fh Annoyed with wedding planning?

I hardly every talk to FH about wedding stuff, unless I truly NEED his opinion on something I think he'd care about. Sometimes I'll show him something cute I bought for the wedding, but that's about it. He doesn't care about all that stuff. I use these forums to get all of my wedding talk out of my system.

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That's a good point.. I guess I just need to utilize these boards more and just tell him when/where to show up

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Lol...it all depends on the guy. Some guys get into it a little more than others. I will say though, we are less than 3 months out and he's starting to show a little more interest, haha.

Not really. If anyone is fed up with the planning it's me haha however, I have done a lot more of the planning than him and we have been engaged for almost a year and a half so I am just getting burnt out and growing over the whole planning experience. I've really only involved him in the aspects I know he cares about and interest him like the food and the music and the cake and the drinks. I'm a perfectionist and LOVE décor/details so I obsessed over the décor and the small details such as invites and flowers mostly myself. If I ask for his opinion on something, he is always willing to be involved and he actually asks me weekly, "what is something on the list that we need done that I can do for you?" So he is definitely involved.

No, my husband was all in with wedding planning because it was "our" day not "my" day. If he is that fed up with it then just stop wedding planning all together. Maybe talk to him and ask him if the wedding you are planning is really something he wants. Explain to him the work that goes into it. My husband knew well and clear that our wedding took a lot of effort to plan so he never got mad or annoyed when I needed to talk to him about it. Sometimes men just say "do what you want" to make their spouse happy but really make sure it's something he wants. Maybe he isn't interested in the planning but wants the wedding, in which case you should respect that and not expect him to be into it.

It's all about knowing the guy you are marrying and planning according to that.

Wow, i would take a step back and just utilize the boards for advice and only go to him when necessary. maybe he is overwhelmed and didnt realize how much really goes into wedding planning

Yeah, it really isn't anything serious that I am rethinking anything.. I was just venting. He cares about the bigger things, but a lot of the little things I feel like he doesn't care about. I am sure I have been talking about it non-stop, so it is probably annoying.

Some people are just way more into wedding planning than others. That includes partners! Mine wanted nothing to do with the planning, details, organizing, etc. But if I had things I needed him to do, people to call, or for things like food tastings...he was on board. So I kept his involvement to a minimum. If I was about to sign a contract or put down a payment, "hey, so I think we're going with this company for our [vendor here]. Do you want to see/review before I sign?" 99% of the time it was "nope, go for it, I trust your pick."

Maybe he's just not a "Wedding planning" type of guy, and that's fine! That's what we're all here for

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So true.. I just need to involve him in the bigger things, the smaller details aren't his thing like me Thanks girl.

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Yeah, he has been really good with most of the planning, it just seems like lately.. and maybe I am bringing things up more lately. I guess just a lot of the smaller details he just won't be excited about, which is ok.

My husband would literally be "whatever you think" - what I discovered was that it tended to be on things like flowers . . . that he couldn't care less about, he just wanted me to have what I wanted. For important things (food, photography, music) he was much more involved. He did most of the choosing for the music, because that's his "thing." He also chose his and the groomsmen's attire.

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Thanks Becky! Yes, I Think that's how he is too. I will just keep focusing on the little details and he can focus on the bigger picture Thanks for your response

Your man is not alone with guys just not being interested in this stuff. I was showing my FH different junior bridesmaid dress options last night and said "Maria, they literally all look the same to me...I'm not good at this" Gotta love him for being honest!

I try to give him options on what I can and if he doesn't give any input then I'm like fine, you can't complain (he won't lol) on wedding day! It doesn't mean he isn't interested in marrying me or the actual day, it's just that little details that only us brides think of just aren't his jam. I did let him know I was stressed since I was doing everything myself so he has been a little more involved lately - just tell yours how you feel.

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Yes! Thank you so much girl

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Exactly! Involve him in the areas that you know he is interested in (usually food and music for most guys I assume haha) and then just do the smaller details that you have fun planning and do those yourself or with your MOH! I think it sounds totally normal, definitely ignore people who seem to be making this a much bigger "issue" than it is

I am an October bride as well and the answer is yes. He doesn't want to do anything. He gets pissy or purposefully makes me wait. I am like do I literally have to hold your hand to do it or what? I have been asking him for 1) months and 2) the past 3 days for addresses from his side of the list. We already have our engagement pictures back. I need to get everything to my brother so he can print them and we can mail them since it's already late. It's extremely infuriating I have to wait on him. I asked him to pick out plates for the registry that he likes (since he threw a fit he doesn't like the ones I picked). I want the website and everything on it to go live for STDs to be distributed. He just doesn't get it. Sometimes I am like dear lord stop me from punching him! Ughhh Since most men don't do a singular thing for planning they don't understand how them not helping on this little small stuff we ask of them makes us want to drive either our head or their head through a wall because us women have done SO MUCH planning already.

Just ask your FH what parts of the wedding he cares to have an opinion on - like venue or music or food, and everything else just plan with your bridal party or family I guess. Like my FH knows I am detail oriented but I just said "Hey are you cool with having a Guest Quilt instead of a guest book?" and he said sure, but I'm not going to bother him with choosing patterns or fabric because he probably won't care that much, but I do lol

Yeah, he's pretty much not super into it either. Also an October bride and started planning intensely in January. He's always telling me that I'm moving too fast and these things can wait, but they really can't. Vendors book up. I think he's finally accepting the fact that I'm going to stress about stuff until it's taken care of so I might as well get it done and over with. Most frustrating thing is that his friend is catering our wedding, I've given him a headcount and an idea of what we want for food and I still don't have a quote or any idea how much it will be and every day that goes by I freak out a little bit more. (we are getting a "family" discount I guess) He hasn't contacted his friend (I've had to - I've met him before so it's not terribly awkward) But still.

As far as decision making, I got his input on bridesmaid's dresses. I was initially thinking short and lacy, but he liked long and that grew on me. He also expressed a dislike for one shoulder dresses, so we didn't get one shoulder. Ended up with a long all-over lace halter neck gown and everyone was happy. Otherwise, I'll just show him things and be like, "hey, do you like this?" Usually he says yes.

My FH was surprised when I actually spent time researching and wasn't doing our normal after work activities. He says, we can hire a planner, but I enjoy the planning, why spend the money? He says but do you have to plan them right now? (12 m out) I say, If I get a couple big pieces nailed down, that's so much less stress later. It's like he wants the wedding to magically appear out of thin air in a year, but our daily life doesn't change at all. You can rewatch Grey's Anatomy without me for a night. silly, wonderful man.