We're here to help you keep moving forward, no matter what your plans are.

Melanie
Savvy April 2019

Feeling really self-conscious

Melanie , on February 6, 2018 at 7:41 AM Posted in Fitness and Health 0 28
Saved Save
Reply
I have always been a thick girl.. even when i was the best shape of my life I was considered thick. I have put on some pounds in the last 10 years and my family makes sure I'm aware of it.. then my younger sister just went and did this photo shoot just because and she's this size 0 and always has been, and I just keep seeing my family talk about how beautiful she is and how they are so proud of her. If it wasn't for my fiance I don't think anyone would even call my pretty... I've been trying to work on my weight but with working so much lately my motivation is down and seeing my family just put me down all the time, it really just makes me want to give up... this is more of just me venting .. I just I wish that I could either loose the weight or hell my family would stop putting me down all the time ..

28 Comments

  • Heather
    VIP January 2019
    Heather
    • Flag
    I am sorry you are going through this. I hope your family realizes how hurtful they are being and stops. No matter what though, you should know you are beautiful. And that look on your FS face when they see you on your wedding day will be one to cherish and remember. Good luck with everything!
    • Reply
  • A
    Dedicated June 2019
    AtoK
    • Flag
    Go you check if your healthy. I'm a little over weight, have been my while life, because I've been proportionate my whole life. Other than being over weight I'm completely healthy, of course I eat a balanced diet, I go to the gym 2-3 times a week, so my doctor of course would like to see weight loss, but wants me to stay healthy. Don't do anything that can hurt your body, and talk to your family and tell them you need support with this. Keep listening to your fiance, I'm sure you are beautiful and focus on being healthy not necessarily a size 0.
    • Reply
  • Noel
    Savvy October 2019
    Noel
    • Flag
    I had to look at your pictures before I posted anything. I saw you in your dress and you look gorgeous! You don't look heavy at all you look like you have curves but in the best way possible. I'm sure your size 0 sister wishes she could fill out her bra or her jeans. Everyone feels like they are missing something or something is wrong. You really really looked stunning in your dress and need to stop worrying about what your family thinks.
    • Reply
  • Cynthia's and Robert  Wedding Day
    VIP September 2020
    Cynthia's and Robert Wedding Day
    • Flag
    This is a touchy issue for me too. I have been as small as a size 3/4 and as a large a 13/14. Which is my current size. I dont ever want to be a size 3/4 again!!! My goal is too be healthy which makes me the most happiest. But when my kids call me fat my comeback is I am still cute!!!. Love yourself !!!!!! at any size馃挅馃挅馃挅馃挅.
    • Reply
  • plangalCG
    VIP May 2018
    plangalCG
    • Flag
    I am so sorry your family is so awful to you about that. I鈥檝e been heavy my whole life and I鈥檓 fortunate that, though they have their own issues, my family has never put me down for it. Try looking at some body positive stuff. You鈥檙e beautiful and your fianc茅 knows it! Now you need to believe it and tell the family to butt out!
    • Reply
  • M
    Savvy April 2018
    Mandy
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Good suggestion.
    A hyperactive thyroid could male you retain weight too, no matter how much you work out or try to eat well. My mom was about to be put on medication for it at 25 (them she got pregnant amd it corrected itself), and my soon to be MIL had the same issues except has been on medication for it for decades.

    I think some pharmacies are even able to test your thyroid for you now for less than $20 (at least thats what the advertisement at HEB said).

    Sorry your family is being so hard on you :/
    • Reply
  • Melanie
    Savvy April 2019
    Melanie
    • Flag
    I really appreciate all of your words. I've struggled with my self esteem for as long as I can remember and that's do to my family growing up. And I know my FH loves me and I can't wait to see his face when I walk down the isle but I'm going to try and step it up hopefully just to make myself feel better .
    • Reply
  • I
    Savvy June 2018
    Ischemia
    • Flag
    There's nothing wrong with your size. You look beautiful. I'm not telling you this because it's the right thing to say. I'm saying it because it's TRUE.
    You should have a talk with your family and let them know how you feel about there comments. If you don't they'll keep doing it not knowing.
    I think your beautiful but if YOU don't like your size. Your the ONLY one that can change it. Eat good and look up couch exercises.
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Dedicated May 2019
    Sarah
    • Flag
    Hi Melanie Smiley smile I agree with Heather above... I hope your family realizes how hurtful they are being. I encourage and EMPOWER you to ignore all of it! I realize this is much easier said than done. Remember how important how YOU feel in your body is... do you feel beautiful? Are you happy when you wear that gorgeous dress? I鈥檓 assuming the answer is YES! Then that鈥檚 what matters and it鈥檚 the only thing that matters.
    • Reply
  • S
    Dedicated June 2018
    Sherika
    • Flag
    I think sometimes people say things without even thinking. I would definitely address this and ask not to mention my weight or size. It鈥檚 one thing to be self conscious about it yourself by people constantly mentioning it can鈥檛 be helpful. Continue to work on your weight loss goals, while loving who you are as a person. What鈥檚 important is the love and support from your FH. He loves every inch and imperfection and I had to realize that鈥檚 all that matters.
    • Reply
  • Rj923
    Dedicated May 2018
    Rj923
    • Flag
    You are gorgeous and your dress is amazing! Sometimess you have to just tell your family how you feel then move on. Hopefully they will make some changes but if not then they don't deserve to be in your life. I'm overweight and honestly I'm beyond blessed to have an amazing family and fiance. Of course I have dealt with other people who comment on my weight but I just shrug it off. I learned a long time ago not to let others dictate how I feel about myself.
    • Reply
  • M
    Devoted February 2018
    Melissa
    • Flag
    I think you are beautiful. I feel you on the weight too. I gained 50 lbs when I was pregnant with my daughter and that was 4 years ago. I have lost maybe 10 lbs. I also have an imbalance in hormones due to having an ovary removed. I have to get my thyroid checked because of family history. No matter how I feel about myself, my FH still makes me feel like the center of his world. You have that and that is what is important. But your family sucks and maybe you just need to straight up tell them the things they say hurt a lot. Sometimes confrontation can be a blessing. But seriously, you are beautiful and that dress, omg!
    • Reply
  • B
    Dedicated April 2019
    Brittany
    • Flag

