Feeling sad and isolated *Wedding Vent*

Your not alone! I have been engaged for a year and a month as of yesterday, and the wedding is in exactly a year from yesterday. Not everyone was as excited about our engagement as we were, so I did not start planning until the beginning of this year. Now, I have one year to plan, and we have NOTHING done! We picked our wedding party, asked my brother to be the officiant, and as a wedding gift, FH's grandma (a professional baker) is making the cake. Okay, so I can't say nothing. But we have had shit luck with booking a venue. That is stressing me out so bad because I desperately do not want to lose our date! It took 8 months to set a date! I'm going to be really bummed if we have to change it now. And my FH keeps saying it's all up to me. I understand where he is coming from, he wants me to have the perfect day that I have dreamt of. I love that, but I also just want his input. It is his wedding too! And with a budget as tight as ours, I needs lots of creative ideas! I also have an older cousin that is getting married two months after me. Our family wasn't super thrilled about how close the weddings are because wedding outfits, gifts, and hotels are not cheap! A lot of the time I feel like I'm forcing this wedding so much because nothing has fallen into place since the engagement has started. And don't even get me started about the 15 pounds I have put on since we got engaged!

You are not the only one. Some people were super happy for me and congratulatory to me, many many ppl and a lot of ppl even expressed that they were so happy for me and that no one deserved it more than me (I am an older 1st time bride) - these were from my daughter's school teachers and school community! I have two life-long best friends: 1 is super happy and involved, the other not at all and that hurts! My FH drags his feet on all the planning (we are a little more than a year out) - we have our venue deposit down and THAT IS IT and its starting to freak me out a little. We've gotten catering proposals, and follow-up emails, still FH bides his time on it (he wants to choose the caterer because he is a "foody" - fine, but make a move buddy and choose! For us, I think it is because our wedding date is so far out, it is too difficult for even the closest ppl in our lives to want to get involved yet. Although, I would like to set a date to go to the venue again to really scope it out for decorations and my MOH (the really happy excited one who says she wants to be involved) never has time in her schedule to check it out with me. (I have seen it once). Another friend, insists she wants to be a bridesmaid but is never around when I want to go look at dresses in bridal shops. So, I do everything on my own and expect nothing from nobody. When the time comes closer, if I want them to, I will let them join in on the planning. If the BM's want to be inaccessible, I won't have any BM's bottom line. I'm learning what is necessary and what isn't in this process.

You are not alone. I feel the same way. FH and I have been together 12 years and I think our marriage/wedding seems kind of anticlimactic to many people. FH is so busy working that when I do get to see him, we need to concentrate on everyday life stuff. My mother is marginally interested on a good day and my sister is more interested in the wedding of a co-worker than in mine. FH's mom is excited, but she is in FL so....

My MOH has been great, but I don't want to overload her on wedding talk, etc.

Thank goodness for WW!

***...@*******....**** fur babies are ADORABLE!

It is sad that as brides we experience such highs and lows during the planning...and can feel so alone at times. I'm planning our destination wedding and my FH used to get quiet and respond with "uhuh...." when I talked about wedding details. Then his attitude changed when he had to book the rehearsal dinner spot and no one would respond to email or calls! Now he asks how I am doing and offers help

Luckily, you are still "far" enough away from your wedding. Just keep planning but if you know you are not getting the response from people then just exclude them. My FH was only involved in a few big decision. I gave him 2-3 options to pick from and that was it. Otherwise it would turn into a mess. I also made a spreadsheet of what FH owed. He never looked at it but I made sure he knew where it was. A few days before a payment was due I would let him know that I need x money by x date. Has worked pretty well.

In regards to the measurements, depending on who it is for, you still have a little time. Set a deadline on when things need to be done and let your bridal party know. Then let them handle it

I think overall your approach is good, just relax a little

My FH kept telling me, "just tell me where and when". I finally had a heart to heart "discussion" with him and told him that I can do most of it but there are certain things that he HAS to help with. Once in a while I have to remind him but that seemed to do the trick. I also had to do the same thing with my BMs. The one thing you have to remember is that even though everyone is happy for you, it is not as important to them as it is to you. If your wedding party isn't helping, look around. I bet there are a lot of other friends out there that would be more than willing to lend a hand. I have planned almost my entire wedding with the help of people that are not even in the wedding party. Keep your chin up and smile. It will come together. You have time yet, even if it feels like you don't. Stressing over it will only make it worse! (Most likely, I'm old enough to be your mom......so I hope you will take this as a bit of advice from a mom as well as an older bride. :-) )