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Expert July 2020

Feeling Stressed!-wedding Alternatives

Courtney, on April 24, 2020 at 6:34 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

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Our wedding is in July and with everything going, we aren't sure how to make Alternatives for our guest. We have a back up date for August, however we are trying to move and would prefer to keep our original date. Several people have asked what are we doing about the wedding as if we should cancel and I'm not sure how to answer that. We are in Florida , and a lot of places are still open and NONE of our vendors have canceled on us. They've been very supportive along with our immediate family who will attend no matter what. A part of me feels selfish for saying we still want to get married on our day even if a lot of people don't come , or even it's just our immediate family but also don't want our guests to feel like we Invited them and now don't care if they come. Things are different now and our perspectives have changed. We realized we just want to get married to each and start our lives.. for those who have done Zoom or cut your guest list, how did you inform your guests? Was anyone offended or expecting you to cancel it?

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6 Comments

Latest activity by Courtney, on April 24, 2020 at 8:42 PM

Super January 2021
Sharonda · on April 24, 2020 at 6:55 PM
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Hey FAMUly - Don't be stressed. Are you trying to proceed as planned or switching to a virtual wedding? I think the two conversations are different. If you want to proceed as planned, let people know that you are proceeding as planned for now but that you and your fiance are carefully monitoring the situation to ensure that you can make any necessary changes to ensure your loved one's health and safety are not put at risk. If someone says they are not comfortable attending, just let them know that while you'll miss them, you certainly understand and respect their decision.
If you are moving to a virtual wedding, you simply let them know that given the current circumstances and your concern for the health and safety of your loved ones, you have made the difficult decision to change your wedding to a small, intimate ceremony with a limited number of guests, but that you would still like them to join in on the celebration through Zoom or whatever platform you decide to use.
Everyone is living in this alternate universe right now. I think people will understand either way.
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Expert July 2020
Courtney · on April 24, 2020 at 6:58 PM
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Hey FAMUly! I want to continue as planned , but it a lot of people cancel , give them the option to see it virtual. I feel like if I give them the option up front, most people would cancel as many guests are traveling a few hours away. Hope that makes sense! I just don't want to seem as selfish .. when I give my response, I can tell it bothers some people but I don't see how. I'm trying to be open to their feelings and consideration while also ensuring we are happy! There are some who still say they're excited and others who seem bothered by my response although I'm trying to be careful how I word things. I wanted to see how others have gone about making alternative plans.
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Master July 2021
Rebelle Fleur · on April 24, 2020 at 7:08 PM
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A lot of brides aren’t as fortunate as you. Their venue and vendors canceled and their states are fully locked down. If I were you I’d have my wedding. If people want to come they will. If they don’t they won’t. By your date I think people will have started to go back to work and started to discontinue social distancing. Do what makes you happy. Plenty of states will have been open for two months already by your date.
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Super January 2021
Sharonda · on April 24, 2020 at 7:12 PM
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I understand, and that makes sense. I'll tell you like someone told me . . . it's your wedding and one of very few times you can be selfish. And, you won't be able to please everyone. Now, I know you won't be anyone in danger, but do what works best for you given the circumstances. What will you be able to live with or look back on without regret? Don't make a decision based on what you think other people expect. I'm getting married in New Orleans in January, so I've heard it too. In fact, my future mother in law, whom I love, wants us to move the wedding to Tallahassee (which is my hometown). NOPE!! NOLA or bust! Now, I am revisiting and reducing our anticipated guest count and making other changes (like changing from buffet to plated, cutting the number of people per table, changing the ceremony layout to account for more space between people, etc.) to make sure we are being as reasonable as possible given the circumstances.
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Expert July 2020
Courtney · on April 24, 2020 at 8:40 PM
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That's very true about some brides not being as fortunate. Your advice has been helpful! We should just continue our wedding as planned , and whoever comes should come! I guess lately I've just been stressed about it with people expecting us to cancel. I'm going to try not to worry about it!
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Expert July 2020
Courtney · on April 24, 2020 at 8:42 PM
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That's true! I shouldn't feel guilty for being selfish and doing what we want when it's our wedding! I definitely don't want to live in regrets. I like the idea of just taking more safety precautions for that day like you just mentioned. Thank you! And yes definitely still have your wedding in NOLA! Much better location than Tallahassee lol.
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