So my FH's family members (pretty all of the 6 couples who were invited to our wedding) RSVP'd "No." This means my FH will have his parents and siblings there. That is literally it. I feel so heartbroken for him but he keeps reassuring me that I feel this way because I have a good relationship with my family members.
A little backstory: We have been dating since we were in high school. (His parents and I have a relationship now. we aren't close but they aren't even close with my FH so I never expected that.) Without going into details, FH had a traumatic childhood leaving him with resentments but he still loves his parents; he just says he has accepted that his family isn't like mine and he isn't ever going to have family members that are involved in our lives the way I am used to. My parents are helping with a few things and have been helping me plan the entire time. My mom and sister are also throwing the bridal shower for me. His parents don't know anything about our wedding besides the venue name (and they even forget that and casually ask anytime the wedding is brought up) because they honestly don't really care. His mom still hasn't purchased a dress for the wedding and seems careless about the entire event. His parents told him for the first few years that they didn't care to get to know me because I am white and they don't want him to marry someone who isn't hispanic so it has been very disheartening but I have always tried to understand because I am not what they wanted for their son. It just hurts. I am christian, not jehovah's witness, and she does not accept me for that reason as well. My FH is christian as well. He was raised catholic but went to christian churches with friends growing up and eventually my family when they allowed it and he made that decision on his own. His mom told me recently that she is happy he believes in God at all and that she doesn't think he ever really did until he met me and I was so happy because I thought she was beginning to accept me but she has been cold and distant since and I clearly take it personally; whereas, my FH was raised in this toxic environment and is used to not knowing how his parents feel about him at all times. He feels okay because his parents are coming to the wedding but I can tell that while he doesn't like his aunts and uncles, it makes him angry that he doesn't have what he calls "a normal family."
Sorry for the backstory. I'm a little emotional today. His aunts and uncles all RSVP'd "No" because they will be attending a family friend's quinceanera instead. I tried to be positive about it and tell him that maybe it is just more important to him and he said "we're going to be okay but you know this is not normal.. I know you're trying to be respectful of their culture but what they are doing is attending a birthday party over a wedding. would you do that?" and I answered honestly and said no..
I am so happy he is close with my family. He is good friends with my sister, regularly hangs out with my dad & brother alone, and constantly thanks us for loving him as much as we do because he has never felt like he had a family unit the way he does now. He likes that we already know where we are going for every holiday and he can't wait to give the stability I've had to our children.
Thank you for reading all of this if you did. we will be okay.
