Fellow bridesmaid giving weird advice?

I'm not sure why you would say something to the bride since it doesn't involve you. The bridesmaid probably thinks she's being helpful. If the bride doesn't want her advice, she will let her know.

I may ask the bride separately if she's considering that advice. If she's not even entertaining it, I wouldn't worry, but if she is, then I might mention to her that there could be serious repercussions if she doesn't foreclose that the event is a wedding. Many vendors have a clause about lying about the type of the event that includes cancellation and lack of refund if they find out they were deceived.

View Quoted Comment That’s really all I was worried about. I wouldn’t say anything unless I thought she could get harmed by advice like that.
i don’t mean and offense or anything.

Since it is advice that could potentially harm her if she took it, I would say something to her privately about it. Just see if she was entertaining that advice whatsoever and tell her about the possible repercussions if she did that.

If a fellow bridesmaid was saying something that I blatantly disagreed with or thought would be harmful in a group chat, I’d address it in the group chat directly (**in the nicest way possible). I’d be wary of starting any “behind the back” talk though. I wouldn’t be combative though and would only insert myself if it actually seemed like a problem (a la “charge guests admission!” kind of thing). If you don’t know this girl and their relationship, I’d also sit back for a bit to feel out their dynamic — maybe the bride barely entertains her “advice” as it is. Early on in the process I’d also be keen to not inundate the bride with conflicting advice (that’ll either frustrate her , confuse her, or teach her not to listen to anyone haha)

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I think by doing it privately, she'd understand that you were coming from a place of concern. "Hey bride, I saw the advice BM gave you about the caterer regarding not saying it's a wedding. I just wanted to caution you in case you were thinking about doing that as many vendors have stipulations in their contracts about being deceitful about the type of event they're a part of. Just want to make sure nothing ruins your happy day!" Doing it separately from the group chat will help keep things amicable between you and the other BM.

View Quoted Comment Thank you. I don’t know this girl or their relationship, so I’ll see if the bride responds.
If she seems like she’s accepting the advice I’ll politely say something.

View Quoted Comment I mention it only because I have plenty of friends/family whose unsolicited advice I find to be pretty terrible and would never take haha. Some just people who have well intentioned advice but are very different from me in how they approach things. My SIL and I were planning weddings at the same time so we talked a lot along the way taking notes and sharing tips and advice— honestly i LOVED this, but, she and I are SUPER different people and I didn’t agree with some of her approaches. But I did a lot of VERY polite smiling and nodding and “oh interesting good idea I’ll consider that” haha— so I’m considering that this dynamic could be similar, especially if you know your friend to not have a history of deceiving vendors or shady business dealings

View Quoted Comment I don’t think she’d follow the BMs advice, but I also wouldn’t want my BMs to stand by if they knew I was given wrong advice.

If this advice was given over group chat, I think it’s totally fine to weigh in with an alternate view in the same thread. Try an anecdotal approach, “I have heard horror stories of vendors canceling over misrepresentation of the event type. I’m all for protecting the budget but I’d hate to see something backfire like that!” You could massage it to be as kind/non inflammatory as you want

View Quoted Comment That’s what I am thinking. If they find out and they will she is lying them she could end up
owing the money and no food at the wedding. Or being charged a crazy fee.

Somewhere, someone is advocating this little "gem". Being deceitful with a venue is NOT the way to start off a business relationship (and that is the relationship, if you are hiring a venue). Just consider the reverse, if the venue lied to you...'nuff said.

I have heard this from several sources "don't tell them it's a wedding". WTH?!?!

You only get one chance at a first impression & it works both ways!

That's not super weird advice. A lot of people believe that.

Mention it to the bride that advice might not be the best.

But starting drama with a bridesmaid over this is a little much.

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I don't want to start drama at all, that's why I'm asking on the forum to see what can be done without causing anything.

I was told this very thing and I found it helpful. I can't say it helped get lower pricing, but I didn't take the advice as weird.

View Quoted Comment How is it a material representation if someone says, we are having a family reunion or anniversary party? Does anyone KNOW a situation where a vendor actually cancelled? I can understand how some brides think that when they mention wedding the price goes up. OP is entitled to her opinion, but unless she has actual knowledge of any vendors cancelling, she should not make stuff up. But lying, and saying "I have heard horror stories" when she has not is wrong, IMHO. She can say, that might happen. She is entitled to disagree.