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Expert June 2019

Feeling Overwhelmed with Costs

Angela, on May 9, 2018 at 9:54 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 18

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Let me start by saying my fiancé and I were told we can have our dream venue for our wedding and reception for free. It is an outdoor venue that holds a lot of significance and meaning to both of us.
We booked it for June 2019 (we’ve only been engaged a few weeks), and I began planning. Keep in mind also that all costs are purely on my shoulders- I’m not getting any financial help from anyone else planning this wedding (not saying it should fall on anyone else- I’m just saying, I only have so much available to budget with and that’s why I’m figuring it out now- so I have a year to save.)
I figured on $5-10k for the reception, keeping in mind I’d need to rent a tent, fans, tables, chairs, etc, plus catering and a bartending, and costs for beer and wine and maybe a signature cocktail.
Today I found out there are additional costs I hadn’t prepared for- renting portapotties for guests, generators, parking attendants, security, etc. This will easily up the cost by several thousand.
I don’t know that I can swing all the extra costs. I’m starting to wonder if I should just have the ceremony at the venue, then just go to a restaurant for a regular dinner instead of a reception. My FH is ok with this. The only thing I’d really feel I missed out on is the first dance and the father/daughter dance. 😢 And the fact that a restaurant isn’t going to have any special meaning to us....
I didn’t realize when we got engaged a few weeks ago how overwhelming and stressful the planning and budgeting would be!

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18 Comments

Latest activity by Angela, on May 18, 2018 at 3:18 PM

Master April 2019
Brittany · on May 9, 2018 at 10:09 PM
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You could always push the wedding back so you can still get married and have your reception there, just giving yourself more time to save Everything really is expensive, and it’s hard with venues such as yours where you need to rent literally everything.
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VIP May 2018
Red Queen · on May 9, 2018 at 10:15 PM
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Why not push it back an extra year and have the wedding you really want to have?
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Devoted October 2018
Kimberly · on May 9, 2018 at 10:19 PM
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Maybe do the ceremony at the venue and then do the reception at a firehouse or something inexpensive. It wouldn't be the fanciest but usually places like that let you do whatever you want for food, drinks, and decorations.
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VIP June 2019
Vanessasaurus · on May 9, 2018 at 10:23 PM
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You could always rent out a simple hall such as a vfw hall or firehouse hall, and bring catering/alcohol in yourself. These types of venues end up being much more affordable.
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Dedicated September 2020
Disney Bride2020 · on May 9, 2018 at 10:36 PM
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I'd push it back I had too it upped my budget almost 5 grand.
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Devoted September 2018
Katie · on May 9, 2018 at 11:51 PM
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Sometimes restaurants have room for dancing! It doesn’t hurt to investigate a little more before making a decision.
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Just Said Yes May 2019
Ana · on May 10, 2018 at 12:16 AM
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Wedding budgeting is one of the most important things to do in the beginning stages of planning. I recommend you get all the quotes from all the vendors you'd need to hire and start there. This is the only way to paint a realistic picture for your wallet. Catering, staff, and bar services alone can get very expensive, depending on your menu, serving style and first count. You can then determine if it's worth keeping this dreamy venue, looking for an alternative all-inclusive place, or pushing the wedding back a few months to save more money. Since the venue is free, you wouldn't be losing any deposits!
Good luck!
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Expert August 2018
Mrs. Mecking · on May 10, 2018 at 12:18 AM
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My FH and I quickly figured out how expensive and how stressful things were becoming. We originally had about 60 guests, ceremony at a beautiful nursery and then dinner at a restaurant (renting a private room). Even that was more than we wanted so we scaled it back and are now having about 15 guests, ceremony at the courthouse and dinner at a restaurant then a small party at our house. We enjoy throwing parties at our place so this is where we’ll do our first dance and cake.
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Expert September 2018
R · on May 10, 2018 at 8:50 AM
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I'm feeling overwhelmed. It seems to just keep adding up. We even estimated the cost when we started planning. I regret not having at a venue that doesn't provide everything.
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Master October 2018
DC Wife 10.27.18 · on May 10, 2018 at 9:17 AM
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I'm sorry this is adding up for you. I had a similar experience when my original venue changed management so we moved to an a la carte venue so things quickly started adding up. Can I ask where the ceremony venue is?
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Dedicated July 2019
Cierra · on May 10, 2018 at 9:37 AM
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I definitely know the feeling. Once you start wedding planning, the reality of how much a wedding, your dream wedding actually cost comes crashing down. When I heard that average cost for a wedding is $35K , I could not believe now that I am in the middle of planning, I can quickly see how easily the costs creep up.
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Master July 2018
Mcskipper · on May 10, 2018 at 10:01 AM
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Yeah, my “free” outdoor venue ended up WAY more expensive than a proper venue would have been. I think the idea to just do the ceremony there and then have a restaurant reception is a great one— you still get the sentimental connection to the space, but you need way less “stuff” ...and, nothing about this plan prevents a first dance and a dance with your dad! You could do these things at your ceremony site or clear a little space for it at the restaurant
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VIP June 2018
Meet_The_Clarks · on May 10, 2018 at 10:44 AM
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I completely understand the stress of it all. This is why we opted for a 2+ year engagement to save appropriately. I can only speak for our situation, but it worked. Didn't change our love for each other or the desire to want to get married. It also allowed me to plan without stressing out to the max. Just something to think about.
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Expert June 2019
Angela · on May 10, 2018 at 11:50 PM
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Thank you all for your kind and thoughtful responses! I think at this point I’ll price everything out just to have a full idea of what the “dream” wedding would be- but most likely will do the restaurant reception idea. You all are right- surely I can find somewhere that offers a small area to have a first dance & father daughter dance. Even if I waited 2 years to plan, I’m just not sure I’d ever feel justified in spending such a large amount of money on a reception. Thanks all!
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Expert October 2019
joey · on May 14, 2018 at 8:29 AM
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Yeah, when you get into renting tents it can be very expensive. My job rented a 40x40 tent for a annual employee lunch at a beautiful park. The total for the tent plus twenty 8 foot tables and 160 chairs was $2800.00. Not including any kind of AC, draping, windowed tent, flooring, lighting, no extras. Just a bare bone tent with a couple of tables and chairs under it and that quote might be on the low end because I don't live in a major city like LA or Atlanta.
The tent thing works when you are working with a budget under $15K if you have the ceremony outside with a basic tent as covering for the guests during the ceremony, so you can capture all the beauty of the outdoors, and then rent an indoor air conditioned pavilion/shelter inside the park for the reception. Folks can still wonder outside around the tent after the ceremony, maybe cocktail hour could be under the tent if the wedding happens early spring, but there is an option for folks to escape back into the pavilion for AC, the main course and dancing.
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Expert June 2019
Angela · on May 14, 2018 at 10:19 AM
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Exactly. It’s going to cost me $3800 just for basic tent and rentals (no drapery or anything to make it look pretty- just bare bones), plus $1k
for the nice Porta potties! All to be outside with no backup plan if it rains or is too hot/muggy/buggy. 😬 I’m actively searching for a cheaper reception site now, and hoping to just do a quick 20 minute ceremony there and not need all the extras!
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Expert October 2019
joey · on May 14, 2018 at 11:14 AM
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Makes sense, it's goods that you realize it wasn't worth all the money and you were able to reevaluate and go with a more viable plan. We're paying for our wedding too with no funds from anybody but us so we are doing this thing in a very budget conscious way.
I rented an indoor pavilion inside of a county park for $768 for 8 hours. Guest can still venture outside to the patio area, take in all the beauty of the trees and the park, drink a glass of wine and mingle and then come back into a AC controlled environment - on the cheap!
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Expert June 2019
Angela · on May 18, 2018 at 3:18 PM
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Beautiful! We’re actively searching for some reception venues that are affordable and offer indoor & outdoor options and have tables/chairs and restrooms included!! (Which at this point will be a perk!) Turns out historic houses in our area tend to be a bit more affordable with indoor/outdoor spaces, include a vintage vibe (very much our style) and we can bring in our own vendors, so we’ve got a few site visits planned and I’m finally feeling excited again instead of just overwhelmed. 💕💕
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