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Just Said Yes September 2019

fh broke off engagement and asks me if I'm happy about it

JudyBerna, on July 19, 2019 at 6:56 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 20

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I'm so confused. I am older and have been married twice before. Been with my FH oh, ex FH for 3.5 years. He's 18 years older than me and also married twice before. He's not the nicest to me and when he's not nice to me I let him know his words hurt me. He's called me some nasty names and have told me I'm fat and ugly. In the past he has let me know if his ex girlfriend from high school would take him back he'd leave me. He also has told me in the past that no man would be with me for more than a week and a half. This all was coming from the man who wanted to marry me.

Well, this morning he decided to start an argument over grocery shopping. I confronted him with his yelling and he didn't like that and asked for the ring back and that he didn't want me anymore. This afternoon he asked me if I was happy to be rid of him. I of course said no that I was sad and that I loved him. He told to move out immediately unless I wanted to be with him because he wants to be with me. I told him he was the one that broke up with me and that we are no longer in a relationship. He got up and got in his car and left. I'm sitting here completely dumbfounded.

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20 Comments

Latest activity by Erin, on July 20, 2019 at 9:37 PM

Just Said Yes September 2019
JudyBerna · on July 19, 2019 at 6:58 PM
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Looking at this, I need to find an apartment and move out ASAP. I guess I just needed to vent.
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Expert September 2020
Terra · on July 19, 2019 at 7:04 PM
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Hello! First of all, I want to say I'm sorry. I know this must be a very hard thing for you to deal with. I also know that nobody can have a full grasp of what your relationship is/was in a single discussion forum post. However, I will say that just from what you've said, he doesn't seem like a nice person. You might love him dearly, but his treatment of you is flashing a ton of red flags. I've seen a lot of abusive relationships first hand, and I won't tell you what your relationship is or isn't, but I will say that it sounds like him breaking off the engagement might be what's best for you individually. I hope everything turns out well and I hope you do end up happy, even if that means you and him are no longer together. Wishing you all the best! 💕
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Super October 2019
Cassi · on July 19, 2019 at 7:05 PM
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I would leave... like yesterday. That is not okay nor would I deal with that. You deserve so much better. Leave his sorry butt now!
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Just Said Yes September 2019
JudyBerna · on July 19, 2019 at 7:06 PM
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Thanks I guess I just needed to vent and looking at what I wrote, it's a gift he gave me!
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on July 19, 2019 at 7:07 PM
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I hope you're doing ok. Sending you hugs. Break ups are always hard.
But it sounds like HE IS A JERK. Like that is in no way to talk to you even if it's in the heat of the moment.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on July 19, 2019 at 7:16 PM
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Your ex sounds like a hateful and abusive person. I'm glad you realize you need to move away from him immediately. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this! Stay strong, and sending you hugs You deserve better!
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Super October 2020
Jennifer · on July 19, 2019 at 7:41 PM
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I am sorry you are going through this. Obviously nobody will truly know your relationship other than you. From what you have said, it sounds like it was a toxic, abusive relationship. I'm sorry you were treated that way by the person you were going to marry. It sounds like your future will be much brighter without him.
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Super December 2021
Casey · on July 19, 2019 at 7:55 PM
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“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.” - Mary Oliver
One of my favorite quotes. I'm very sorry to hear about this but I'm glad you're already seeing that it's for the best! Stay strong!
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VIP October 2020
Kelly · on July 19, 2019 at 8:28 PM
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What a sad, abusive, and hateful man.
It probably doesn't feel like it now but I'll say you dodged a bullet here by not marrying him
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Super September 2019
Paula · on July 19, 2019 at 8:55 PM
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I'm sorry you're going through this. I also want to say that going by what you wrote here, this just sounds like emotional and verbal abuse. Please don't let any man, any person talk to you or treat you this way! Nobody deserves to be treated this way. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise.
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Dedicated October 2019
October2019 · on July 19, 2019 at 11:06 PM
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I am sorry you had to go through that. But I am also glad he broke it off you shouldn't marry this person. Just because you love someone it doesn't mean you marry him. He sounds incredibly abusive and he did you a favor. Seek counseling, don't get into another relationship for a while. I am sorry you are hurting and confused I am not sorry that evil person's selfish ways has ultimately saved you from what would probably have been a horrible marriage.
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Expert August 2019
Tris · on July 19, 2019 at 11:54 PM
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Move on. Having a healthy relationship is so important to mental health. Take time for yourself right now ❤
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VIP October 2021
Jennifer · on July 20, 2019 at 5:19 AM
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As someone who was the victim of domestic violence this man had the makings of a physically abusive one written allllllll over it! He was already verbally, mentally and emotionally anusice towards you. Maybe even sexually.... And I am so sorry that he did this to you.

He has truly saved you from a life of misery and pain. Do not walk- RUN- to the nearest exit and leave 100%!

“The Emotionally Abused Woman” great book and I highly recommend it for you.

He took a lot of your self and now he has given the keys to you to get it back by breaking off this Engagement.

I understand how hard this is, and will be, but I am here anyime.
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Just Said Yes September 2019
JudyBerna · on July 20, 2019 at 9:14 AM
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Thanks everyone for the kind words! I put on my running shoes and started packing yesterday. I let him know I will be out as soon as I find a place. He wasn't okay with me moving out but what did he really expect??!! Seriously. I love myself more than him at this point. My adult kids are behind me 100% and are going to help me find a place near them. I'm excited for a new beginning. It's like a huge weight lifted off of me. It really was the best gift he could have ever given me. I just have to keep busy so I don't get sad.
Thanks again for all your kind words and encouragement. Best of luck to all of you with your weddings and your futures with your Mr Right!
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Devoted November 2019
Heather · on July 20, 2019 at 11:23 AM
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You dodged a bullet girl. Imagine dealing with a lifetime of that emotional abuse. He has stuff to work out but probably wont happen at his age. You deserve better.
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VIP September 2019
Lex · on July 20, 2019 at 12:56 PM
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I’m glad you’re getting out safe. Take care of yourself and your kids. This may not seem like a good thing right now, but you’re gonna look back and be so grateful that this happened.
Sending good thoughts your way!
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Super October 2021
Nicole · on July 20, 2019 at 3:22 PM
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So proud of you for being strong enough to walk away! And it's okay if you do feel sad about it sometimes, but don't let it make you think of going back.

Good luck to you in this next chapter
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Super December 2021
Casey · on July 20, 2019 at 5:57 PM
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So happy to hear this! Stay strong! This community is here for you!!
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Devoted October 2020
8Bitbek · on July 20, 2019 at 7:19 PM
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Run and run fast! He sounds abusive. I think you're dodging a MAJOR bullet, like many others have stated. Someone better will come along who appreciates, and most importantly respects you.
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