Feeling guilty about our guest expenses...

It's your day! Do it your way! I've been invited to several destination weddings and they've never been paid for by the couple. Perhaps send a note that gifts aren't expected as they're already travelling to be with you or offer to have a dinner party at your place when you get back for family that wasn't able to attend.

Do what you said, don't let it bother you. If people want to be there, they will. Relax, enjoy your day, and marry the man you love.

They are trying to guilt you into making you pay for their travel. F that. If they don't come, you will still be married. 11 months is more than enough time to plan and save for a destination wedding.

Thank you so much for your support . We did put a note for no gifts , that their being there is the best gift we could receive. I just have a sister that is Never happy about anything! LOL!! I love her I'm just not sure I Like her!!! hahaha

We just went to a destination wedding, and it was our decision that we could afford it. Our other option was not to attend. Many invitees, even some of the bride's immediate family, couldn't make it, and the couple knew that was a possibility. We did give about half as much as we normally would for a gift, but they had no expectations and truly saw our presence as their gift, so they were grateful.

Your guests' expense is not something you should worry about. If anyone is rude enough to suggest otherwise, just tell them you are planning the wedding that the two of you want, and you would be happy if they can attend, but you understand if they can't, and there is no pressure on them. Shame on them for trying to make your wedding about them. The only people who need to be there are the two of you, and I hope it is every bit as beautiful as you dream it will be.

That's the way of it isn't it?

when it comes to some of this stuff, you just can't seem to please anyone. so I quit trying for the most part.

I'm doing things with people's feelings in mind, but all I can do is my best.

my mom wants me to keep all kind of things on hold until she can be certain if she can attend. I know my mom, and there's no way she's going to have any idea until last minute. so I'm just hoping all will work out and she can be here. but I'm not putting anything on hold. it just wouldn't work.

other than what kind of flower she'll wear if she is able to come.

if she can make it, then I'm going to take her out so she can pick out the flower she likes.

assuming of course she doesn't fly in the morning of the wedding. don't laugh, she'd do that just from waiting to pack!

What you sent was a Save the Date - not a summons. If it's out of their price range and they can't come, then say that while you'll miss them and of course wish they could be there, you totally understand.

Fh's brother got married last year in BC. Once we got the date, we booked things slowly over time as our budget allowed.

I live in Key West and am getting married here. None of our friends or families live here. Flights here are really expensive and so are hotels. I felt bad about the cost for our guest and was able to get a deal for our guests to stay at the base hotel for $60 (no tax) a night and I got the conch train as transportation for our guests to get to the ceremony and to the reception. I felt like that made up some and our guests are all making a vacation out of it. We invited 130 people. Don't feel bad, Key West is a great place to vacation, just not to live.

@ Cyrstal That is a great Idea. My Nephew just retired from the Navy after 28 yrs. I am going to mention this to them. I love the idea of the Conch train. We are getting married @ Sunset Key Guest cottages that would be fun for them to ride to the Westin Marina. & kudos to you! 130 people I'm only having 15 people I can't imagine making arrangements for that many.;-) ;-) Congrats to you & wish you a beautiful ceremony.

If you an unbelievably happy with just the two of you then anyone else there is special and not needed. I think you just need to look at it as a day for you and FH and let the complaining just be and don't you dare for one second feel bad about it.

I don't think destination weddings are selfish. I think it would be cool though if maybe you just had a small get together (even if it's just a potluck at your house) for people who couldn't come for whatever reason it may be. In the end, as long as you're happy with what you're doing, don't let anyone bring you down or make you feel guilty!

The only destination wedding I was "invited to" was for a former friend of mine ( yes former lol) that got married to her husband strictly for the military benefits, only told her immediate family ( parents, siblings) that she got married, and then expected all of her friends/family to fly to florida so she could have another "wedding" on the beach. The rest of the guests found out on the day of her wedding that they had been married for awhile already and this wasn't a real wedding...

Like someone else said - it's an invitation, not a summons. If people don't want to spend the money to attend, they don't have to. If they choose to attend and spend the money, then they shouldn't complain about it.

Shut up "Art"

Love Key West...have a blast and block out peoples comments : )

Oh, just a tad bit more.