    Be like Joey Tribbiani from friends. "I'm curvy and I like it!!"

    If you're happy then tell them to STFU.

    I've also had people talk about how empowering boudoir photo shoots are. Look into that see what you think. And if you really like it, gift it to FH as a wedding present!

    • Reply
  • ThePeoplesBride
    VIP October 2020
    ThePeoplesBride
    • Flag
    I feel you on so many levels. My family is the same way. I have also been thick for most of my life. Even when I was at my lightest in high school playing sports and working out nearly every day, my family still made fun of my gut and chunky arms.

    Honestly, it just took time for me to realize how much I just did not care what they thought. My now FH thought I was beautiful and worth his time. It took time for me to realize that my self worth is so much more than what I look like and how much I weigh.

    I started a fitness journey about a month ago to try to be a healthier version of myself. Not to lose weight for my wedding or for anyone besides myself. If you want to lose weight, lose weight for you. Not for the comments from your family to stop because they probably won't, no matter how much you lose. Once your attitude about yourself and their comments changes they will be forced to communicate with you differently.

    Don't lose weight to be like your sister. Comparing yourself to someone else is a guaranteed way to make yourself miserable.

    You are beautiful. You are strong.
    • Reply
  • J
    Dedicated March 2018
    Julie
    • Flag
    I've been a big girl my whole life. Even though my family didn't accept that I was healthy I was always happy with who I am. Did I want to be smaller. Yes. I actually lost 95 pounds a couple of years ago and was not plus size for the first time in my life. (And I mean since I was a kid and I am 46 now. ) I was not at all comfortable as a size medium. It wasn't me. And people I had known for years didn't recognize me. I have put most of the weight back on and I am happier I have ever been in my life. I know it's hard, but just try to be happy. It doesn't matter what your size is.
    • Reply
  • Going to the chapel
    Master July 2017
    Going to the chapel
    • Flag

    I'm so sorry your family is so insensitive and makes comments that are offensive. Over time, those have to wear a person down. It seems that has happened to you.

    All you can do is concentrate on is living a good life. Work on your self-confidence. Make small changes to feel better about yourself, not to lose weight. Who knows, maybe weight loss will follow. Increase how many fruits and vegetables you eat. Drink LOTS of water. Cut down on sugars. If you can, take a short walk during breaks and lunch. Again, not to lose weight, but to feel better about yourself. To know that you are living a healthy lifestyle.

    No matter what, remember that FH loves you as you are and that's what is really important.

    • Reply
  • LoveAlwaysWin
    Devoted August 2018
    LoveAlwaysWin
    • Flag
    Looking at your pictures I see nothing over weight about you. You are gorgeous and flaunt your curves. Everyone expects everyone to walk around looking like a supermodel not worth it as long as you are happy with yourself that鈥檚 all that matters
    • Reply
  • M
    Dedicated June 2017
    Monica
    • Flag

    You are beautiful! I also looked at your photos, and I wouldn't even call you 'thick', as you put it. You have beautiful curves. I have a friend that still struggles with a family that is constantly critical of weight. All of the parents, aunts, and grandparents put pressure on the cousins to be a size '0', and anything less was considered huge. It took her years of therapy and being away from her family to finally recover her self-image, and even now her parents are critical of her weight gain after she had children. It's such an unhealthy emotional environment and she works hard to remember that. Maybe therapy will help you realize how beautiful you are, and also give you strategies for dealing with the completely rude comments of your family.

    • Reply
  • A
    Expert January 2019
    Anakaren
    • Flag
    First of I want to say you need to learn how to love yourself no matter what others say and secondly be healthy that鈥檚 important but overall you look amazing and not over weight at all , I鈥檝e seen the post you made showing yourself trying on the dress and your not big so stop thinking that you are you look amazing !!!!
    • Reply
  • PrincessLawrence
    VIP June 2018
    PrincessLawrence
    • Flag

    I am really sorry you are going through this. Last summer I was asked if I was pregnant twice, once by a child and once by a grown adult. That is what pushed me. It was hard to stay motivated. Everytime I did something got in my way. But I never gave up. My mom use to call me fat too so I feel ya. You have to want it for yourself and no one else. It is the only way it will work. Plus a work out buddy. Without my one bridesmaid who is addicted to the gym it never would have happened

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles