Feeling judge for having a casual wedding

Definitely don't talk about the wedding before it happens, particularly with people not invited. If you limit your guest list to sensible people who care about you, they'll be happy for you, not judging.

Do what makes you happy. I got married in a park wearing a short ivory lace dress, my husband wore jeans with a button down shirt. We had just 4 guests. Then went to a restaurant after for lunch. Our wedding was over early in the afternoon. We went home and took a nap before going to a hockey game that night. I definitely was not a traditional wedding but it was perfect for us. I'm twice your age and everyone actually loved our plan. I

Nothing wrong with the way you do it. Just as theres nothing wrong with people having something extravagant or just going to the courthouse. Its your soecial day done the way you want it so dont let anyone feel bad. As ling as you have fun and host your guests properly you are doing it right 😊

What you are doing is perfectly fine. Lots of people do not want formal ceremonies in formal settings, or sit down plated dinners, even if they were free. Enjoy yourselves, ceremony and party, and minimize expenses to large home cookout amounts, while other people spend the price of a new car or two on one day. You are wise to know what you want and get it. Who cares about snooty folks who cannot look at anything they did not choose themselves without a snide or condescending remark. At the next present giving occasion, birthday, Christmas, their wedding, you know the perfect gift to give these people: An etiquette book, from a used book store, $5 being all they are worth. And tuck in a note to say, everyone knows you need this.

Funny how the wedding is about the bride and groom (b/b or g/g in some cases) and the guests think their opinion is more relevant. I'm getting married on the beach and we booked an elopement company to set everything up. My parents hate the idea. My family wants a church wedding. My fiance and I don't care because it's not about them. It's your life and your wedding- do what you want however you please! They don't have to come if they feel so strongly. They should care more about celebrating your love and supporting whatever choice you make!

It's YOUR day not theirs! And as long as that's what you guys want that's all that matters. It's about marrying the love of your life and they aren't him! I think it's cool to be yourself and do what is best for you guys. People will always have an opinion but please don't let them ruin that special day for you. Personally, I could get married in my bathrobe as long as my love is waiting for me at the alter! I wish you guy's all the happiness and enjoy YOUR day!

Kelsey,

I.going thru the same thing but in reverse. I'm having a pretty big wedding at a country club which has a dress code. I come from a family where no one knows what it means to "dress up" for special occasions. They all love tshirts and Jean shorts. I'm the youngest of 4 and none of my other siblings had weddings with receptions. I have a sister who keeps referring for my wedding as a kardashian wedding when it's nothing more extravagant than any other wedding I've been to. They've all just done nothing for theirs. They dont understand but I don't let it get to me because this is my day and I want the have the wedding I want. Dont let others push you and just brush it off. Have the day you want and enjoy it with no regrets!!

Stop talking to people about your choices; that’s my advice. I am having the same problem since announcing we put our deposit down. I feel like every one has their two cents to put in about how many people we should invite, that we should have a photographer or flowers even though we’re looking to save money and cut costs, etc... I realized a lot of their opinions and reactions are just that: THEIRS. For some of them, it’s how they did their wedding. For others it’s their style and plans for their own wedding. Whether or not their heart is in right place when they are suggesting things, I decided it’s too much for me to take. I’m a people-pleaser, and hearing the disappointment or seeing it in their eyes made the whole process that much more overwhelming. So now I’m only talking specific details with specific people. If you’re anything like me, it’ll be difficult because you’re so excited, but controlling that will allowe you to stay happy about your choices rather than questioning if you should change it to fit another’s dream.

As you said, you can't please everyone. What matters is what you want and what your fiancé wants to do for the wedding.

I am getting a lot of push back for my wedding since we are getting married at a brewery, serving BBQ and donuts and I am wearing a tea length dress. My fiancé and I decided to cut a lot of things that most people do for a wedding because we want the occasion to be more like us. We want the event to be a big hangout and not super stressful.

People are always going to judge but the most important thing is that you and your fiancé are happy.

I got a lot of this because we had a fairly nice wedding at a nice location, that cost more money than was probably practical to spend. But we paid for it (well, 90%) and we could afford it. We got exactly the opposite of what you're getting. People will always judge or comment - this is why most of the people I know won't share what they plan to name their child while they are pregnant! Everyone feels the need to have an opinion and share it with you without being solicited. If you feel like you are bothered by reactions, then don't share. Just say planning is going well and you are excited to get married and move on. It's strange because we feel like we should be sharing all of these details but sometimes it's just not worth it.

I think it sounds great. Sweet and personal. People live to judge others. A wedding is big to small no alcohol to much money no kids to many kids. Do not worry what others say. Unfortunately people always got something to say.

As long as it’s what the two of you want, and you’re happy with it, who cares? It’s your day, not theirs. If they don’t like it then don’t pay them no mind!

Having a casual wedding won't make you any less married! Plus wedding talk with people who aren't even invited is bound to get salty, don't worry about em.

It's not their day. It's yalls! Enjoy it and do what makes you happy. If it's not super formal, that's perfectly fine. You want to be comfortable, and modest in your spending. If people can't be happy for you, they don't need to go.

People will judge you no matter what kind of wedding you have. Sad to say but it is true. In the end, everyone is married and that is what matters, not what you wore, centerpieces, how much dinner cost.

Two things: Have your casual wedding, it sounds lovely. Don't discuss your plans with anyone, it just invited comments and critical comments.

Also - be sure the remember that although it is casual, or semi-formal, you still need seats, plenty of shade (rent a tent), extra restrooms if needed.

I think people who are critical really wanted a more casual event but were talked into something by their parents and are resentful.

Good luck!

You can't please everyone. I would take the advice of others on here and maybe just don't discuss as much planning with everyone, esp those with strong opinions. In the end, it's you and your fiance's day and you should do what works for both of you!

People will ALWAYS have negative things to say about your wedding. If you go all out they will judge you because you spent too much. If you do something small they will judge you because you didn't do enough. I've been judged because I'm getting a nice dress for a backyard wedding, I've been judged because I'm doing a first dance but skipping other spotlight dances, I've been judged because I am renting nice chairs and tables for my backyard wedding instead of cheaper plastic ones but you know what? They are not paying for anything so they don't have the right to give their two cents. Do what makes you happy!

My favorite thing in response to when someone says something judgy about my planning is to tell them to suck a lemon. I say it in a joking manner- it gets my point across that I'm not a fan of the comment, but it is received pretty well because it's an odd expression. If they do it again or more aggressive, I tell them something a little more... pointed.

This may not work for you, but it has worked great so far with me when family finds out that there are no special dances (my dad's side of the family isn't happy that there's no father daughter dance) or any religious aspects anywhere in the event (sorry grandma, not happening!), etc.

Also, We’re 22 and 23 😊