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Savvy October 2021

Feeling Unexcited for my October Wedding

Kaylen, on September 17, 2021 at 1:31 AM Posted in Planning 0 14
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So we chose our venue late 2019, planning on an October 2020 wedding. Due to covid, we obviously postponed until October 2021 in the hopes that things would be better.


We are still going ahead with our wedding at present no matter what it has to look like and with as many safety precautions as we can. Of course I鈥檓 still excited to marry my fianc茅 but the stress of planning a wedding during a global pandemic has made me excited for little else about the big day. With it coming up soon, these feelings are getting worse not better.
Is anyone else struggling with this? Sometimes I think we should just cancel and elope. 馃槶

14 Comments

Latest activity by Kaylen, on September 18, 2021 at 5:00 PM
  • Katie
    VIP August 2020
    Katie
    • Flag
    Hi Kaylen, I felt the same way leading up to our wedding. 10 days before our wedding we had to switch ceremony sites and I wanted to cancel. The stress was unreal. But, when I saw our first guest arrive at our rehearsal, all of the excitement rushed back! 鉂わ笍鉂わ笍鉂わ笍
    • Reply
  • S
    Dedicated October 2021
    Stephanie
    • Flag
    I鈥檓 in a similar(ish) boat. I鈥檓 getting married in early October and covid is really dampening my excitement. My grandmother called last week to tell me she couldn鈥檛 attend the wedding due to covid (she鈥檚 90+ and lives halfway across the country) and I lost a lot of excitement.


    But at this point we鈥檝e sunk so much money in, it would probably be more stress to elope. I鈥檓 hoping once the wedding weekend starts it will all be worth it.
    • Reply
  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine
    • Flag

    Honestly, at this point just try to make the best of it especially since your wedding is next month.

    • Reply
  • Cece
    Rockstar November 2022
    Cece Online
    • Flag
    Girl, I know exactly how you feel. We were in the same boat. We got engaged in winter 2018 and decided to have a two-year engagement and get married fall 2020. Well, we all know how that went LOL so we postponed until fall 2021. Unfortunately, it became very apparent with this Delta variant that if we were to move forward with our wedding in November, we would have to make all the same sacrifices we would have had to make last year. We were going to push ahead, but FH and I sat down and discussed it and realized we would both be really disappointed if we did not get to have the wedding of our dreams. Especially after we had already postponed an entire year! If we settled for less now, it would be like postponing this last year was for nothing. So, as much as we would love to be getting married in two months, we have decided to postpone until fall 2022. We both knew we would regret settling on this once in a lifetime event, so for us postponement was worth it. I think you just need to have a heart to heart with yourself and determine how you feel/what you want. Do you think having your wedding now with all the restrictions is going to cause sadness/regret for years to come? If so, it may be worth it to postpone or to plan a romantic elopement. I know your wedding is only a month away, but it鈥檚 not too late to make changes if you feel it鈥檚 what鈥檚 best for you! Like you said, we are in the middle of a global pandemic- people are very understanding about plans changing right now.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Master April 2021
    Michelle
    • Flag
    It鈥檚 totally normal to feel this way! Planning a wedding during a pandemic isn鈥檛 for the weak! Planning a wedding is very stressful but planning it during a pandemic is insane! So many times during the last few weeks before our wedding I wanted to throw in the towel- I can totally understand why people elope! On the day of, my biggest fear is he wasn鈥檛 going to show up鈥 little did I know he felt the same way & thought I wasn鈥檛 going to show. The magic of the day will be there.
    • Reply
  • E
    Dedicated October 2021
    Elise
    • Flag
    You are so not alone in this! We have a similar timeline to yours, and I鈥檝e been feeling much the same. Being a month out is a lot of stress, some disappointment (final attendance, things you鈥檝e had to sacrifice, crazy requests from people) and after such a long time planning it feels like it should be perfect! What has helped me is looking at similar posts from people before the pandemic - and there are lots of brides who felt this way even then! There are a lot of emotions stirred up by a wedding, so give yourself some slack that it鈥檚 totally ok that you aren鈥檛 excited 100% of the time.
    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle
    • Flag
    OMG! I completely understand 110% and could鈥檝e written this exact post myself last month. Even the dates you listed are so similar to ours (however, we have had many many changes along the way). We got engaged in January 2019 and planned our destination wedding in Las Vegas for 10/10/2鈥 Then we postponed to October 30, 2021 still in Vegas鈥 Then this past May, we moved the wedding plans locally in San Diego (ceremony and reception outdoors) to make it more convenient and comfortable for our guests since 95% of them live in San Diego or LA. Our hope was that life would be 鈥渂etter鈥 by October 2021鈥 But NOPE!


