fh doesn't want a wedding....

Hi Kimmie, I’d have a heart to heart with him. Perhaps take sometime to yourself to gather your thoughts, why having a weddings is important and meaningful to you, and what you feel you’d be lacking if you didn’t have one. I’d acknowledge his tendency to be spontaneous, and point out how that can be a positive thing at times; maybe give examples of how you’ve compromised in the past, but this is a day to show your love and commitment for one another in a very meaningful way (even if at the moment it’s more meaningful to you), and it’s not something that you want to forgo. It’s not merely a piece of paper or a legal document, it’s a symbol of your deep rooted love for him as a spouse, a friend, a father, etc. I think if you take some time to write down how you feel and bring that into the conversation (staying away from “you statements” it might be helpful). Maybe he could be the one to have you two go on a spontaneous honeymoon or vacation as a compromise. Also, could it be that money is a factor in his decision making? Even small weddings can add up quickly. That could be a question to ask, too. & if that’s the case, you could suggest ideas that would not cost much. I pray it all works out for you. 🙏🏻💗 Have patience and remember to show him love throughout the conversation, even when tensions may rise. Try not to let anger or impatience creep into the conversation(s), and keep your mind on what’s important (your love for each other). Sending lots of love!!

What about the idea of having a courthouse or city hall ceremony and a reception on another date?

View Quoted Comment I was going g to suggest the same thing. Do the courthouse wedding. You can wear whatever you want, dress up or down, have flowers or not. get a photographer if you want. Then throw a party to celebrate. You can incorporate as much or as little of the traditional wedding reception things you want. The important thing is that you both find a way to compromise so both of you are happy and don't regret anything.

So he wants to be married but doesn't want the wedding part? That's doable of course, but do you feel heard in this conversation?

I had friends who wanted something simple, but not a courthouse, so they had her father marry them in a public park (check to see which ones are free and allow for things like this) and only their parents and siblings were present. She had gathered a small bouquet of wildflowers from their yard (backed up to a field and woods) and then had a simple white gown, he wore his best suit. Then they went to a restaurant with a few close friends and their family members. So maybe you guys could find some sort of compromise to keep it simple like he wants and special like you want.