Feeling Irresponsible Holding Wedding In August

I think that's really nice of you to be mindful of that.

you could reduce your guest list if that helps you ease some guilt

I'm getting married in September and where I live it's spiking too. I'm feeling the same way about a big wedding . I only have 100 guests but still...

I go back and forth with this too. My wedding is in August in Wisconsin. There are no restrictions, and they aren’t seeing a big surge in cases, but it still gives me nerves. Ultimately, we have decided to proceed knowing that our guests are all adults who can make their own decisions about coming. We know we may end up with far fewer guests than we would have had otherwise, and that’s okay with us. Considering that this all started in March, August is still a bit of time away, and who knows how things will continue to change. We don’t know what things will look like 6 months to a year from now either. I would suggest including a note with your invitation and maybe updating your website to give your guests the message that their comfort and safety is important to you, and if they aren’t ready to celebrate in a large group setting, you and your fiancé are completely understanding of that. People may choose to not come, or to show up in masks, or they may have questions in regard to seating arrangements, etc. I think planning events is going to look a lot different for the foreseeable future, so try not to feel guilty about moving forward! Best of luck to you! 💕

I know that seems very unpredictable and frustrating. I'll say you won't know to its closer to time...

I feel the same way. I'm planning my wedding for end of July. My fiance is strongly opposed to rescheduling (since our only options for next year are Sunday through Thursday, or wait until 2022), so we're moving forward with our wedding this year.


I'm concerned about COVID, though we narrowed our guest list from 120 to 75. We will be providing masks and hand sanitizer for anyone who would like them, adding more tables and putting fewer people at each table, etc. Our venue is indoor/outdoor, so that also helps. Cases have been steadily decreasing in Michigan, so I feel a little more at ease because of that, but I also still feel a bit worried. At the end of the day, I try to remember that our guests can choose whether they want to attend or not. We've had a few decide not to attend so far, and we are completely understanding and respectful of that.
A lot can happen in two months, hopefully your state's cases are drastically lower by then!

I think you have to ask yourself the questions no one has an answer to. Is this virus almost done? Will things go back to normal by August. Will they go back to normal ever? I would hate to see you give up your day in hopes that things get better and then they don't. My advice, keep the date, keep the venue, and keep the vendors. Cut the guest list if you have to but don't give it up. There are times throughout history where things like "mask-wearing" lasted ten years (the dust bowl). My point is, we have no answers, this is staying for awhile, don't let it dictate your need to celebrate and begin your life.. Just adjust and keep moving forward!

I feel for you. When we postponed we held off because we felt that we would be in a better position if we couldn't legally have our wedding (in terms of getting a refund or leniency from vendors) but I knew that even if it was legal, there was no way we could go ahead with it.

Is postponing an option? Will your venue and other vendors allow you to postpone with no extra charges or fees even though things are technically open? I just feel like it will be really difficult to enjoy your day if you feel guilt or shame or worry.

I also want to point out that there will be guests who really want to be at your wedding but have real and genuine concerns about their safety and will feel absolutely torn about whether or not to attend. Forcing your loved ones to choose between their safety and their desire to be with you on your special day (which is often an incredibly strong desire) can cause a lot of anguish and isn't really fair to them.

This is tough. I think if I was in this situation I would cut my guest list and work with the venue to create a floor plan that still allows for social distancing.

It's your guests' decisions if they feel like coming or not. Of course they know there is a risk if they do go. They don't have to go if they don't feel comfortable. Just because you are hosting the event doesn't mean you are responsible for their decision-making.

Are most of your guests local? Is the wedding outdoors? If the answers to those questions are "yes," I think you are fine. My husband and I were invited to a wedding in August but we are leaning towards not going because it's about a 5 hour drive and we don't want to stay over in a hotel during the pandemic (or spend 10 hours in the car in 1 day). But if it was local, we'd probably go at least for the ceremony and part of the reception.

I feel you on many levels. We were originally scheduled for 4/4, but obviously that fell through with pretty much everyone in lockdown. At the time, in march, we thought things would surely be calm by August. We had been going between the two dates anyway, so we went for 8/15. Most of our guests are travelling, but our venue has already said we can't postpone again. So it sounds like we'll be going ahead with what we can. As much as I don't like it, we don't want to lose our deposit for one day. So it is what it is.

My postpone date is August 16th (original date May 24th) and we are seriously considering pushing the big celebration to the future (tbd) and having a ceremony and dinner with just our immediate family. Personally I would be devastated if someone got sick from coming to my wedding and the thought of COVID possibly killing a loved one because I choice to have my wedding seems like a high risk. My wedding planner said that so far she knows of 3 different weddings locally that have had someone bring COVID to the event unknowingly (and our city still has restrictions). I don't want that to be how our wedding is remembered.

Just keep talking to your FH. What is important to you? Family is very important to us and putting them at risk for us to be the center of attention doesn't align with our values.

Even though it seems u have no restrictions in your region maybe u can put your mind at ease by implementing some of your own, maybe allowing your guests the option to wear masks or proceeding with a cocktail style reception instead of a sit down or buffet. i understand your guilt i feel that way about my bridal shower but youre not breaking any rules. if u really feel strongly u can postpone or explain your situation to your venue and see if theyll give u a portion of your deposit back if not all

I felt the same way, which is ultimately why I postponed my July wedding. There are definitely a lot of situations that I can confidently say that isn't the best choice for everyone, so after thinking it through make the best decision for yourself. I felt really lucky that my venue and all of my vendors let me postpone to a later date seamlessly and without charges. The venue would have let me go on, but there were no guidelines about 2 months out and I just didn't feel right with moving forward. People have been pretty supportive about it being postponed. I felt uncomfortable with putting people in the position of choosing to come or not, or feeling pressured to come to support me over their own concerns about safety. There really is no saying what it will be like in another year, but I just didn't have enough information right now to proceed safely. Best of luck to you!

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Same here. Wedding is at the end of July in a hot spot state Louisiana. Guest list is also 75 and we are strongly suggesting people wear mask. We are not allowing plus ones unknown to us. Venue provides hand sanitizer and we are also doing fewer people at tables. Soooo worried all this money will be for nothing. We actually had a living room ceremony 1/1/20 but with home improvement projects, being an MBA student, and wanting to expand our family i just want this part over with. I placed all information on our website under a Covid-19 tab and told my guest to prepare for rapid changes as far as table seating and other venue arrangements.