fh Planning on Working the Morning of the Wedding

My FH's only responsibility the day of the wedding is to show up. This wouldn't bother me at all. I'll be busy until he needs to show up at 4pm.

What time is your ceremony? How far will you have to travel to it? Do you have to set up the ceremony/reception space yourself?

For some people their ceremony isn't until 5pm so they don't start getting ready until 2pm. In that case your FH will have more than enough time to work in the morning. I understand it is upsetting but is there a reason he has to be at work that day? Does he own his own business? Is he on a deadline?

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Well I cant help my feelings. It upsets me because it's a special day. I thought he could treat it like one. I feel like I am going to need help in the morning with the dogs and getting everything ready but now it will all be on me. I don't want him to just show up, it's both of our days not just mine.

Usually guys don’t need a lot of time. The thing that takes girls forever is hair and make up. They just need a few minutes to get dressed. I would find out what time the photographer wants to start and go from there. I’m not even going to see my fiancé until I walk down the aisle so this wouldn’t bother me.

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Then you need to tell him exactly that. Tell him you are assigning him tasks the day of the wedding and would really appreciate if he didn't work.

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I did, but he won't budge lol. So I'll just have to get over it lol.

My fiance slept in until 9:30 AM, got up & showered & relaxed, went to lunch with his groomsmen & dad at 12, headed to the venue at 2. So he could have worked from 7-11 if he wanted to, but he wanted to relax & enjoy the day.

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Yeah he owns his own business, but he takes days off all the time. He's had plenty of time to get this day settled. I'm not going to hold a grudge, but I know how fast these kind of things fly by. I get easily stressed, and I feel I'm going to need help.

The venue and his work are like 15 minutes from each other. I'm sure it will be fine, ceremony isn't until 4:30. I guess it's normal for people to work on the wedding day then, here I thought people usually take time off for a special occasion especially their wedding day. I guess I shouldn't complain, but it hurts my feelings I guess.

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I'd way rather have him do that. He just refuses lol.

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True. Well he has to be to the venue at 12:30 because they are serving the groomsmen lunch. I have a feeling he'll be cutting it close but oh well. If he doesn't make it I will eat their lunch for them then lol.

I think circumstances matter. If he wasn’t able to get time off or if it was a financial burden for him to take the whole day off that would be one thing. I’d be annoyed if FH wanted to work on our wedding day. It doesn’t take much for people to run late or get held up by something so I wouldn’t be ok taking that chance the day of our wedding.

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That's exactly what I tried telling him lol. My family is always way too optimistic with time. We live in a city of 1 million, there's constant traffic. I never should have booked a venue so close to his work lol!

At this point I can't convince him otherwise, so I'm just trying to prepare myself lol. I'm just upset because it's supposed to be a special day. Why don't I just go into work for a half day too then lol?? Is the woman the only one who is supposed to consider it a big day? Ok now I'm just being dramatic but I just needed to vent lol.

I think that's cutting a little close. I say have his suit and shoes ready to go when he gets there.
Can he do a half day? Or leave two hours early? I just think he's going to be really tired and that might show in your photos, or he won't be able to enjoy himself as much.

It wouldn't bug me but that's because we didn't even start photography til 130-2p and our ceremony was at 5p aha but I can see how that would be bad if it cuts it too close to your ceremony or scheduling of other things

I'd be annoyed. I wouldn't help him with a single thing lol. If he wants to work, fine. He can also make sure all his stuff is together and get there on time.

Because of the dogs/responsibilities at the house, I understand how this would be stressful, and even more, if your perception is that he isn't prioritizing spending time with you that morning, that's upsetting. But, if he's deadset on going to work, then maybe make other plans to help manage your time/stress that morning. Maybe hire a dog sitter and/or plan to have a friend come spend the early part of the morning with you. In terms of his "getting ready" time though, I agree with others that it really is quite possible guys "get ready" in about 3 minutes. Daughter and SIL separated at the same time early on the morning of the wedding. She and I left for HMU, and he went to go meet the GMs for breakfast. Around 11, the photographer came to where the girls were all finishing getting ready/dressed and the second shooter went to where the guys were. Daughter had allowed about 90 in both locations for a light lunch and "getting ready" pictures. Like 10 minutes into that time block, the second shooter called the photographer to let him know the "guys were done" and getting antsy! The groom wanted her to ask the photographer to ask daughter what they were supposed to do during "all that time?!?!?" LOL....

View Quoted Comment Maybe he just wants to be distracted by work so he doesn't get too nervous?

While I agree with you, maybe he wants to go to work to keep busy. I mean, what else is he going to do? He may want to keep from getting nervous or antsy. I know a lot of guys who played golf, went hunting or did some other activity with their groomsmen the morning of their weddings. Maybe you could encourage the same? Regardless, he should respect your feelings and try to get his work done so he is off the whole day.

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I am just not a person that has to constantly be doing something lol. So I don't get it.

I did actually think about that last night. He is a workaholic so maybe that's how he's dealing with his stress.

If I knew for sure he'd get off at that time and their would be plenty of time it would still bug me a bit, but not a lot. My FH though is a plumber, so if he worked i'd be livid because he never knows what time he'll be off work