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Beginner April 2022

Feeling Guilty for Wedding Spending?

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Anna, on January 17, 2020 at 6:44 PM

Posted in Planning 25

Has anyone else struggled with feeling guilty or stupid for how much you’re willing to spend on your wedding? I’m totally fine with spending a lot on it, within reason. My fiancé and I are paying for everything ourselves but it seems I can’t get away from the unsolicited comments about how it would be stupid to spend what could essentially equate to a down payment on a house for a “party”. It makes me feel bad and guilty and sucks that people think it’s “stupid” to spend a lot on our wedding. To me it’s completely worth it - our wedding is something I’ve been planning and been excited about for so long and I want it to be a beautiful celebration of our love that everyone enjoys. Yes, what’s most important is two people coming together and our commitment to one another and we don’t need to spend a lot to do that. But, I want it to be nice, elegant, pretty. I only get to do it once and I want it to be beautiful and romantic and I don’t want to look back and think about how I compromised on the food and decor and everything to do it cheap and was disappointed with the end result. I’m paying for it mostly myself, I’m not going into debt over it, but I still can’t shake the guilty feeling from everyone who tells me it would be so stupid to spend that much money on “just a party”. Has anyone else experienced this or am i ridiculous to think it’s fine to spend a lot of money to have the wedding that I want when I could save that for other things down the road?

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25 Comments

Devoted July 2021
Gwendolyn · on January 18, 2020 at 12:16 PM
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I think this is the key takeaway: "I’m paying for it mostly myself, I’m not going into debt over it". I am a firm believer that going in debt for a wedding is not a wise decision, however, if you have the funds to do it and this is something you both want, it isn't stupid and people certainly shouldn't make you feel guilty about it. Some people buy 5k cars, some people buy 50k cars. It's all about the individual and what will make you happy. Easier said than done, but try to ignore the remarks and look forward to fulfilling a dream.
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Champion June 2019
Gen · on January 18, 2020 at 1:01 PM
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I felt like this too for the majority of our engagement. After the wedding, I stopped feeling like that. It was a pricelessly wonderful day and was worth every penny!
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Savvy October 2020
Catherine · on January 18, 2020 at 1:38 PM
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Sometimes I feel that way too because just like you me and my fiancé are paying for everything. I just remind myself that at the end of the day it’s your money and you get to do whatever you want with it. People are always going to say little remarks that hurt our feelings but hey if they aren’t paying for it why do they care.
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Super October 2020
Megan · on January 18, 2020 at 1:40 PM
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Just wanted to drop in here to completely validate how you’re feeling! Everyone has opinions about things and unfortunately the topic of “how to spend your own money” has become a group conversation up for debate. 🤔🙄

I’m also feeling guilty about spending this much money. The sticker shock is real!! 😵😂
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Expert January 2021
Caitlin · on January 23, 2020 at 2:49 AM
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I hear ya 100%. i want a house but i wont sacrifice my dream wedding for a down payment bc i can have my dream wedding AND wait a year longer to get a house. dont let anybody tell you how or how not to do things. this is about you!
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