fh is dragging his feet planning

I'm somewhat in the same boat! It's irritating as all hell and I'm just trying to get addresses from his people. Not hard at all. He's done the same thing with the whole video games thing. I honestly don't mind but if you could just please get what we need SOONER, then I can stop bothering you about it. I know he's also super forgetful but I'm also tired of repeating myself. I reminded him again this morning but we'll see how well that works out

I get it. I'm definitely not trying to be that person but no matter how small the task, it's still important. We can't mail anything to anyone without their address! If I had their contact info, I would have gotten it myself a long time ago lol. I've been having to do the same thing with him finishing something he needs to prep in order to find a new job. THAT is the most stressful one of all. I'm trying to stay calm lol

My FH isn't really dragging his feet but wants to know why I want things done ahead of time. I told him he sounds like a 4 year old asking why all the time. That didn't go over too well, but I explained I want things done so I don't have as much anxiety. For instance I put my FH is charge of planning the place for rehearsal dinner; we wanted it to be within walking distance for those attending which left us with 2 options. One of which is a truly disgusting bar where your feet stick on the ground. The other was attached to the Holiday Inn across the street from the venue where the food is great and we can hang out there without a sticky floor. They only have 1 rental room. So he booked about 2 weeks ago. I feel so much better and my anxiety is decreased. We are ahead of planning right now; I told him now we can just relax for a bit and enjoy the holiday season coming up without having to worry about planning stuff for the wedding; this also seemed to get a better response from my FH.

I asked his mom for a few family friends info but these are HIS FRIENDS addresses that we need to get. Although I got a few of the coworkers, he could have easily sent a text to the others asking for it ya know. I think I just might have to do some Facebook stalking lol. He said he was going to ask a couple of them to be part of the wedding party but he's been lagging on that too. I love him, I really do but I need answers!

I had this problem with FH for awhile. Then I told him that NONE of his friends would be invited unless I had their addresses by a certain date. That got his butt in gear!! LOL. Sometimes you have to go for the jugular to get anything done. I'm sorry I had to basically threaten my FH, but whatever works!!

Funny thing is, he didn't even take it as a threat, really. He just knew I meant business, and I wouldn't hesitate to cut his friends from the list if I didn't have their addresses. I'm a "mean what you say" kind of gal, so, he did what he said he would do, and got them.

YES! I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt but it's really starting to look like I shouldn't. Looks like I'm going to have to go in for the kill! lol

SAME THING HERE!!! But, I'm trying to do what I can alone at my own time, and if there's anything that he needs to be involved in then I tell him days in advance that I'll need an hour or two of his time on Saturday/Sunday.

Throw the planning book at him. (As I've said before on this forum, this may or may not have actually happened in my house.)

No, seriously. Ask him to get off the video games for 5 minutes and talk to you like a partner.

These are important things, and if you don't have a limo, you don't have transportation. If there is no Best Man, no one is going to organize his bachelor party, or hold the rings, or stand up with him at the altar.

And all of this stuff is time sensitive. Ask him if there's a reason it's not done - is he nervous? Unsure what he wants? Overwhelmed?

Remind him that it takes two to get married, and two to plan the wedding. If he isn't doing his bit, then courthouse it is!

I would never give my FH a to do list like that. He isn't into planning and that is okay. I am the planner in our relationship, so it's no surprise I am carrying the bulk of the planning. As for your list, this is what I would do.

1. contact limo companies for quotes. I would ask him if he is invested in doing this and if he didn't mid, I would just do it myself.
2. ask his best man to actually be his best man. Ask if there is a reason he is waiting. Does he want to send a gift as a way of asking? Is he unsure if he wants a best man?
3. get an idea of what kind of suit/tux he wants and go browsing. Also decide on colors for the groomsmen. If he hasn't given suggestions, pick what you want and ask if he likes it.
4. set up an appointment with the flower shop the venue uses to talk about the included centerpieces. The odds of your FH caring about center pieces seems low. I would just do this myself.

Ask him what he wants to be involved with. Don't give him assignments like a child. My fiance decided he wanted to be involved in overall logistics, food, and dj. The rest he has veto power on. If I pick something he hates, he says so and then helps find something we both like.

For addresses, I set a deadline. If I had them, I took care of all of the invites. If I didn't he needed to address the envelopes on his own or his friends didn't get invited. This was very very effective. I think we maybe had to do only 3-4 by hand.

Giving him a to-do list is treating him like a child, if you came up with the list on your own and all he has to do is execute. If it is really important to you that he is involved in the planning, ask him what he would like to help with. Show him your to-do list and ask if he can take some things off your plate since he wanted a big wedding.

Hmm...very smart. I didn't think about that. Thanks!