Feeling insecure after wrong sizes at shower

A few comforts:

- A lot of them were told the wrong size, they didn't just make the assumption to buy you a size L.

- Letter sizes are different in so many places that sizing up tends to be necessary when gifting clothes, just to play it safe! My sister is a size S but half the time I have to buy her size M because most retailers just don't accommodate her figure and I don't want to hassle her with having to exchange a gift!

- Sizing up underwear likely means they think you have great curves, not that you're big all-around-- lingerie tops and bottoms in a size larger than the rest of you might have meant to be flattering.

- A lot of women in my family size up lingerie (I haven't been searching their undie drawers I swear- just doing laundry!!) for comfort purposes, so there's also a chance that they wanted to buy you something pretty and comfortable, rather than restrictive. If nobody questioned the fact that they were told to buy size L, they probably just assumed that that's your size of choice, regardless of how they imagine it would fit you.

- Would you be able to guess their clothing sizes just from looking? It's surprisingly hard to figure out what will fit someone, or what they'll find comfortable! Especially when comparing a 3-D person with 2-D clothes laid flat on a hanger. Again, better to play it safe when gifting.

Regardless of *why* it happened, these are all friends who are looking forward to seeing you be beautiful on your wedding day, and picking out clothing that's one size too big (however much it stings) doesn't change the fact that they're celebrating with you, or that they're excited to see you looking incredible on the day of If it really is too much to get over, it might be worth sitting down and asking them about it, they might have been as confused as you at being told to buy size L!

So I think the key here, as someone already said, is that your FH said you're maybe a large if it's something really tight or not stretchy. If I were buying something for you, I'd probably go with a large just to be safe based on that information. And sometimes I feel like it's safer to buy the bigger size because so much can happen with clothes when you wash them.

As someone who struggles with their weight and has been feeling very fat and pregnant lately, I can totally understand why you'd be upset - but I really really really don't think your friends meant anything bad by it!

I completely understand why this bothers you! For most of my life I was very skinny. I was an Extra-Small in everything when my husband and I first started dating. I started gaining weight in a healthy way over the years but by the time we started planning the wedding I was technically considered overweight and very self-conscious about it. Size mediums fit me well though. That year for Christmas where I was at my heaviest, my MIL bought me all Extra-Large shirts. My feelings were very hurt. I started to feel like I must look even bigger than I thought which mad me extremely self-conscious.

Where I live brides receive household items for their bridal showers but if lingerie showers were a thing where I live my feelings would have been hurt over people getting me the wrong size too. By the time my shower came around I finally got below the overweight mark and was feeling healthier so it definitely would have set me back to start feeling insecure again.

I do think in your case people chose large because your fiance mentioned maybe a large. For some reason people prefer to buy bigger because they are afraid of the smaller size not fitting especially once they hear maybe this size or maybe this one. Also, if guests asked other guests what they got they would buy the same size. So perhaps the first person to go shopping only remembered large, bought that and that's what they told everyone. I think if the girls were taking guesses based off what they think you look like you'd take then you would have gotten all different sizes. So this was more of a miscommunication/misunderstanding. So I wouldn't let it bother you too much, although I know first hand how difficult that is

I've noticed that undies often shrink when washed, too, so maybe that's why they felt safer with a large?

Oh no, don't worry! For my bridal shower I received some xl lingerie pieces that looked huge and were obviously not my size. I just changed them to something more suitable and brushed it off. Some people do not have good judgement when it comes to size - haha