fh doesn't trust hormonal bc

Birth controls are so different for everyone - After my 3rd miscarriage I opted for permanent BC called Essure (I didn't want to go through the heartache of losing another pregnancy).

I can tell you I worked in an ER once and I still remember this day - 2 couples came in (different couples) but around the same time.... One couple thought for sure they were having a miscarriage and the other thought for sure she was having other women's issues (couldn't be pregnant because she had tubal and him vasectomy). I had to draw the blood for each of the women. You can guess where this is going.... the first couple - woman ultimately had some women's issues and the 2nd couple ended up pregnant. The ER doctor made me rerun / draw blood (I kid you not) 4 times. Thought I screwed up the labels, etc. There are no assurances.

I think the question or conversation you have to have is with your FH - why does he want to use a condom so much. There's no right answer here. You can still do a teledoc visit with your Dr to discuss other BCs and you can also use the good old fashioned calendar method and if you're going to have sex while ovulating use a condom them for alternative / extra BC.

It sounds like he needs a basic sex-ed course. I'd take him to the doctor with you, so they can explain that hormonal birth control is just as, if not more, effective than using condoms. He should also care that you don't like the way condoms feel and want it to feel good for you... It sounds like he's miseducated on the matter and not open to compromise.

Your response is actually quite uninformed. Hormonal birth control can absolutely fail for a variety of reasons and to say he needs basic sex ed and is miseducated is terribly unhelpful. Ask any group of women and you will hear all kinds of stories about BC failures. Doubling up methods can be a very smart way to prevent unwanted pregnancies.

To the OP: Each partner should absolutely take responsibility for birth control if preventing pregnancies is the goal. Your partner is a man, so barring a vasectomy, condoms are the only kind of BC he can choose for himself.

I understand that you don't like condoms. But what if this was reversed and he didn't want you to use hormonal BC because he didn't like the way it affected your moods (or whatever reason)? The choice to use it would still be completely up to you.

So, where to now? I think a discussion about permanent BC is worth having now. Maybe a timeline for when you both will make that decision? But also, do your own research (using real information from your doctor) about the failure rates of the different kinds of hormonal BC so you two can discuss and maybe find one that would make you both comfortable.