fh buddy as an groomsmen

It’s up to your FH to choose who he wants as his groomsmen.

Your FH gets to pick his grooms man. So unless the grooms man has hurt you and has made you feel unsafe. Then yes he can be his grooms man. How would you like if your fiancé told you who can be your maid of honor?

View Quoted Comment Yes, he has stated my one friend couldn't be in our wedding and I didn't ask her to be in our wedding.

View Quoted Comment That is completely nuts to me. I could not imagine that.

View Quoted Comment I'm an recovering addict and his buddy does drugs so yea I don't want him at our wedding with drugs n all high for the fact I'm not going to risk my soberity for my fh n his friendship nor for anybody else.

View Quoted Comment The he makes you feel unsafe.

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Woah, that is so messed up! FH needs to see how unfair this is to you. It appears the groomsman also makes you very uncomfortable, and understandably so! If FH can't respect your reasoning, you sadly no longer have a wedding problem, but a FH problem. I'm so sorry you're going through this, and I'm so proud of you for breaking your addiction!

View Quoted Comment Thank you I am too!!

View Quoted Comment Agreed! What she said x2

I’m sorry that you’re going through this but I really think that you should sit your fiancé down and seriously talk to him about how you’re feeling and about his friend. If your fiancé does not take your feelings into consideration ,like someone else said you no longer have a groomsman problem you have a fiancé problem because no matter what your fiancé supposed to back you up on your decisions and you’re trying to do the right thing. Good luck

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This should be an exception. Normally, I would agree with PPs that he can ask whoever he wants to be a GM, as long as it's not someone who is abusive to you, etc. But, this is one of those times you should put your foot down. No recovering addict should have to spend time with users--it puts your recovery in jeopardy.

You can still offer FH a compromise, and suggest that his friend be invited as a guest. But him being in the wedding party? No, I don't think that should happen. Not under those circumstances.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your response