Feeling unappreciated... vent :(

FallBride,

Don't take it personally. Not everyone is going to have the same level of excitement and passion about your wedding as you do because it's your day not theirs. It's not because they don't love you or care about your day or want to be a part of it. It just doesn't hold the same value to them.

I try not to talk too much about our wedding around family and friends because my SIL talked so much about hers and made it such a huge deal that I wanted to BARF and or strangle her by the time the big day came around and I didn't want to annoy people lol

That time it went a bit better. We were all excited about the dresses. I started to talk about shoes and what possible color combinations they could use. They said maybe silver, nude, or gold. I said sure, those would be nice.

Not surprisingly, the one BM I mentioned early bought shoes without telling the MOH and other BM and said " I already have shoes, you guys said nude color " , then I texted her and said we hadn't decided on THE color. One of the other BM was leaning more towards the silver one. sigh* I wasn't trying to make them all look like twins but it would have been nice to know what she was gonna get before she got it. I have to give my MOH some credit though, she has helped me the most, even if it was only a few details, something is something.

I just needed to let this out they don't really understand me and though they are happy for me, I bet they think all the planning is easy lol I prob. thought that too before I got engaged hehe....

I feel a little better now

The one that made fun of you is she married or has she ever been. If not she doesn't understand the passion you get for planning your wedding. I'm sorry your's BM's are being too cooperative but don't feel bad..I wish I could do more stuff with mines..I'm basically just doing it on my own...

That.. sucks 2 of my 3 maids got married 2 years ago and i was in their weddings and was 100% there for them, and now that i'm getting married, they help as much as they can, even though we all live in different states.

and don't worry about collecting pictures and ideas!! that's the fun part of it all!

Awe.. i pretty much had the same issues. I gave Hubby tasks to do and it would either take him forever to do and I had to nag him constantly or he didn't want to do it at all and that I would end up changing it all anyway so I should just do it. It seemed like he didn't care, but at the same time, it was 95% true, I was such a control freak over the wedding, my bridesmaids hardly offered to help, but yet also my fault because i didn't delegate because again, i'm a control freak, i wanted it my way and my way only. I had issues with dresses because i couldnt get a day that all 5 would be there so some weren't impressed they didn't even get a chance to try any on, but we were cutting it close to ordering time.. i know how you feel but don't be down! Let your bm's know you need help and give them tasks to do with deadlines. It will help! Same with FH. Just remember that it will all come together and it'll be the best day of your life!

Thanks Trista. You are most certainly right. I should not take this personally. (well, maybe today I will hehe).

@ Mayra: she was married, but she didn't really have a ceremony or reception. It was more like a party at her house to celebrate. The marriage didn't work out and now she is divorced.

@ Erin: glad to hear your bms are helping you. Yay for you

@Nikki: your story sounds so familiar lol I made it as simple as possible for FH. For each vendor, I gathered all the info from possible choices and gave him a list and all he had to do was choose the one he liked the best Regarding deadlines, I remember now that a while back when I was still looking at flowers, I asked my bm to look online for flower bouquets and choose 3 pictures and send them to me. I wanted to have an idea of what they liked, needless to say, no one send me pics.... lol , ok, my MOH send me some three weeks after the deadline...

Thanks for the kind words I am sure that when the day comes we will all have fun and it is going to turn out great (^_^)

I'd cut them some slack. This is from a BM's point of view. It's hard to be excited abut someone else's wedding ideas. Especially if you have different tastes. I have a friend and SIL whose WPs I'm in, and they both like things that I would never pick. I don't say anything negative, but I don't get super excited either because I'm not good at pretending that I love something when I don't. Like I can't fake a "OMG! That satin ballgown style your leaning towards is so beautiful!" or "Yes! That backdrop is very elegant!" when I really don't feel excitement for either of those things. Best I can do is "It's nice", keep my big mouth shut, buy my dress, and show up. I keep my mouth shut out of love, not because I don't care.

Yeah, I've learned to not take it too personally. My MOH is pretty anti-love and I decided to promote one of my other maids to co-MOH after my original MOH asked if she really had to be there for my bridal shower. Now I've pretty much accepted that I'm making the whole thing happen, but I'm a bit of a control freak, so it's not too bad. At least everything will be how I want it to be. :-) As for my FH, he hasn't done much of anything, but the things he has suggested I've shot down, so I can hardly blame him.

@Allison H- I am so glad I'm not the only control freak-ish bride! I would much rather do my stuff on my own anyways. That way if it is messed up the only person I can swear and curse at is myself lol plus when it comes to DIY stuff, I don't feel as if I'm teaching art class. Not everyone is gifted in that area lol