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Devoted October 2017

Feuding in the Family

Megan, on March 26, 2017 at 4:54 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

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My extended family has been in a major fight for years, it's extreme enough that it's even gone into the legal system. Since it's started there's been some major blow ups and a lot of hurt feelings. It's all supposed to be with the "adults", my aunts and uncles, but my siblings and cousins are dragged into parts as well. I grew up really close to my extended family but times have definitely made a huge divide. I've always imagined my wedding including my entire family (especially once all of my grandparents passed away), but they might not come. One of my uncles says that he will come only to the ceremony and he will sit on the groom side. I asked if I'd at least be able to get a photo with him and he told me probably not. This hurt. He's encouraging other aunts and uncles I do the same, maybe even my cousins. My dad fully supports my decision to invite everyone no matter which side of the fight they're on. Do I still invite everyone? But how do I keep from feeling hurt from rejection?

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Megan, on March 26, 2017 at 6:12 PM

Master May 2017
MTB · on March 26, 2017 at 5:02 PM
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Your uncle is encouraging others to not take pictures with you? This sounds super immature. At the end of the day, they are going to look back and see how dumb their actions are. Don't let ignorant behavior ruin your day.
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Master February 2016
Helena Handbasket · on March 26, 2017 at 5:02 PM
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Invite everyone and hope that they are mature enough to act like adults for one day
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Expert September 2017
bitbit · on March 26, 2017 at 5:03 PM
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Invite everyone and tell them to get the fuck over themselves for ONE DAY. What is the fight even about?
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Devoted June 2017
Kirsten · on March 26, 2017 at 5:05 PM
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I would invite them if you personally don't have a problem with them, and if they choose not to come that's on them. I think it's pretty petty of your uncle to sit on the groom's side and not get a picture with you, he doesn't have to interact with family he doesn't want to see if he sits on your side by other people or doesn't take a picture with the family members he's not comfortable with.
Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do to keep from getting hurt by rejection, but at least you can know you did what you could to have them there.
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Expert June 2018
browneyedgirl · on March 26, 2017 at 5:12 PM
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I agree with Kirsten. That's so petty of him. They need to get over it for a day.
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Devoted October 2017
Megan · on March 26, 2017 at 6:12 PM
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Thank you everyone. The feud is over money and passing blame. My dad has a large family and it divided completely in half. One half blaming the other and the other half denying and refusing to accept responsibility even with the incriminating evidence. Through the years harsh and nasty things have been said by all that are involved.
I love truly my family...which is why the rejection hurts so much. My FH is amazingly understanding and has even had conversations with them. I want the day to be completely about us, but I don't want the rejection to affect me the day of.
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