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Laura
Savvy April 2022

Feeling Sad Over Being Ghosted by Vendor

Laura, on March 10, 2021 at 7:34 PM Posted in Planning 0 12
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I was feeling great all through the wedding planning process - happy, excited - up until I have tried to book my makeup artist. I have had my eye on her for 4-5 years, reached out and she said she was available for my date. Woo! I replied back that I was ready to move forward with the booking and ... crickets. It’s been over a week since I told her I was ready to move forward and to let me know where to send the deposit. She seems to be the type that replies once a week or less.


She is very active on her business Instagram and currently has an Instagram Story up that says: “Book Now for 2022 Weddings!” so I also direct messaged her from that Story saying to let me know where to send the deposit as I’m ready to book and ....crickets.
It’s annoying chasing after a vendor trying to give HER money! She charges a higher rate than other artists, so I am also frustrated that the customer service has been so poor for such a “luxury” service being offered.
I really want to work with her, but am feeling ghosted, and not sure why she would be doing this. Do I keep trying to get in contact with her or do I go with someone I like less but has better communication? She has said that all inquires have to go through email, so I haven’t called yet, but I guess that could be a last resort.
Additionally, how did you get over a dream venue, vendor, etc. that ghosted you? It’s a hurtful feeling when it’s your special day and a vendor can’t be bothered to communicate.

12 Comments

Latest activity by Eniale, on March 11, 2021 at 2:56 PM
  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
    • Flag

    I think you need to be a bit more realistic as to your expectations regarding response times. People deal with their businesses differently – some vendors respond to each call and email instantly, others will take their time or designate set days and times in which they respond to enquiries. From what you have written, it has been more than one week but less than two (I assume) since you contacted the prospective make up artist and you have not received a response, but this doesn’t mean that she has ghosted you (not necessarily). You mention that she's a popular make-up artist, it sounds to me like she has her hands full and just hasn’t had the time to respond to you.

    The other thing to remember is that your vendors are only there to do their job/supply their services and get paid. They have a business to run and I don't think any of them would think that a delayed response would hurt your feelings. There is a huge difference between good and bad customer service just as much as there is a difference between taking time to respond to enquiries and actually ghosting people. In any event, good luck with the planning!

    • Reply
  • Reena
    Expert February 2021
    Reena ·
    • Flag
    My MUA needed to be emailed a few times before she would respond. It can be frustrating.


    If you still love her and it’s been a week, I would send another email. If you hear nothing then move on.
    • Reply
  • Laura
    Savvy April 2022
    Laura ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    This is a good point. I do own my own small business (event planning) and make customer service a priority, so I do have high expectations in that department. At what point would you consider that she has ghosted? I don’t want to miss out on booking my second choice waiting for her to respond, if she is never planning on responding.
    • Reply
  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    For me personally, ghosting is more than just not responding. When I think of a vendor ghosting someone, I expect it more to involve a vendor taking a client's money and then going completely MIA.

    My make-up artist has two young children and I'm lucky if I get a response from her within a week, despite the fact that I know her personally.

    Give her another week and write to her again saying that you haven't yet heard back from her and that you want to confirm that she is available and will take the booking. It will be ok Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag

    Move on to another vendor because she is unresponsive. You should never have to chase down a vendor to work with them.

    • Reply
  • R
    Beginner October 2021
    Rajendra ·
    • Flag
    We actually booked a DJ and then canceled because he was very difficult to get a response from. We would have to message him multiple times and call him multiple times over a couple of weeks before getting a response even when trying to pay him and after paying the deposit. It was way more stressful worrying about it so we decided it was best to go with someone else. You don't want to have to worry about if your vendors are going to respond/show up when its closer to your wedding day
    • Reply
  • Rebelle Fleur
    Rockstar July 2021
    Rebelle Fleur ·
    • Flag
    I felt this way about the photographer that was our first choice. I messaged him multiple times on two different platforms and he still hasn’t responded a million years later. Then it dawned on me that if he’s behaving this way now imagine how he’d be if we did secure him. I don’t want to feel like I’m troubling anyone to do their jobs or respond to messages. The one that we ended up working with replies promptly, always makes sure that we are on the same page and is just a pleasure to work with in general. Most times what doesn’t work out is a blessing in disguise.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    I would keep reaching out before giving up
    • Reply
  • Courtney
    Devoted September 2022
    Courtney ·
    • Flag

    When I was in the industry we were pushed hard to respond within 24-48 hours, and that if you weren't going to be able to (extended weekend or something like that), to put an out of office response on so people knew why.

    Personally, I think if they haven't responded in 72 hours it's unacceptable. You shouldn't have to chase a vendor down to give them your money, it's supposed to be the other way around. Anyone that runs a business like that is just a couple of really bad reviews away from losing that business imo.

    • Reply
  • Laura
    Savvy April 2022
    Laura ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Yes! This is how I feel. If she’s busy that’s fine, but just COMMMUNICATE that. Right now it’s been over a week without communication. Even a simple - “Hey, you’re important to me and I’m working on your contract. I’m busy right now but I’ll send it when I can” would be so helpful.


    I don’t want to leave a bad review but I’m definitely getting close to that point. It just seems so unprofessional.
    • Reply
  • Courtney
    Devoted September 2022
    Courtney ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    If it were any other vendor I would have that opinion, I unfortunately haven't worked with a MUA yet, so I don't know if that's the standard for them.

    I would try to reach out a couple more times, and just let them know that you'd really like to work with them because you've been watching their work for years, but if you don't have a contract to confirm your date you'll have to start looking for a different vendor. Then if you do get that contract I would ask them what their usual response time is for communications in regards to your event, that way you have an idea of how far in advance you need to e-mail to get an actual response lol.

    But yea, if your inquiries continue to go un-responded to I would leave a review to that effect, especially pointing out the higher cost to similar MUAs in your area.

    • Reply
  • E
    Expert July 2023
    Eniale ·
    • Flag

    I think this depends greatly on the vendor.

    Venues often have multiple people working an office who can respond to you quickly. MUAs are usually solo, or if they aren't, they just have assistants who tag along the day-of, not people who answer their calls and emails for them. They are likely working most of their time during the day, and especially on weekends. I would caution about being so quick to skewer her over one week. You aren't working with someone with a big team of administrative assistants or office personnel - this is an individual managing a service.

    Also, posting to Instagram is far easier and quicker than responding to emails!

    However, if it makes you antsy, you should probably move on and find someone else. That would suggest the two of you aren't a good fit. She may have a more casual way of working with clients, which you clearly don't appreciate - it's important to keep in mind that vendors are people, not just their work, and you may like someone's work while not liking them. Never book a vendor that your "style" doesn't mesh with, no matter how much you like their product.

    It's totally fine if you have certain expectations for how a vendor will communicate with you! But understand you can't force a vendor to change how they work to meet those expectations. You have to find someone who meets them, not someone you want to meet them.

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