fh doesn’t want a first dance

Most first dances are not that long. I have actually never attended a wedding where the couple dances for the whole song. I think we danced for about a minute and the DJ faded it out when we gave him the signal (started just swaying and hugging). You can do all the spotlight dances all in 1 go. We did our first dance right after our entrance, and then we sat down and the MOH and BM did toasts while people were served the appetizer course. We then had the father/daughter and mother/son dance after dinner to open up the dance floor.

View Quoted Comment Oh that’s smart to have the father daughter dance after eating! I never would have thought about that! Aww I love it! So after the first dance just fade out to nothing or fade into inviting other couples to join?

Most couples only dance the first minute of a song and then the dj opens the floor to all guests.

View Quoted Comment Just fade out into nothing. We did it at the beginning of the reception, so guests were served the appetizer (we had a plated dinner) while we were dancing and started eating. A good DJ will be able to transition the events seamlessly. They can also help you coordinate your reception timeline to what makes the most sense for your event. Our DJ and photographer were super helpful in creating our timeline.

I had only slow-danced twice (in ten years) with my husband before our wedding, as he does not like to dance and has never wanted to dance at other weddings we’ve attended. To my surprise, however, my husband never put up a fight about doing our first dance, the mother-son dance, or a few other dances at the wedding. If he is adamant about not wanting to do an entire song, you can talk to your dj about only doing part of a song, as any decent dj will be able to have the music fade away naturally or transition to the next song. I believe the first dance is typically followed by the father-daughter dance.

Parent spotlight dances are optional and many skip them.


You can also do the first dance while guests are eating so there's less attention on you.

Our DJ specifically spliced all our special dances down to less than 3 minutes for this very reason.

We started with the first dance, went to father/daughter, and then mother/son. After that, we opened up the dance floor.

Talk to your DJ about editing the song to a length you are comfortable with.

My fiancé HATES to dance in front of people (sober lol) too! And since I didn’t want to get him loaded just for a dance 😆 we decided to do our first dance just the 2 of us while our guests are at cocktail hour. This way we will get that special moment just the 2 of us, and he will get to actually enjoy it rather than being uncomfortable or anxious.

My dh doesn’t know how to dance. He only posed dancing for our std photo session. I won’t even have a guest. I asked to dance inside our hotel room at night with my gown still on ☹️ It maybe because of his pessimism. He doesn’t dance at all. In New Year 2000 we were at a party, and our friend were asking me to dance. I said yes and didn’t even ask if dh was okay with it. I just let dh hold our baby. It was Social dance, I need to add, so nothing sexy or weird. Afterwards he was upset for a week, giving me a silent treatment after saying that only couple dance, because they touch each other and stay too close. FYI, he is not very possessive now, and went to therapies, but it made him so jealous 😔

I'm not much of a dancer either unless I have alcohol in my system. Lol. You could always do the dance in private.

The spotlight dances where everyone watches each dance from beginning to end, are a recent thing. The traditional thing is for it to be announced that the couple will dance 1 minute alone ( for quick pics) and ask that everyone join in at that time. Also, instead of a short first dance, one that lasts at least 4 min is chosen, so when others join in, there is a full dance.
Same with father daughter. Knowing the spotlight is on for only 1 minute is easier for many. .... I would also suggest a few ballroom dancing sessions, at a dance studio, or on your own. Nothing showy. Just the basics. It is a lifelong social skill.

I’m the one who doesn’t want a first dance. We are compromising by cutting it short and then having the DJ invite everyone else to dance to a more upbeat song. We aren’t doing parent dances.
Your DJ should have a good understanding of what timeline/order will work well!