend from college. I'm having my sister as MOH, brother as bridesman, and three female friends as bridesmaids.
I had to go out of town for two weeks to attend a funeral for an aunt who passed away on my side of the family and I also had to help my uncle deal with getting to deal with probate and other things. I was gone for Super Bowl weekend. For the past several years, FH and I have gone over to his dad's house for a Super Bowl party. FH went alone and his dad pulled him aside and said that he was disappointed that FH didn't ask any of the step-siblings to be in the wedding. FFIL told FH that he raised those kids and loves them like his own and is disappointed that FH doesn't view them as siblings (FFIL's words) . FFIL says he worries about the future in which his other son (FH's brother) will leave out the other three out of his wedding if he gets married and he also feels that his other three kids will not be seen as aunts or uncles to any kids FH and I or his brother may have. FFIL feels very hurt and hasn't been responding to FH's texts and calls since Sunday.
I have been trying to come up with ways to include the three step-siblings, but it's difficult because FH converted to Catholicism for me and my family. We have already asked friends from our parish to do our readings at our wedding mass, we have asked other friends to be ushers. I'm thinking of just telling FH that we should just include them as groomsmen and bridesmaid.
