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Devoted October 2019

Feeling Sad About the Lead Up

Cathy, on August 28, 2019 at 1:18 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 5

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So...I am a little over 6 weeks out and so far, (a) the bachelorette party got cancelled (everyone bailed) and (b) no one is coming to the shower (15 invited;?11 said ‘no’-guests are so far me, my Mom and MOH’s mom.)
i feel like I am being petty, but I busted my back side for the parties for my friends when they got married, and they can’t even make it to my party?! This has literally been the story of my whole life, and I could usually blow it off, but for such a big life event, it is hurtful when people bail on you like this.
ive had people suggest that my Mom host another shower closer to where everyone lives (MOH lives 70 miles away and was having the shower at her house), but I feel like that would look like a gift grab.

Are these feelings normal and just stress related?

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Cher Horowitz, on August 29, 2019 at 2:19 PM

Legend June 2019
Melle · on August 28, 2019 at 1:22 PM
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I think it makes sense to be disappointed that the events aren't panning out the way you'd hoped
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Devoted September 2019
Hannah · on August 28, 2019 at 1:30 PM
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It is really frustrating and I get where you are coming from - my shower was small & intimate, and most of my family members are not even making it to the wedding itself. My bachelorette weekend is a joint celebration for 3 people. I only have 3 friends and 2 of them are my bridesmaids already. One thing I would suggest is planning nice things for yourself throughout these next weeks and give yourself something to look forward to - whether it's taking yourself out to lunch, giving yourself a DIY beauty night, whatever it is make sure it's something you know you will like and just let yourself be alone if that's the way it's going to be. At least you get to enjoy something.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on August 28, 2019 at 2:55 PM
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Having two showers in 2 areas is pretty normal, I'm not sure I'd drive 70 miles for a shower. That's pretty far, depending on traffic. The most I've ever driven for a shower is 45 minutes and it was for my mom's best friend's daughter so my mom and I went together. I am very sorry about the bachelorette!
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Master May 2021
Cristy · on August 28, 2019 at 3:45 PM
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I remember your previous post about this, and I know I weighed in. Looking at your situation, I would never think that a second shower was a gift grab. You have a very specific circumstance here, and that is that nobody wanted to drive 70 miles for a shower! I have to say that I would probably not go that far either. So, a second shower, hosted closer to where all the potential guests live just makes sense. It's not like you already had a large shower, and got lots of gifts and are now trying to wrangle a second one. This is very different.
I'm sorry things are not working out how you'd like. I'm feeling really bad for you, because every bride deserves to have these kinds of events, and it's just wrong that the location is the reason yours isn't working out!
I hope you get a real shower, with all of your favorite people in attendance.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on August 29, 2019 at 2:19 PM
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It's fine to feel disappointed, but please try not to dwell on it. Having a shower hosted by your mother sounds totally fine
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