    Well at the end of August I reached the peak of annoyance with this pandemic wedding planning and presented FH with the idea of eloping in Hawaii instead (where our honeymoon is already planned and where he proposed). Thankfully he agreed because he was feeling the same way. Lol!!! On 9/1, we text 鈥減ostcards鈥 to our guests that said 鈥淗appy September鈥 and also provided the update about our canceled wedding. I can鈥檛 even begin to express the ultimate relief I felt updating our guests and canceling with our vendors. The stress and uncertainty was immediately removed from my shoulders. We contacted wedding planners in Hawaii and booked an all-inclusive elopement package. Everything has been so easy and we only have a few small tasks to complete.
    Ultimately, it felt like we were trying to chase down the path of the pandemic and trying to create a wedding that was not our true vision. So it just wasn鈥檛 worth it anymore and the excitement was at a flatline. Of course, we lost some money in deposits between San Diego and Las Vegas. But it doesn鈥檛 compare to the amount that was left in balances to be paid. So we cut our losses and i鈥檓 glad we did. Honestly, the only regret I have is that we didn鈥檛 decide to elope immediately after postponing in 2020. In the end, getting married was most important and we can always reschedule a party (and plan to have a celebration with family and friends for our one year anniversary).
    Every couple has to do what works best for them in their situation. So I wish you the very best with whatever decision you make because I know it will be exciting and beautiful! Congrats!!!
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Dedicated November 2021
    Michelle
    • Flag
    I can totally relate to this and have been feeling down about my November wedding too. We were supposed to have our wedding in November 2020. We postponed to this November and got legally married instead. I was so hopeful this fall would be better but it鈥檚 not looking up (especially in Texas). I would honestly just cancel at this point if we hadn鈥檛 already put so much money into it. We are starting to get RSVPs back and I just have a knot in my stomach thinking about all the people who won鈥檛 be there. It doesn鈥檛 help 90% of our guests would be coming from out of state. It was already a small wedding (70 ish invited) and I鈥檓 worried we will only have like 20 guests there. I get why people are nervous but if I knew it would be like this I would have planned something completely different. It鈥檚 just so disheartening and frustrating that this is how it is for all of us. It feels like we got this season of our life taken away from us a little.
    • Reply
  • D
    Dedicated October 2021
    Dizzy
    • Flag

    We are totally feeling like this. Too much drama between hard core vax and antivax people, who have important roles in our wedding. Lotta people can't come, including none of my dear friends from overseas. Possibility of people being masked, no or awkward dancing, no hugs, and on top of it people telling us from every side we are doing things wrong. This is not what I imagined. Every step of the way has been 150% stress start to finish of our engagement.

    I'm 90% I want to cancel/postpone but my fiance pointed out that it's very possible everything will be the same next year, also we will lose deposits and we didn't have a ton of money to work with in the first place. It's not like it's spring 2020, so I guess we will just have to make the most of it. We really wanted this to be a day of joy and celebrating love and coming together in community, it doesn't feel like it right now.

    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I understand how you feel regarding your guests/guest count. We had 70 guests as well and sent save the dates. But (thankfully) one of the best things I did was to stall on sending invitations. I planned to mail them mid-September. But I think deep inside, I truly knew that I wanted to cancel. So, even though I had the stationery company lined up, I didn鈥檛 purchase invitations yet.


    We had the opposite situation where 90% of our guests were local. However, 2 of my out-of-state friends already purchased their plane tickets before we announced our cancellation. Initially, I felt bad about that. But not for long because I knew those tickets could be used to take a different trip. Now that we decided to elope, I feel the happiness that I wanted to feel about our bigger wedding. I think it鈥檚 the intimacy and adventure involved (along with the beauty of it being in Hawaii). After everything we鈥檝e been through, it鈥檚 nice to finally feel excited again!
    • Reply
  • K
    Savvy October 2021
    Kaylen
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I鈥檓 hoping that happens for me! Seeing our friends and family that are able to make it will make us more excited on the actual day! 鉂わ笍
    • Reply
  • K
    Savvy October 2021
    Kaylen
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I totally feel this. My sister is the one that was the hardest to know if she can make it since she lives abroad but things are looking good on that for now. Really hoping the week of the wedding it will feel different.
    • Reply
  • K
    Savvy October 2021
    Kaylen
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I definitely needed to hear this! Thank you so much for your input!
    • Reply
  • K
    Savvy October 2021
    Kaylen
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    We do know we are going through with it no matter what. Already I haven鈥檛 seen my sister and her family for 2 years and things are looking like they can actually make it this year. We鈥檝e been planning for so long I鈥檓 just ready to do it, even if it looks different than we thought. We will still try and have the most magical day possible.
    • Reply

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