Feeling sad about my parents

So sorry this is happening to you do you talk to your dad at all? Glad your FH is supportive and so are these forums

Yeah I love my dad. He had a severe issue with alcohol when I was younger but he cleaned himself up. He's just really OCD about work and time off and scheduling. Like tuesdays are laundry days and if he doesn't do laundry it makes him anxious.

ETA: And yes, we talk as much as we can on the phone

I'm really sorry you are dealing with this. I have read many postings of brides who are not on good terms with parents and I can imagine it is not easy. Despite your situation, I am so happy that you are starting a new chapter of your life with someone who sounds so loving and supportive-you deserve a happy family and it sounds like you found just the right person to make your family! Congratulations and I wish you all the very best!

@EMF Thank you

I think you walking down with FH is wonderful. I totally get being sad about your parents. I don't want to get into it but i have a super complicated relationship with my parents too so I understand. I have to say that a lot of therapy and work let me get over not having them be a traditional part of my life and my wedding. Instead I'm going to walk down by myself.

Something that helps me though is knowing FH is there and he's my new family. He treats me the way they never even tried to treat me. That's why I think your FH walking you down is so amazing. He's your family and he's treating you the way your parents aren't, but the way you deserve to be treated, with love.

Hi sweetie- I'm so sorry about your situation. But you know what, you are marrying a special person in your life. He will make you feel like you are the most important person in his life on your wedding day. Try not to dwell on it and just think that your day is coming up quickly! God bless you both!

@Tallah Thank you for sharing. I am trying to work through it in therapy also. I think the thing that makes me most upset is the fact that my mother can get me worked up. Its not a healthy relationship I just wish she tried harder to be my mother.

And you're so right about FH being my family. His family is also my family and they are seriously the best in laws ever. Its hard to keep that as my focus sometimes.

I'm so sorry... I was in foster care at 13 and never saw my mother ever since I'm 21 now and my wedding is in November and as we get closer it makes me sad she will miss an important day

@Tiffany

Yeah Its kind of sucky how parents can still disappoint you into adulthood

I'm sorry that your going through this. My family won't be at my wedding either (sort of similar situation) and I can relate to how much it hurts. There is a special kind of hurt that comes from your parents disregarding one of the most beautiful moments in a persons life. It always bugs me knowing that even though I have years of experience of being let down by them the sadness still happens.

But one of the best things that can come out of it (as PPs have said) is with your FH you gain a new family. And it's a huge bonus if you get in laws that are just wonderful. Everyday I consider it a blessing that not only did I end up with an amazing man, but his family is as well. The days that it hurts the most about my folks I try to focus on that.

I wish you all the best.

I'm so sorry Sweetie. I love the idea of you two walking together.

My parents are both passed and I really miss them especially at this time. And my brother is being a jerk and apparently won't be walking me down either.

You're going to be so happy and a beautiful bride!

I know it won't be nearly the same, but could you Skype the wedding to dad? Would that help you feel even a little bit better? It sounds like you'll have a great family in FH's family.

Family is who you make it, like you'll be making on with your FH. Is there anyone in foster care who was a good influence for you, a case worker or FP? Maybe someone who wasn't quite a parent but still good times?

So sorry about this. My mom didn't go to my first wedding, and the reason she gave as to why is still really silly. This time she was almost dis-invited and ended up leaving early from my wedding. This is mostly because she's a narcissist and even though it was my day, she wanted it to be about her.

@going to the chapel

My dad doesn't have a computer or known how to work them lol.

@Broo

My therapist and I are going to be working on "forgiving" my mother after I get married. He said its going to open up too many anxieties for me to start before.

@Mary R. I cant imagine how that must feel. And your brother is missing out on a once in a lifetime opportunity to support you.

I appreciate the support so much. I get angry at the idea...and then i get sad that i let it bother me and its just been overwhelming.

NightOwl that is the sweetest damn thing, your FH is definitely a keeper I'm sorry you've had to deal with that crap, but I think you and FH walking down the aisle together sounds just perfect! No wonder you're excited

I'm so sorry honey that's a lot to handle. It's still very difficult to think your parents won't be there on your big day. Just know you are marrying the man of your dreams, and everything will be okay.

im glad you all like the idea of us walking together.

It will cut some nerves and I get to be with him every step of the way.